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Circumcising Your Son Is Nobody's Business But YOURS, So Why's Everyone Fighting?

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:50 AM
  • 78 Replies
1 mom liked this

Circumcising Your Son Is Nobody's Business But YOURS

by Jeanne Sager


circumcisionThese days dropping the word "circumcision" on the Internet is like yelling "fire" in a crowded theater. People. Go. NUTS.

The thing I don't understand? Why? Why are people so concerned about what other people have done with their son's foreskin?

I'll admit I do not have a son. I did not circumcise. Although I can't say whether I would have. The ironic thing is, although we did not know the gender of our baby-to-be, I never really thought about whether or not we'd snip his little manhood.

The point is, I don't have a dog in the fight.

And so I feel like I can say this: standing on the outside, looking in? I think you're all nuts.

Not nuts for circumcising, per se. Not nuts for NOT circumcising, either.

Nuts for letting this become such a controversial issue.

Writer Mark Joseph Stern over at Slate posited this week that the problem is that a "fringe group of intactivists" has managed to overthrow sane discussion of a personal procedure, drowning out the facts. Said Stern:

There are plenty of other loud fringe groups that flood the Internet with false information, but none of them has been as successful as the intactivists at drowning out reasoned discourse. In the case of circumcision, the marketplace of ideas has been manipulated—and thanks to intactivists, the worst ideas have won out.

His dissection of the facts vs. rumors is interesting (and worth a read), but I think he misses one salient point: why do parents care about what the other side has done?

And they do care.

Circumcision posts here on The Stir tend to draw comments in the hundreds, most of them heated.

I've seen moms who chose to circumcise referred to with the sort of words that make you ask, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Over HER son's penis.

HER son.

Not their son's.

And not her penis for that matter. Her SON'S.

Folks, why does it matter whether your neighbor's son's penis is intact or snipped? Does it change anything about YOUR son's penis? Will it change how they interact in kindergarten or on the football team? Will it give him an edge over your kid to grab student council president or that VFW scholarship?

In case I have to spell it out for you, the answer is no.

There are certainly some parental issues that become community property because one parent's action (or inaction) has a clear effect on other parent's children. Case in point: vaccinations. One sick kid makes another kid sick. As long as kids are catching deadly diseases that could be prevented, consider it open season on vaccines.

But we simply cannot apply that same rubric to circumcision. Aside from two toddler boys comparing penises on the playground (because, yes, it happens), what could one mom's decision possibly have to do with another mom's decision? Or dad's decision, for that matter?

From outside the batting cages, I've got to say it to all of y'all: get over it. Make your decision about circumcision, and tell the rest of the world it's none of their darn business what you decided. Then keep your trap shut about what they decided.

Have you waded into the circumcision fight? WHY?

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 9:46 AM
ANY parenting decision is a personal choice so why do moms on this site continue to bash and harass others because of their choices?

As long as the child isn't neglected or truly abused its a personal choice.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 9:53 AM
2 moms liked this


Yes, it is a personal choice, but parents should be aware of the effects of cutting off a piece of their son's penis. 

Intact men are often very adamant that they feel more pleasure and I think parents should take this into account.

Also, I have witnessed many circumcisions while working in a hospital and it is a traumatic act for the baby as evidenced by their reactions. 

Still, it is the parents' choice and their affair.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:16 AM

People seem to have this idea that they have a right to say whatever they want about someone else's parenting choices. It's all a personal choice each individual has a right to make and nobody should give them any flack for choosing to do what they feel is right. Circumcise or not, it's the decision of the parents and not the decision of society at large.

