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Advice quick please need to make decision.

Posted by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:00 PM
  • 29 Replies

  Is it ridicoulas for me to get upset and leave my boyfriend/ father of my girls for the third time. He got upset the other day because when he went gold panning he wanted me to clean the shower, fold clothes and clean under couch before going to my parents with our girls. I just ended up doing my regular morning clean up, Vaccuuming, dishes, counters cleaned wiped down, things picked up, beds made (Things that I do daily) and left..... He got home and acted annoyed that I didn't do what he asked but I thought all was okay. Next morning he bitched that I went over to my parents without doing what he asked and then said he does not understand why I have to leave and do something on the weekends when he plans to do something. He said and I Quote,"Next time I go somewhere on the weekend or whatever I want t you just stay home like a good girl. You  get to gallivant around and fuck off all week while I'm off busting my butt to support y fou. (He works construction) "........ Okay yes after I do my REGULAR morning cleaning I do take the girls to do a lot, library groups, parks, play dates... I DO KID THINGS, God forbid I NEVER do anything without the girls because that would be highly frowned upon. And then ya if he was going to be gone Monday so I thought hey I will take the girls to Grandma and Grandpa's.

Am I being selfish by leaving?? I left a year ago because he constantly is coming down on me with false accusastions, he did work on that A LITTLE after we came back a week after leaving. Then a few weeks ago we left when he got upset when I asked if the girls and I go spend the night at my Aunts house since he was planning to go camping anyway- My Aunt had been wanting us up to stay the night do crafts and baking. He threw a major fit about how I always ask to do something when he plans to do something and that NO it's weired to spend the night at my Aunts and No we were not allowed to go. He then went to take a shower and I was fed up and left with the girls while he was in the shower...

Now present day- He keeps calling me telling me I'm selfish for taking the girls away, that I'm blowing things out of porportion yada yada ada. He keeps telling me to just come home. I'm so fed up that it would be easier to YES just bite my lip and come home.

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:04 PM
Ok so it is ok for him to do things by himself but,if you go to do things with your children he gets mad. How about if instead of doing things by himself he did those things camping a family with you and your girls? No I wouldn't like being treated like that and yes,I think I would rather be on my own.
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:13 PM

Basically I just wonder am I being silly-selfish. He does work a hard job and he lets me have full control of the money. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of coming back and then leaving again. The girls rabbit is AGAIN all set up in a hutch my dad happily put together AGAIN for their rabbit at my parents house, which was a bit of a hassle but of course my dad didn't complian. The girls and I are all set up again here at Grandma and Grandpa's. But I don't know what to do.

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:15 PM

We do camp and do things as a family- That's his argument that he rarely ever does anything by himself, so why can't I just stay home when he does something.

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I mean Jeepers, ya I didn't do the things that he asked but the day before I literally spent the entire day cleaning cupboards in the kitchen and bathroom and organizing the kitchen counters. The day after I shampooed the carpets and cleaned the back poach. Flip.

by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:25 PM
2 moms liked this
He is abusing and controlling you. Leave him.
by Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:55 AM

sounds like he needs to grow up, he is acting like a child.  He thinks sence you stay home, you don't work.  Men like that make me so mad.

by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:58 AM

Doesn't sound like a very mature relationship

by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:00 AM
He gives you chores and mistreats you. You don't have to ask his permission to do shit. You would have to ask his opinion if he was your partner. But he's not. He's controlling you and you should leave. It's selfish to stay.
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by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

My DH would never even think about giving me a list like that and he would definitely never get pissed at me for not doing it. He appreciates the things that I already do. So I find it a little strange that your DH is so particular about how the house is kept. I would tell him to do it himself.

As for the other things, like making you feel guilty about doing things with your kids or by yourself - screw that. I would be gone. No man is going to control me, especially not when I have daughters to set an example for.

by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:03 AM
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You can't keep leaving and coming back.  It isn't healthy for your kids.  It sounds like you all have communication problems for the most part and that can probably be helped by counseling and working on your relationship.  To me that is no reason to call the whole thing off.  If you do decide to leave then it needs to be for good and you still need to work on your communiation in order to co-parent.  This whole leaving because you are upset and then coming back and then leaving again is not in the best interest of your kids at all. 

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