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No, I am not going to make them share their toys.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 77 Replies
1 mom liked this

I watch a friend's son after school during the week. He is picked up after supper. We will call her son Sam.  Sam doesn't really have any respect for other people's property. He has broken things that belong to my husband and I, my kids' toys,  taken things that my husband has left out and lost them. He just won't listen when we tell him to leave something alone or be careful. At seven years old, I don't feel that I should have to follow his every move like a toddler. The last straw was when he broke my son's  brand new toy that he got for his birthday by throwing it against a tree as hard as he could over and over. I ran outside when I heard my son screaming for him to stop. He just would not stop until I went out and yelled for him to cut it out. I told Sam, "from this moment on, you are not allowed to play with any toys at my house that don't belong to you. Someday, when you can respect other people's things, maybe we can try again."

Later, I told his mother, my friend, what happened. I expected her to feel bad that he broke the toy. Instead, she told me that she expected my children to either share their toys or not play with them in front of her son. She got bent out of shape when I said that I was not going to keep my children from playing with their own toys after school, the only time during the week that they could play with them. She said that I was teaching them to be selfish.

They are 7,7, and 9, playing in our fenced in back yard. I should not have to sit outside with them.

So aggravated

 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EarlGrayHot
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:06 PM
15 moms liked this

What a friend.  First-she needs to pay for the broken toy and anything else would be a reasonable gesture.  She's clearly failing her son not to teach him to be careful and respectful.  It's not selfishness, it's a reasonable action so all your things don't get destroyed by this little twerp.  Did you ask him WHY he deliberately broke the toy?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:10 PM

 

Quoting EarlGrayHot:

What a friend.  First-she needs to pay for the broken toy and anything else would be a reasonable gesture.  She's clearly failing her son not to teach him to be careful and respectful.  It's not selfishness, it's a reasonable action so all your things don't get destroyed by this little twerp.  Did you ask him WHY he deliberately broke the toy?

 He said he didn't mean to. I don't know how he couldn't have meant to. I kind of expected her to offer to pay for it, but she didn't . I am regretting saying that I would even do this. I was trying to help her.

tekcrkark
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:14 PM
2 moms liked this
How disrespectful! I would of done the same thing! She is obviously not teaching her son respect.
Sister_Someone
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:31 PM
2 moms liked this

In that situation, I wouldn't either. In fact, I would be making that "friend" pay for the toy her son broke.

Kfdmrw9312
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:49 PM
7 moms liked this

uhhhhh, ok, first of all, there is enough hosility in that post to fill a school bus, lol, second, obviously if the kid doesn't listen at all, and is a complete terror, I would stop babysitting him. Either the mom should get him to be respectful of the rules or find a new caregiver for him.

Side note: you mentioned you should not have to sit outside & supervise the kids (who are 7, 7, and 9) in a fenced yard...I don't know if your own kids are angels, but either way, it's not safe to leave kids of that age outside alone unsupervised, even in a fenced yard. There's too man creeps out there. I really wouldn't continue leaving them alone like that.

Marge2624
by Marge on Oct. 8, 2013 at 5:28 PM
4 moms liked this

I don't think I would continue to watch him.  If he weremy child, I would be apologizing like crazy rather than expect you to continue allowing him to break your childrens toys.

aurorabear
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:03 PM
5 moms liked this

I would not continue to watch him if this is a regular occurance. If you do, I would tell her to bring toys over for him to play with and break, and put them in his own little container marked with his name, that your children are also not allowed to play with. 


Though I think its incredibly wrong for the mother to act like that, and the child to act like that. It is a little unfair to not have anyhting for him to do if you choose to continue to watch him. Having her provide his own personal toys will solve a lot. 

waytomanykids10
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:12 PM
3 moms liked this

 I don't make my kids share their toys either when they have guests over. I have toys that guests can play with.

PinkButterfly66
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:25 PM
6 moms liked this

I would not be watching Sam any more and if it ends the friendship, so be it.  But that is just me.  I cannot abide brats or parents who raise brats.

thatgirl70
by Carin on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:27 PM
4 moms liked this

Then I would tell her politely that you cannot watch her son anymore. She doesn't care enough to teach her son to respect other people's property, then I would not care enough to continue watching. Friendship be damned.

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