Mommabird123
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:45 PM
8 moms liked this

For me this is a human rights issue. We do not allow foot binding in this country nor do we allow female circumcision. Why not?  In fact most people in this country get very upset at the very idea of cutting off the very same tissue that foreskin would have developed into, had the infant not been exposed to testosterone in the womb... the clitoral hood.  Personally I have a the same visceral reaction to the thought of removing such a richly innervated tissue from any helpless person that you probably have to the idea of someone taking a scalpel to your clitorus without anesthesia.  Women who grow up without the hood of their clitoris don't know what they are missing any more than circumcised men do, they report enjoying sex and are often vocal advocates for the procedure where it is done routinely.  Yet most of us find this procedure morally repugnant - Why?

 I  believe it is morally wrong to make permanent alterations to the body of another person without their consent.  Bound feet and sliced up genitals simply don't work the way they would have had they not been altered.  As such I think removing the most richily inervated tissue from any infant's genitalia is a human rights violation.  Parents aren't allowed to make other perminant cosmetic alterations to their babies, and they shouldn't be allowed to make this one either.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:59 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm on the fence with this one for good reason.

My oldest brother was not circumcised but ended up needing it done when he was 2. You want to talk traumatic? THAT was it.

My brother after him also didn't have it done and turned out fine. He is now 21 and even thanked mom and dad for not doing it.

Everyone is different and there's no way to predict if your son will or will not have difficulties if you chose/choose to do it. I have to admit, when I found out I was having a girl, I was a little relieved that I didn't have to make this choice so I guess we'll see with the next one.

DH wants to have it done to our [maybe] future son simply because he was circumcised. Personally, I don't think that's a good enough reason.

Spamelton
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:12 PM

I'm pregnant with our first, and it's a boy :D  We ARE going to have him circumsized - but it never even crossed my mind to have an opinion on whether or not others choose the same thing for their child... and I'm certainly not going to start having an opinion on it now :)  People have too much time on their hands, which creates too much time for complaining about anything under the sun... sooo many truly important issues could be discussed instead.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:13 PM
Too many dumbasses think they have the right to tell you want to do. Like abortions. Do what is right for you, not what others think.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Because what you are describing is different. Apples and oranges here.


Quoting Mommabird123:

For me this is a human rights issue. We do not allow foot binding in this country nor do we allow female circumcision. Why not?  In fact most people in this country get very upset at the very idea of cutting off the very same tissue that foreskin would have developed into, had the infant not been exposed to testosterone in the womb... the clitoral hood.  Personally I have a the same visceral reaction to the thought of removing such a richly innervated tissue from any helpless person that you probably have to the idea of someone taking a scalpel to your clitorus without anesthesia.  Women who grow up without the hood of their clitoris don't know what they are missing any more than circumcised men do, they report enjoying sex and are often vocal advocates for the procedure where it is done routinely.  Yet most of us find this procedure morally repugnant - Why?

 I  believe it is morally wrong to make permanent alterations to the body of another person without their consent.  Bound feet and sliced up genitals simply don't work the way they would have had they not been altered.  As such I think removing the most richily inervated tissue from any infant's genitalia is a human rights violation.  Parents aren't allowed to make other perminant cosmetic alterations to their babies, and they shouldn't be allowed to make this one either.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:19 PM
How would they know??? You cannot miss skin you never had or had a day. If they had it as an adult, and then had circumcision then those men and only those know and can say they miss something. If it is gone as a baby how can they miss it. Maybe mentally they make themselves think they are missing something but that is not the same. That is a mental thing. Not physical. They have issues.


Quoting Anonymous:


Yes, it is a personal choice, but parents should be aware of the effects of cutting off a piece of their son's penis. 

Intact men are often very adamant that they feel more pleasure and I think parents should take this into account.

Also, I have witnessed many circumcisions while working in a hospital and it is a traumatic act for the baby as evidenced by their reactions. 

Still, it is the parents' choice and their affair.



AliKatAK47
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:31 PM
6 moms liked this
I feel like the only people vehemently against circumcision are nut jobs. Not the people who wouldn't choose it for their sons and don't care what others do. They are normal. I think that the people who are so absorbed in the decisions of others (and this goes from circumcision to breast feeding to abortion) are whackadoodles
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