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An old high school friend's husband sent me a bunch of flirty messages

Posted by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:25 AM
  • 15 Replies

I liked a picture of her and her husband, and today I opened my Facebook to four flirtatious messages from her husband and a friend a request!

From what I can glean from her Facebook posts, I think he likes to drink. I'm just thinking, I wonder if he realizes that I since I do not know HIM that I know HER. The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that he was drunk.

I declined the friend request and did not respond to the messages. Should I say something to her or just leave it? 

I just left it. I didn't want to embarrass her, and she probably knows her husband isn't the best. No sense in starting trouble. 

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:25 AM
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by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:26 AM
Show her the msgs
by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:42 AM
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lol, i love your name, so what are we saying means it is flirtatious? give an example....for me, if it was very obviously a flirt, i would tell my friend in private, not on facebook,

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:40 PM
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I think you did right to ignore him and the friend request and I would leave it where it is for now. He may have just been drunk and might even be very embarrassed. If he continues, ask him to stop and tell him it's inappropriate and keep that email.  If he gets pushy, then tell your friend.  But until that time, there's no point in adding another problem to her apparently not so great marriage. 

by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 17, 2013 at 2:23 AM
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You need to tell her. 

Trust me when I say that men who start something on the internet are more than willing to finish it up in person. With many people. 

And the problem is that, even though you may feel shitty about telling her, adding to her problems, whatever, you will save her one BIG problem. That is, the possibility that her husband might bring home a lovely venereal disease to her. 

Fortunately mine was not that serious, but it really sucks to find out later that someone knew what your husband was doing and didn't tell you to 'spare your feelings.' Later when I talked to that person, I was like, "Well, you spared my feelings, but hurt my vagina. Next time, just tell me. I deserve all the facts. I even deserve the rumors, so that I can make up my own mind."

by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:13 AM

if you are still pals, then i guess ya gotta. if you're not? i'd just bitchslap the hubby hardcore. and i'd be crazy mean. that way he'd get the message loud and clear, and if she ever saw your messages? she'd KNOW.

by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 17, 2013 at 5:21 AM
I would tell her
by Casey on Oct. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM

Leave it alone. Nothing but trouble.

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by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 10:59 AM
Well, I think it's crappy what he's doing to his wife and I think she should probably know because he's probably not just sending you messages he's probably sending other women messages too. She may already have a clue and you telling her may just confirmed that she already knows. Or be the proof she needs.
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 12:20 PM
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I'm afraid this is one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations.  

I would butt out simply because it's my way to do that rather than contribute to drama if I have a choice.  But if he's a drunk and a flirt there has probably already been lots of drama.  I do believe the wife has a right to know what he's doing but the chances are good that she probably already knows that.  Drinkers aren't usually the most discrete people. Since she's still with him, she may have just accepted his obnoxious behavior and decided to look the other way. How old is this couple? Older people tend to  look the other way more often than younger ones.

If you put it in front of her face (again?) the humiliation may be too much for her to continue to be friends with you. She might decide she's better off putting up with him for whatever reasons and letting you go.  If that's the case, I guess you haven't lost much.

Any more messages from him today?

by Bronze Member on Oct. 17, 2013 at 12:21 PM
Yes as her friend she needs to know what her man is doing.
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