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Moms of boys with long hair---ETA

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

I am not trying to offend or cause great debate, I just have an issue with this topic.  At school, there's this new boy who has this gorgeous curly hair.  It is a little below shoulder length right now, and he keeps getting mistaken for a girl.  I feel so bad for him.  Students wear uniforms that are gender neutral so it is really hard to tell, and he is about ten years old.  Other kids laugh when it happens.  I'm not their teacher, but I see and hear things.  His teacher pointed out that it is too long for dress code, and he said his mom talked to the director because he's apparently growing it out to donate to locks of love.  I think that is great, but in the meantime things need to change.  I don't want him getting a complex. Any advice?


Eta: I guess I'm being unclear.  Like I lead with, I'm not trying to criticize his long hair.  As I said in one of my responses, to each their own.  Aside from the fact that it violates dress code, it is not my point!  My point is, I don't like the other kids passively bullying him, and I fear for his self esteem as he already is the new kid trying to be accepted among his peers. I teach at the school.  I am hoping for ways to address the bullying without making it appear as though he is being singled out.  We've talked at the school before about accepting differences, but the list has never included hair length,  How can I approach this subject with the students?  Please stop responding to tell me that I shouldn't care about his hair length or things along those lines.  If your child had a similar experience, please share how you addressed it, if at all.  Any other advice on how to help kids accept it better, would be useful too.  Thanks!

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 7:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
danie24
by Platinum Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:44 AM
8 moms liked this

It's not your child and you're not part of his family. Maybe he loves his long hair.

My son had gorgeous, long, curly blonde hair for years. He loved it and wouldn't let me cut it for a long time.

Sometimes people would say "What a pretty little girl you have! Her hair is beautiful".. and my son, wiser than his years, would always say, "I am a boy. Boys can have long hair if they want. Heck, they can wear dresses or paint their nails if they want."... and he'd run off to play.

If the mother is teaching her child to be self confident and not let immature judgments rule his life, she is doing a wonderful job.

If you prefer your child conform to societies ideas of what boys or girls should look like, that's your prerogative. But you should really mind your own business when it comes to other children and their families.


sasismommy
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:03 PM
2 moms liked this

I have never heard of boys getting a complex for having long hair...thats new to me.  My son...altho 1, will have long hair unless he tells me he wants it cut.  It is easy for our family to grow hair.  His father has long locks and my hair strectches to about 2 inches over my bra strap.  My daughter at 2 has very long hair.  I like men with long hair...its sexy.  But I didnt know young men could get complex's.  I think his mother could atleast put it in a pony-tail, and at some point everyone will recognize that hair and no he is a boy.  Is it red hair?

JodyLane555
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 2:17 PM

noyb, honestly

Roo1234
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 3:49 PM
2 moms liked this

Are you sure the kid is embarrassed or bothered by the laughter?  If he is doing it for a cause, it is likely that it is very important to him.  And I would suspect that the cause will raise him up far more than the teasing will weigh him down.  

 If appropriate, I would openly praise him for his efforts in front of other kids.  Make sure your kids aren't part of the teasing and know to stand up for him.  

I'm also willing to bet that if the school has a stict dress code, the other kids aren't used to being around a child who doesn't follow the traditional idea that boys have short hair. They aren't exposed to many kids like this boy so it is different and they get nervous

Kermitthemom23
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 3:53 PM
2 moms liked this
My boy turned 5 and went from buzzed to surfer dude. He is happy.

If its bugging the boy to much he will ask to have it cut.
laam
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 3:54 PM
2 moms liked this

LOmg hair don't care! Lol my son loved his hair.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this


Yes, he appears embarrassed.  I like your idea of openly praising him for his efforts when it comes up.  I just feel like this prepubescent phase is the start of when your peers really matter to you.  I love what he's doing, and even if there weren't an underlying reason for the length wouldn't care, except for it violating dress code.  To each there own.  I just want to make sure he doesn't get discouraged or teased.

Quoting Roo1234:

Are you sure the kid is embarrassed or bothered by the laughter?  If he is doing it for a cause, it is likely that it is very important to him.  And I would suspect that the cause will raise him up far more than the teasing will weigh him down.  

 If appropriate, I would openly praise him for his efforts in front of other kids.  Make sure your kids aren't part of the teasing and know to stand up for him.  

I'm also willing to bet that if the school has a stict dress code, the other kids aren't used to being around a child who doesn't follow the traditional idea that boys have short hair. They aren't exposed to many kids like this boy so it is different and they get nervous



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this


The hair is brown.  The complex I'm talking about is more over his feelings about his peers and their negative thoughts.  He already feels odd enough being new at the school.  Now, this sets him apart even more and makes the fight for acceptance harder.

Quoting sasismommy:

I have never heard of boys getting a complex for having long hair...thats new to me.  My son...altho 1, will have long hair unless he tells me he wants it cut.  It is easy for our family to grow hair.  His father has long locks and my hair strectches to about 2 inches over my bra strap.  My daughter at 2 has very long hair.  I like men with long hair...its sexy.  But I didnt know young men could get complex's.  I think his mother could atleast put it in a pony-tail, and at some point everyone will recognize that hair and no he is a boy.  Is it red hair?



sunpeaches1
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't bother w it. My son had long hair & always mistaken for a girl despite very male clothing! To each their own! If the boy had probs w what others say I'm sure he would tell his parents if he was uncomfortable. Instead, why not be his supporter & put the nay-sayers in their place?
sunpeaches1
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Looks like my boy when his hair was long! He loved it! Daddy caught me at a weak moment when he was 3 & I allowed his to get sons hair cut. I cried after....ds liked it for awhile but now he wants to grow it long again!


Quoting laam:

LOmg hair don't care! Lol my son loved his hair.


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