Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is grammar really important??

Posted by   + Show Post

I have a bone to pick with some people who feel the need that grammar is indeed important in own way of life and having a relationship with one another. Hi, my name is Jess and I have had issues with learning my whole life. And I've never been tested but I have always been in special classes all though school. My biggest problem is my grammar and sometimes making sense. When some people  make rude comments about others grammar and how they talk. I don't think they realize some have a really big problem with comprehension,confusion and sometimes common sense. That's only part of what some of us go through in our daily lives struggling with the ability to learn. Yeah my grammar might suck but I'm very proud of my self for not giving up and still reading,writing and trying to do my best everyday to learn. My issues, why are some so hard on others when it's not that important, unless that's your job. If your going to write something then it should make sense for your readers. But I'm not here to write a book so I can write however and whatever I like. What if the person your judging has issues but to afraid to admit cause you already have judge them not knowing they have a disorder or disability... What are you going to say "your old enough to learn these things on your own and that's not your problem"? What if they can't. What I'm saying, instead of judging others for something you clearly do not understand. You are not the only one who doesn't. You think it's adult of you to attack others with these issues?! Or how about instead of attacking, teach them. That's what I call being a adult... Other then that,here I am. I'm clearly admitting MY GRAMMAR SUCKS. Am I not good enough? Not good enough to even be your friend??       Well that's just to bad. I disagree cause I'm worth more then what you give US credit for.   I'm not bashing just saying. Understand then judge.

by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 4:31 PM
Replies (41-49):
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

If how you present yourself doesn't matter, then no - grammar/spelling/punctuation is not important.

by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 5:18 PM
I said that I understand LD. I agree you need to keep trying. But in answering your original question, yes grammar is extremely important.

Not comprehending,doesn't mean that it doesn't matter.

Have you looked into specialized help? Are the people helping you trained in working with LD? They may be causing more harm than good if not.

Try slowing down. Thinking a thought through before writing it.
Use spell check.

Quoting mommaJT:

Ya they SHOULD but that it's always the case. If you have a hard time understand anything to learn, doesn't mean it will happen. Because their are a lot of us who do keep working  rather if we work harder. Some of us have a VERY hard time trying to process information making it difficult for us to learn. We can still try but unless anybody knows this then you can clearly correct someones grammar. When others give up and don't do nothing about it that's what I don't get. My dh and my sister been helping me for years. And I still have issues. Are you going to say "I'm just not working hard enough"? Or they're not doing it right and maybe they need help too"? No, you can't. When someone has poor comprehension, it's very hard for us to learn what we have been taught.

Quoting kitty8199:

Grammar is very important. Especially if you're asking a question, or wanting advice. How is anyone supposed to help if they can't understand you?

I know people have LD, and I understand. But that doesn't mean that people should just excuse it. It just means you need to work harder.

You don't need to be perfect with college level grammar, or know all the rules, but an adult should have basic elementary school grammar.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by New Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Grammar is critical. I am an English teacher.

HOWEVER, I have also learned to recognize patterns which indicate that someone has a learning disorder. At that point, I will recommend evaluation, encourage them when they progress, and be generally supportive and understanding.

What I cannot abide is the trend to write in "text speak". Nor do I care to associate with people who choose to use poor grammar regularly in order to form some sort of appearance. You do not sound like either of the above.

Keep learning and trying, and keep your chin up. We all struggle with something, and I applaud your efforts.

by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 3:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Your grammar is better than most people I have seen!
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 5:08 AM

I wouldn't refuse to be your friend. That's just ridiculous. I'd help you though, if you wanted it. ;)

by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:29 AM
I think it's a two way street. Grammar is important to me, it's not important to you. Your life shouldn't have to suit mine just as my life shouldn't have to suit yours. People have different priorities and struggles, doesn't make anyone any better than another.

Quoting mommaJT:

And sorry but grammar is not important. Thoes who are writers, then yes. But for us to communicate with one another. You either read or don't read, period. If anybodys life don't suit them, then that's clearly your problem. OUR lives shouldn't have to suit others because our life and not yours. Just asking anybody who has issues with the way someone writes, talks or whatever. First understand. And if anybody has issues with what they post. It can either be just a small mistake or they clearly need help. So instead of bitching about what any of you read that doesn't suit you. You either help them or move on. I just think it's really stupid for people to point out other people flaws. Everybody has them and that's all it is.

by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree  with you. This is a message board that people come to casually discuss things. Some people are texting from their phones. Some people are tired, sick, or have other issues we'll never know. As long as I understand you, I don't care how you or anyone types because I'm just not petty and uptight like some people seem to be. In an informal setting, it really doesn't matter if you have perfect grammar. As long as we can make sense of it, that's all that matters. 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:24 AM

I have a lot of respect for those who not only understand but make effort to change and help those like me. So, thank you and keep up the good work because it will make a difference in our lives and yours as well. You are dead on in this message. I am now looking into Dyslexia and I scored high on the online test, more then one test of course. Does it mean i have it? Maybe, if i get tested properly but i am looking further into it and maybe you should check it out yourself for your friend, thank you and good luck to you!

Quoting KayBeCareful:

Yes, grammar is very important. It is a major factor in how people look at you and think about you.  In your case, continuing to improve is very commendable. Unfortunately, most people don't do that. I don't know whether you normally do this or not, but explaining your situation to people, when appropriate, is a good thing and will encourage them to help you rather than judging, especially if you let them know you want to continue to learn.  It's certainly true that many people don't understand the struggle some have with comprehension, confusion and self expression. And, imo, the worst thing about it is that it isolates you from upward mobility when it comes to jobs and social situations.

I have an acquaintance who is a 9th grade dropout because of learning disabilities that could not be handled when she was young. I think she's about 50 now. We have now reached the point where she will ask questions about grammar and spelling and when I see that slightly confused look on her face when I use an unfamiliar word, I repeat it and then she repeats it until she gets it right. Then I define it for her and next we attempt the spelling part.. It's hard for her to retain the information but with repetition, she gets it and she will try to use over and over the new words she has learned from me. It's now possible (well, almost) to understand her texts, too.  She tries hard so that brings out the teacher in me and I can see improvement in the year that I've known her. 

For instance, we have confronted the dreaded your/you're situation and conquered it. She now understands that your shows possession and you're means you are and that the apostrophe shows that a letter has been left out. She doesn't get their/there/they're and to/too/two yet, but maybe soon. She learns things as they pop up in her life and not in any organized fashion but she tries to learn something new every time we talk. For my friend, the mispronunciations are the worst part but we just keep repeating them until she gets it and then I reuse those words again to help her retain them. She especially has problems with words that have more than three syllables.  I may be wrong, but I think I can see some improvement in her self image recently. I know that she has lost about 20 pounds and bought new clothes that I also helped her with because she said she can't tell what's good or looks good on her and what does not. 

I would disagree with you on one point (respectfully, of course--lol).  You last words were "understand, then judge". I would say understand but never judge, especially if you've never walked a mile in the other person's shoes.

by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:37 AM

I know i haven't been on in a very long while but i want to message back and say thank you all for the support ladies! 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)