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Do adults automatically deserve respect?

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I grew up treating anyone older than myself with respect automatically, but my husband was taught that you don't have to show respect unless a person earns it.

Do you believe that because someone is an adult or older than you, that your child or you should automatically respect them, or do you feel that respect is something someone earns?

 



by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:24 PM
Replies (121-130):
Mandi2356
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:41 AM
No! I do not! And here is why, I am 23 and the youngest mother at my son's football. A few weeks ago i was sitting alone at his practice when the grandmother of one of the boys walks up to me and starts yelling at me saying i had talked shit about her....which caught me way off guard....I don't even know her. So I tried to keep my cool and explain to her that i am the youngest mother there and didn't feel like ot was right for these older women to try and start shit with me. That is when she responded "yes you are the youngest here and you will respect me! I am your elder!" Hell no i wont respect you just cause you are older than me. She might be old be she isn't my elder. My elders are my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles. If you shpw me respect i will show you respect but i wont show you respect if you do not deserve it


Quoting bamababe1975:

I grew up treating anyone older than myself with respect automatically, but my husband was taught that you don't have to show respect unless a person earns it.


Do you believe that because someone is an adult or older than you, that your child or you should automatically respect them, or do you feel that respect is something someone earns?


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:43 AM
All adults must earn respect, even family members.
Mrs.Suits08
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Children should repsct their elders, Untill they are old enough. Around 16 is when my hubby lost respect for his dad, and mom. Which is understadnable. Once you become an adult Respect should be erned and not given, But children should not have to respect those thier parents do not respect. I would never ask my child to show respect to someone who hasn't earned respect from me.

JoyfulJ
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 10:12 AM

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignaty and politeness. If they are being rude, be the better person. Set firm boundaries, protect yourself and others, but don't escalate a situation.

True respect in my mind requires trust. That is earned. 'Yes, sir' is polite manners, not respect. I do not require my kids to obey anyone. I encourage questioning orders, even from me. It is better for them to question my orders then for them to not question a potential abuser.

Vamp
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:18 PM

I completely agree with you!! It is horrible kids now feel entitled to walk all over you, and parents get upset if you tell their precious snowflakes to stop bullying your kids of what ever. 

Kids need to learn to respect others, especially their elders and authority figures.

Quoting NDADanceMom:

 I teach my kids basic manners and that includes not sassing back to adults.  I teach them to tell me if there is an issue with an adult and I will talk to the adult about it. My kids are to remain respectful.  Its not like I ever have my kids around people I dont know.  If a new coach or teacher is rude my kids will still do what they are told and come home to tell me what has happened. 

Some cultures teach their kids to constantly walk around with an attitude.  There are kids where I teach who have moved in from more urban areas that expect that I as the adult need to show them "respect" aka letting them do what they want with no consequenses, and they can talk to me however they want.   I am the teacher, I am in charge, no matter what your mama told you, is what I tell those kids!  If mama has told you different rules she is free to be the teacher and keep you at home with her!



cheetah90210
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:18 PM
Yes.
Vamp
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:19 PM

So you kids would be able to be rude to the crazy neighbor for example? just because they did not earn your respect?? I don't think so, kids must respect adults.

Quoting Mrs.Suits08:

Children should repsct their elders, Untill they are old enough. Around 16 is when my hubby lost respect for his dad, and mom. Which is understadnable. Once you become an adult Respect should be erned and not given, But children should not have to respect those thier parents do not respect. I would never ask my child to show respect to someone who hasn't earned respect from me.



SpiritFortress
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:39 PM

I taught my children we are on a neutral playing field with everyone. I taught them good manners. However, just because someone is older or an adult does not automatically mean they will be respected. Respect is something that is earned. There are people who don't deserve respect. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:44 PM
Nope! My mother taught me that you should respect your elders. I did, up until I was about 18 and I realized how many mean and hateful elder people are out here. If someone is mean to me for no reason, I don't know why I should treat them with respect.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 23, 2014 at 1:13 PM
Being treated nicely, absolutely. See bratty kids and teens who treat elders like shit. It is awful. It is good manners.
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