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A common disagreement between husband and wife?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 164 Replies

Okay, So here's the scoop. 

My husband works friday-monday for 7 hours at a time milking cows on a dairy farm. 
I myself am a stay at home mom.

On my husbands days on Tue-thurs he sleeps in until 11:30 sometimes 1.

EVERY morning I wake up depending on my LO anywhere from 6-8, 8 if I am lucky. I take care of him all day every day and most of the time all night.

When LO fusses it is my job because hubby cant handle it. So basically he changes a diaper once in a blue moon or makes a few bottles but everything else is on me.  

He says it is my job to do the dishes, clean, cook, and take care of the baby, yet sits there and tells me I dont have a job.

His excuse for not ever letting me sleep in is that he works.. I tell him I have a full time job and I would like to sleep in every once in awhile too. Maybe he could do dishes at least once, or cook for me just ONCE which he hasnt done since my birthday last year.

Anyhow, I just feel like he is acting like a sexist selfish pig by putting everything on me because he works 4 days a week. I feel like he doesnt take my feelings in consideration, and I feel like I deserve a little more fucking sleep.

Anyhow, I could use some advice on this dilema, maybe some good ideas on how to make things more fair for the both of us?

Especially since I just found out I am pregnant.  

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:37 PM
3 moms liked this

want more sleep go to bed earlier. Life isn't fair get used to it. If you want it to be fair you go milk cows Mon - Fri for 7 hours then lay your ass on the couch.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:41 PM
1 mom liked this

he doesnt work m-f.



Quoting Anonymous:

want more sleep go to bed earlier. Life isn't fair get used to it. If you want it to be fair you go milk cows Mon - Fri for 7 hours then lay your ass on the couch.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:42 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

he doesnt work m-f.



Quoting Anonymous:

want more sleep go to bed earlier. Life isn't fair get used to it. If you want it to be fair you go milk cows Mon - Fri for 7 hours then lay your ass on the couch.



  oops my bad its Fri - Mon

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:45 PM
4 moms liked this

So you dont think I EVER deserve to sleep in? Or to be cooked for ONCE in a blue moon??

You dont think being pregnant I might need just a little more sleep and less stress?

You think since my husband works he should spend any time with his son? 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:59 PM


And btw things were the same way when he wasnt working. He was on unemployment for 6 months and things were the same way. He still never let me get sleep, helped with dishes or laundry or our son. Are you going to tell me thats fair too?

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

he doesnt work m-f.



Quoting Anonymous:

want more sleep go to bed earlier. Life isn't fair get used to it. If you want it to be fair you go milk cows Mon - Fri for 7 hours then lay your ass on the couch.



  oops my bad its Fri - Mon



JodyLane555
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 2:01 PM
34 moms liked this

I used to work full time and then became a stay at home mom, it's harder staying home, you are always on the clock! You really need to have a long heart to heart with your husband and tell him that you are just one person, all of the things you do are no less valuable to your family than his job. You deserve his respect and attention and to be taken care of. Running a home and caring for a family is both spouses job, no matter what else they do or dont do outside of the home. All men should change diapers and do dishes and help to keep the house they live inc lean and help to raise their kids. Remember , a marriage is a Partnership, spouses should be a team. My husband knows that when he helps - besides the lawn - I am less stressed and happier and he gets more sex! You need to stand up for yourself, a lot of times men are like dogs and kids they will get away with what they can, people will always treat you how you allow them to. You need to put your foot down and tell him how you feel from the heart. If he still ignores you then I would think marriage counseling may be in order. A lot of men think however their fathers treated their mothers is how things should be or what they expect. I had to let my husband know early on that I am modern woman and have high expectations, I would never be the wife to him that his mother was to his father.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 2:03 PM
2 moms liked this
Then why did you have kids with him, or marry him??


Quoting Anonymous:


And btw things were the same way when he wasnt working. He was on unemployment for 6 months and things were the same way. He still never let me get sleep, helped with dishes or laundry or our son. Are you going to tell me thats fair too?


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

he doesnt work m-f.




Quoting Anonymous:

want more sleep go to bed earlier. Life isn't fair get used to it. If you want it to be fair you go milk cows Mon - Fri for 7 hours then lay your ass on the couch.




  oops my bad its Fri - Mon





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 17, 2013 at 2:05 PM
4 moms liked this
Thank you for reminding me how very lucky I am.
polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 2:12 PM
5 moms liked this
I'd be pissed if my husband didn't take care of the kids. I wouldn't stay with a man who mistreated me or didn't want to be a parent. Parents take care of their children. Any ody who doesn't do that shouldn't have kids.
If I were you, I'd find somewhere else to be with my almost two kids. How are you going to take care of him and two kids?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 17, 2013 at 2:16 PM


Thank you, you put that so well. I tried to use those words since they were so well put, and in a calm way, also letting him know that I appreciate what he does for this family. He said I was being an effing bitch and walked away. 

Im completely appolled and hurt, and at this point idk what to say or feel or do. I feel like throwing everything on the floor and just walking away. 

I know that I cannot do that because my child needs a mother and a father, and I am not independant enough atm to raise him on my own.

Counseling would be great except we tried that once and had a scandellous councelor who really ruined the experience so he will not agree to that again.

I just want to say that my husband is a good man with great work ethic. Also that were young, and I am his first girlfriend and wife.. ever. I do not think he has any experience with being a spouse or father. Also he was a single child who was spoiled to death.

Hes not used to putting others first.  

Quoting JodyLane555:

I used to work full time and then became a stay at home mom, it's harder staying home, you are always on the clock! You really need to have a long heart to heart with your husband and tell him that you are just one person, all of the things you do are no less valuable to your family than his job. You deserve his respect and attention and to be taken care of. Running a home and caring for a family is both spouses job, no matter what else they do or dont do outside of the home. All men should change diapers and do dishes and help to keep the house they live inc lean and help to raise their kids. Remember , a marriage is a Partnership, spouses should be a team. My husband knows that when he helps - besides the lawn - I am less stressed and happier and he gets more sex! You need to stand up for yourself, a lot of times men are like dogs and kids they will get away with what they can, people will always treat you how you allow them to. You need to put your foot down and tell him how you feel from the heart. If he still ignores you then I would think marriage counseling may be in order. A lot of men think however their fathers treated their mothers is how things should be or what they expect. I had to let my husband know early on that I am modern woman and have high expectations, I would never be the wife to him that his mother was to his father.



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