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Am I nuts, here?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

Ok, I've been a SAHM for about a year now. I quit because we were losing our free babysitting, and because I went back to school. I go every other weekend, and we have to drive back home, about 3 hours south for me to go. 

So we recently moved up to a large metro area, and it's way more expensive to live up here. We did just fine down south on one salary, but up here it's tight. I've cut out almost all discretionary spending, but my husband still goes to lunch a few times a week with coworkers, still has little 'mystery packages' arrive every couple of weeks (stuff for his horn, or music related), and still goes out for beers once a week or so. 

And even so, he still complains about how close we're cutting it, dipping into savings, etc. The next thing I can do is start cutting back on groceries. I mean, yeah, I buy snacks and I like to bake, but I'm not out buying exotic or expensive ingredients all the time. 

So I told him the other night I was thinking about getting a job at Target or someplace, part time over the holiday. And he said no! He's got some time off coming up, and plus he doesn't want to have to 'deal with the kids' 3-4 nights a week for an extra $500 or so a month. Um, excuse me, but you're bitching and saying every little bit we can cut back helps, without actually cutting anything back. And I can't cut back any more. 

Is it insane of me to think that the best thing in this situation would be to bring in some extra cash, even at his inconvenience? 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:46 PM
Don't get another job, don't cut back either. I think he needs to make the changes ( lunches, beers, "mystery packages ").
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Seems to me hubby needs to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. Make a budget and show him there is no room for his extravagances if he won't let you work and you feel you want to start contributing so things are not so hard on your family. Explain that it will be a "sacrifice" to watch the kids, but they are his to, and that's another way he can contribute. I don't think he will make changes unless the facts really hit him in the face.

by Casey on Oct. 25, 2013 at 7:40 AM

Get the part time job, if it will help your family. You are doing what is best for your kids. Screw what he says, if he's that paranoid about money he'll end up thanking you. At least go as far as filling out an application. He can handle the kids 3-4 nights a week, it just isn't ideal for him. 

by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 7:44 AM

No it isn't insane,these days you have to do all you can do to make an extra buck or two. I would tell him to get over it ,it's just during the holidays.

by New Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 8:20 AM

If you want to work, then get a job.  Tell him to shut the hell up and take care of his own kids.  You're doing it and there is absolutely no reason he can't take care of them, too.

by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 11:25 AM
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First off he told you NO! That would be my husband's first mistake. Write down your budget and show him what he is spending on his nonessential crap and ask him where he would like to find the extra money from. The I don't want to take care of the kids 3-4 nights a week, huh that would of done it for me right there. I would of been out finding me the first job available. He doesn't want to take care of his own children, lol I'll be damned.
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Tell him to cut back on his hobbies or you are getting a job. Simple.

by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:14 PM

Just tell him he needs to cut his spending or you will have to get a job, also they are his kids too. My so who is not my kids' bio dad keeps them whenever he is not working and I want to do something. For those who care my dh passed away a years ago when my youngest was 3 months old. I have been with so for a couple years. He even took a week off of work to watch the 2nd youngest so I could stay at the hospital with my youngest.

He needs to man up!!!

by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:36 PM
Have you told him that he keeps saying you need to cut back but he's the one still spending? If he doesn't want you to get a job then he needs to stop the spending. If he doesn't stop then get a job.
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 2:29 PM

Lay out the budget and show him the best way to cut back. Which would obviously be the dining out.

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