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EDIT: Does he have the right to find it elsewhere?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Man and woman are in a committed relationship or seven years and have a child together. She has no sex drive. Nothing is wrong with her, she just doesn't want to. Does that justify him getting it elsewhere? Yes or no, and why?
There have been issues with depression in the past. And when it was, it was treated with counseling and therapy as well as a variety of different medications. The meds worked but made the desire for sex even less which increased the problems and fighting. The meds caused bigger issues for her such as excessive sweating, insomnia, and lack of a back bone meaning that she went with the flow of life with no emotions and everyday was a blur.
So she quit with the meds and he threatened to leave her if she didn't get back on them. She couldn't win for losing. There are other issues involved as well. He is a hard working man and a good provider. However, he provides no help at home with child, chores, regular maintenance of owning a house, etc. she works too. She stays frustrated at his lack of interest in his role at home and constant concern of just sex. He doesn't take care of his hygiene like he did when the relationship first started such as brushing teeth regularly (that's a big thing). Even with this, she IS attracted to him but doesn't know how to approach it. Also, there are lots of underlying issues with his family. On multiple occasions he has allowed his family to treat her poorly and has refused to stand up to them on her or their child's behalf, right or wrong. And with time the relationship has turned into simply coexisting for their child's sake. Her heart is still there though, or she would have left for good instead of always coming back. He doesn't see where he does wrong, he just feels like he is being done wrong. She has no desire to be with him or any man for that matter. He isn't concerned with fixing any problem but the lack of sex. He had not stepped out that she is aware. With him working like he does, he doesn't have time. And he is home when he is suppose to be. He doesn't go out.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 24, 2013 at 8:30 AM
Replies (271-277):
by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 12:37 AM
First they both work they should split the house work up. Second unless it's in the AM after waking up from sleep teeth should be brushed! And hygiene should be taken care if anyway, that's nasty.
Should he get it else where? No. He should be encouraging and helping. But if she is okay with it then that's between them. Me...nope. Not okay. Bc again, he should be helping her self esteem, helping her get better over all and bc she is working helping with the house stuff!
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 1:50 AM
If they are married no
by Anonymous 82 on Dec. 26, 2013 at 6:13 PM

sex is part of the relationship/marriage.  so if she suddenly looses interest for him. then i think she should allow him to find sex somewhere else.  their are so many ways he can do it without making her feel less than a woman.  im not giving out a guild on how, that is up to her/him to figure out.

by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 6:15 PM

It sounds like this relationship is a crappy one and should honestly be ended. I can't imagine either party being truly happy with the other and willing to live the rest of their lives like that.

by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:46 AM

Not without her permission. It's never ok to cheat, you may have reasons, they may even be legit reasons, but it's NEVER ok. 

by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 6:37 PM

  No, that is never good but They do need to address his lack of helping out in the home and taking care of the children and she just needs a better medication.   Maybe she has tried for a long time is simply weary from trying different meds but he needs to show some support around the house which could be a small part of the depression and his lack of hygene( EEWW).   He needs to realize that he lack of hygene is a turn off also which might be keeping her from giving him what he wants.   He sounds like he only cares about getting sex and is not realizing that she is having hormone issues due to the meds and so he is coming off a bit selfish also.   

by Anonymous 83 on May. 2, 2016 at 4:44 PM
Regardless of if u want it or not it man has needs. If u aren't taking care of business at home he will eventually go find it elsewhere or leave you. He shouldn't be punished because u have no desire for sex. Woman up and take one for the team or just give up and let him be happy
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