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if the ncp cannot take care of their kids

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:14 PM
  • 20 Replies
1 mom liked this

If the ncp cannot take care of their children without the Step mom doing everything and playing mom then I think the ncp should have less time with their children if they cannot handle the responsibilities. Agree? Disagree? and why? 

by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:14 PM
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NDADanceMom
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:32 PM

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.

AAP1988
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this


That's where you're wrong. Many kids do have 4. Or 3. Or 1.
If both biological parents are involved, then yes the step parents shouldn't step on toes. Like if bio dad always takes his kids to a ball game the first saturday of the month, then step dad should not take the  kids to a ball game the last saturday of the month, just to do it a week earlier and one up the bio dad for points with the kids. BUT if bio dad is not the ncp and sees his kids 2 weekends a month, doesn't do anything with them and has no intentions on it or traditions with them, then the step dad should be free to do something with them. Or create new traditions, fun things with the kids. Step parents are still parents. They often provide for the kids as much as the bio parents do.

Quoting AAP1988:

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.





NDADanceMom
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:45 PM
2 moms liked this

 And some step parents are wonderful.  Just because dad doesnt make gourmet meals and tend to sick kids doesnt mean the child cant enjoy time with him.  When step mom is making sure business is being handled there is no court in the world that would listen to mom complain and take away visitation.

"hey judge while my x is at work my son is being taken care of by his step mom.  They made cookies together and she likes to read to him.  I think my X should be the only one taking care of him."

yeah right.

Be happy your son has a good bonus mom and stop looking for ways to interfere in your Xs life.  You are so involved in what goes on in his house its bizzare.  If step mom had any sense she would convince her man to go for full custody so they dont have to deal with an unstable co parent.  Seriously the courts are not going to care who is reading the stories to your son at your Xs house.  They will see it as you being CRAZY.

Quoting AAP1988:

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 

 

Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.

 

 

 

AAP1988
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:50 PM

I think parents need to have respect for each other. Plain and simple. I may not be too fond of either one of my children's fathers but I would NEVER let a step dad overstep in my kids lives and I would make sure they were both okay with the step dad doing something first.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 And some step parents are wonderful.  Just because dad doesnt make gourmet meals and tend to sick kids doesnt mean the child cant enjoy time with him.  When step mom is making sure business is being handled there is no court in the world that would listen to mom complain and take away visitation.

"hey judge while my x is at work my son is being taken care of by his step mom.  They made cookies together and she likes to read to him.  I think my X should be the only one taking care of him."

yeah right.

Be happy your son has a good bonus mom and stop looking for ways to interfere in your Xs life.  You are so involved in what goes on in his house its bizzare.  If step mom had any sense she would convince her man to go for full custody so they dont have to deal with an unstable co parent.  Seriously the courts are not going to care who is reading the stories to your son at your Xs house.  They will see it as you being CRAZY.

Quoting AAP1988:

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.



 



kidlover2
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:52 PM
You can not make a blanket statement about very individualized cases. My children's step dad IS their father in almost every sense of the word. I would tell their bio dad where to shove it if he made a stink about it. Four hours a week makes you a donator of genetic material, not a dad. I also know how important it is that my daughters have as much of a relationship as possible with their bio dad. He looks like them, has similar behaviors and patterns of speech. Biological ties are strong. My children have 3 parents. I wouldn't say it's ideal. But there isn't any logical or appropriate way to do it differently.

Quoting AAP1988:

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 



Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.




polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:54 PM
How is the step mom being a step mom to your kids an example of your ex not having respect for you? She's supposed to care for your kids...


Quoting AAP1988:

I think parents need to have respect for each other. Plain and simple. I may not be too fond of either one of my children's fathers but I would NEVER let a step dad overstep in my kids lives and I would make sure they were both okay with the step dad doing something first.



Quoting NDADanceMom:

 And some step parents are wonderful.  Just because dad doesnt make gourmet meals and tend to sick kids doesnt mean the child cant enjoy time with him.  When step mom is making sure business is being handled there is no court in the world that would listen to mom complain and take away visitation.


"hey judge while my x is at work my son is being taken care of by his step mom.  They made cookies together and she likes to read to him.  I think my X should be the only one taking care of him."


yeah right.


Be happy your son has a good bonus mom and stop looking for ways to interfere in your Xs life.  You are so involved in what goes on in his house its bizzare.  If step mom had any sense she would convince her man to go for full custody so they dont have to deal with an unstable co parent.  Seriously the courts are not going to care who is reading the stories to your son at your Xs house.  They will see it as you being CRAZY.


Quoting AAP1988:


Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 




Quoting NDADanceMom:


 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.






 





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NDADanceMom
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 You are a fool then.  All you do is complain that your son cries because his dad isnt around enough but you wouldnt let a future husband of yours fill that role?  So your imaginary husband wants to coach your sons little league and take him fishing, you say no because if his dad wont do it nobody can?

You are not feeling well and your husband wants to read your son a story and you will say no?  You get crazier everyday.  I hope you are just lying to save face and not really thinking that your way makes any sort of sense.

Quoting AAP1988:

I think parents need to have respect for each other. Plain and simple. I may not be too fond of either one of my children's fathers but I would NEVER let a step dad overstep in my kids lives and I would make sure they were both okay with the step dad doing something first.

 

Quoting NDADanceMom:

 And some step parents are wonderful.  Just because dad doesnt make gourmet meals and tend to sick kids doesnt mean the child cant enjoy time with him.  When step mom is making sure business is being handled there is no court in the world that would listen to mom complain and take away visitation.

"hey judge while my x is at work my son is being taken care of by his step mom.  They made cookies together and she likes to read to him.  I think my X should be the only one taking care of him."

yeah right.

Be happy your son has a good bonus mom and stop looking for ways to interfere in your Xs life.  You are so involved in what goes on in his house its bizzare.  If step mom had any sense she would convince her man to go for full custody so they dont have to deal with an unstable co parent.  Seriously the courts are not going to care who is reading the stories to your son at your Xs house.  They will see it as you being CRAZY.

Quoting AAP1988:

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 

 

Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Momofmenagerie
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:19 PM
I disagree with this statement completely. Child/children have four parents if there are steps on both sides. There is coparenting between the bio parents..... I expect my husband to love and and care for my child that he is a stepparent too.
It was even in our vows...and yes, I made sure bio dad was okay with the vows , heck he even came to the wedding.

It is kind of silly to think that there is a person roaming around the house a child is in that isn't supposed to interact..... Like a walking maniquin.


Quoting AAP1988:

Because I believe parents should be respected if dad has a problem with step dad doing something that mom should respect that and vice versa. A child has only two parents. Not four. 



Quoting NDADanceMom:

 What does it matter if step mom is doing the heavy lifting?  If the child and the father are having fun together and the step mom is making sure the kid has proper food and other needs are being met who cares?  Its none of your business how his house is run as long as there is no abuse to report.





pbjacey86
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Why does it matter who is doing what with the kids? If they are taken care of and loved then that's all that matters. And how would someone know what's going on in their ex's household to assume that the step parent is "doing all the work" and not the biological parent? If someone has a problem with a step parent caring for their kid that isn't biological theirs, they have a serious problem!
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