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Single moms -- I am prepared to be bashed, but I have a serious question.

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:13 PM
  • 111 Replies
6 moms liked this

Let me start this by saying that I understand that things don't always go as we planned.  Marriages end, men run from responsibilities, sometimes they die or are incarcerated. My question is this; Why are there so many complaints about child support?  Why are there so many who intentionally get pregnant by men who are not their husbands?  Why is marital commitment not important to so many of you anymore?  If marriage was not important, the Gay community would not be working so hard to get the right to marry, right?  It seems gay couples are more willing to commit and be responsible parents than straight women who take having children for granted.

There are too many forms of contraception on the market today, many available at your local drug store for there to be THIS many children born to single mothers.  For those who say that their religion does not allow for birth control;  that is an argument of convenience because your religion also does not allow for sex outside of marriage, right?  For those who argue that the government is defunding organizations like Planned Parenthood that supplies low cost contraception;  I have seen this population firsthand.  I cannot give sympathy to your inability to pay for your depo shot when you come in with an I Phone a sleeve of tattoos.  You find a way to pay for what is important.  If someone else is paying for those things for you, then you can get them to pay for your depo.  OR use the money you save on phones and tattoos and pay for it yourself.  The point is that everyone finds the money to pay for things that are important.  Even at $500, depo is less expensive than pregnancy and raising a child. An $1100 bill for an IUD can prevent pregnancy for up to 3-5 years. 

Not just here on CM, but everyday, I see single mothers struggling financially and personally with single parenthood.. If this is your choice, then stop bellyaching.  WOMAN UP and do what you have to do.  If this is not what you want then PREVENT FUTURE PREGNANCIES!  Teach your sisters and friends how to prevent pregnancies.  Do not have children until you are mentally, emotionally and financially prepared to raise these children!  Insist on marriage!  There are LEGAL protections you are entitled to if you are married that you are NOT otherwise.

Finally if you ARE a single mother, stop looking for your next sexual partner and be a mother!  Clubbing and partying will have to wait!  You have a small person who is counting on you.  Your responsiblilies are to prepare yourself to provide for yourself and your little ones.  Yes, ou should have friends and an outlet for support, but you need to protect your children from people who could hurt them, and exposing them to new men puts them in danger.  you should know them for at least 6 months and know their character before you allow anyone near your children.

Let the bashing begin.  


by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:38 PM
12 moms liked this
My you are opinionated. How many days have you lived in a single mothers shoes? How long have you been married?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 1:56 PM
6 moms liked this
I think you are pretty dumb. I am a single mom and I take great care of my child and myself.
I do wonder about what kind of 'mom' spends their time on cm talking down to others...
Most often, when one person points out others' weaknesses, it is their own insecurities and shortcomings that are the problem.
Maybe you are just jealous because you are not half the mom married that I am single.
aandt1999
by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Obviously if you are a single mom doing a great job on your own, then she isn't talking about you.

OP I agree with you. The only thing I don't agree with is that sometimes people are "incarcerated." That shouldn't happen either if the right man was chosen. It's sad how that can be said about so many men. Pathetic actually.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 2:06 PM
7 moms liked this
Too many, and I see it on here all the time, women getting pregnant before they know the guy a month or 2. And the guy runs off and doesn't pay child support. And they wonder why? How about not even having sex the first few months you meet someone. That would be better than knocked up by a loser you don't even know.
ColieO
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 2:08 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm exhausted just reading that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 3:31 PM
5 moms liked this
How about not judging people when you have not walked in there shoes. You DON'T know the circumstances of anyone's life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 4:39 PM
3 moms liked this
Sick of paying for others bad judgement and mistakes.
dingysfamily
by Suzi on Aug. 31, 2013 at 6:22 PM
2 moms liked this

 I'm just flat staying out of this conversation! You can't win for losing on some subjects!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 7:11 PM
If they made their bed they need to lie in it.


Quoting Anonymous:

How about not judging people when you have not walked in there shoes. You DON'T know the circumstances of anyone's life.

jobseeker
by Bronze Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 8:46 PM

I've been married 27 years.  From teh time my oldest was in 1st greade until my youngest was in 4th grade my DH worked mostly out of town.  I was a single mother in all ways except by economy.  I was a SAHM (a luxury to be sure) who was up at 6 am and was with my hildren all day every day.  I remember telling my sister and my best friend that I would not have the energy to step out even if I was so inclined.  Then when my youngest was a freshman and my oldest was a Senoir in high school we separated.  I was working 2 jobs and getting CS, but I still lost my house and had to move into an apartment with 2 HS teens.  My DH and I have since reconsiled, but we are still recovering financially from those years.  


Quoting marchantmom06:

My you are opinionated. How many days have you lived in a single mothers shoes? How long have you been married?



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