Would you ever have the "balls" to add additional guests to a wedding you were invited to?
My brother is getting married in January. They recently sent out their invitations so they are now starting to receive the responses back. So far two different people invited have added additional guests to their invite responses. One was a child. The other was a mother-in-law of an uncle.
My brother is paying for the entire wedding himself as well as the honeymoon. He is busting his butt working overtime and picking up odd end jobs here and there right now to give his fiance they wedding she wants so he is trying to keep the guest list down and I know that he had to leave some of his own friends and co-workers off the invite list to keep the headcount responsible because both sides have large families.
He called me today in a panic saying he doesn't know what to do because he can't have these extra people that were never invited or counted show up to the wedding because they were invited by another guest. The one who is bringing her child is a friend of his. Her parents live close by and constantly help her and are able to watch her child so there is no reason for her to bring her child. No other children were invited, why does she assume she is an exception? I have 3 kids myself. They will be walking in the ceremony but I have no intention bringing them to the reception and making my brother pay for them to eat $50 kids meals. I have never taken my kids to a wedding, I just don't think it is a place for young children. That is just my opinion.
The second is an uncle (on his 3rd wife btw!) who added his mother in law to his response card. Are you kidding me? My brother does not know our uncle's wife's mother and there is no reason my uncle should think it is ok to just go ahead and bring her and expect my bother to pay for another meal and open bar for someone he has never met. I was floored when he told me that!
I told him he needs to reach out and just be honest and say listen, we had a guest list, and budget that we are sticking to and I am sorry, but we can not accommodate the extra guests you are inviting on your own.
For goodness sakes, this is a wedding, not a backyard BBQ!
Am I over reacting (on his behalf, lol) or is this a normal thing now? People inviting their own extra people to other people's weddings now a days?
Thoughts on how my poor brother should handle this?
Thanks in advance for your responses.
***UPDATE: Thank you ALL for responding :)
As far as my Uncle, he is a jack*ss, that is all I have to say. He never called and asked or mentioned anything to my father (he is my dad's older brother), that is just the way he is. He assumes he can do what he wants so I think he will be surprised when my brother stands up to him and says no. My brother and soon to be sister in law made the invitations out to Mr. and Mrs. so and so and single people were given a guest. But to add a 3rd person to an invite for a married couple is just absurd. I can't believe how many other people stated in the comments that this happened to. Just wow, the audacity of the some people now a days.
The kids thing...it is a night reception, open bar, and to me and them does not seem like an appropriate environment for younger children. I know that I don't want to have to chase my kids around late at night after they should be in bed. I want to be able to have a couple drinks, mingle and enjoy a "night out" so to speak. He understands out of town guests and children can sometimes not be avoided...but his friend lives in town and has her mother available to watch her child. So he is not sure why she marked that she was bringing her kid.
Thanks again for everyones imput and stories!
***UPDATE #2*** For the few who said to just let the MIL come because the venue won't notice one extra person. The reason it is such a big deal is because It's a sit down dinner with assigned seating...so everything would need to be rearranged for this uninvited guest, another meal ordered, as well as being charged for another head for open bar whether she drinks or not.
Thanks again to all who responded :)