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You're not better than I am just because you're a single mom!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

One of my friends has this idea that she's somehow better than me or her other married friends because she's doing it all solo. Now, I give her props for handling things on her own fairly well, but she wouldn't be single if she didn't have 5 kids by 5 different men, with no more than a 3yr age difference between them (most are only around a year). All 5 guys were married or in committed relationships with other women when she had sex with them and only 1 of the 5 gives her anything for child support - and that's not much. So, yes, she has to make ends meet herself and does, but she wouldn't be in that position if she'd made better choices.

I don't think she's superior to anyone else because of that fact, especially when I and a few others are married but also do 99% of the childrearing and such ourselves because our spouses are deployed overseas.

What do you think? Does being a single parent make you better than others, or just different?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Replies (301-310):
WesAndNicksMom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 7:48 AM
I absolutely hate single parenting so I would never think I was better than someone because of it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 60 on Dec. 4, 2013 at 9:41 AM

It does not make a parent BETTER just because they do it on their own all the time or part time (when they kids are with the other parent). It sounds like you are at least a better person than her, since she is just sleeping with married or guys who are "taken".

Anonymous
by Anonymous 38 on Dec. 7, 2013 at 8:03 AM
Any working mom can need help with things sometimes. Don't any of the married mothers in your community work? Most of my friends do so ride sharing for kids' practices are common.

Quoting Anonymous: Interesting, I'm a single Mom of an adopted son, and perhaps b/c I live in a very traditional Midwestern upper class neighborhood, I feel I'm judged and that married woman feel they are better than me and that I always need rescuing. Grant it, I sometimes need help, as I work full time but I do hold my own. Very true "its just a lifestyle."
Anonymous
by Anonymous 38 on Dec. 7, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Married moms don't necessarily have someone paying their expenses. I work to pay expenses. It's not spending money. I can't disagree that any single income home may have challenges, or any family for that matter, and that equal pay standards aren't necessarily put into practice. Financial stress sucks. Im sorry you experienced it. But, all the single moms I know get assistance while we pay out of pocket and so they actually do have someone paying their bills (not too mention child support), while work to pay mine (and theirs through the taxes I pay and charities I donate to).

Quoting slapdashmom:




Quoting Anonymous:

I'd like to remind single moms that there are a lot of married moms who do everything they are doing as a result of dh work (such as travel, military service, etc.)



False.

They're not doing EVERYTHING that a single mom is doing. They have someone paying their bills. HUGE difference. I know the biggest stress for me as a single mom was finances.

Whatthe172
by on Dec. 14, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Sounds like the she's pulling a classic, I'll make myself better if I put others down.  With the track record listed she has NOTHING to brag about.  Not only does she have no conscience or morals, she has no self respect and her kids will suffer most. I'd bet you money she's probably hit on your husband as well and if she hasn't it is a miracle.  With this friend watch your back.


withsecond
by on Dec. 14, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I've been both. Each has its own difficulties. Neither is better than the other.
I'm curious why you want to be friends with someone like that? She sleeps with married men and puts down her married friends.
bjw_053109
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 11:04 PM

As a divorced single mom. No being a single mother does not mean a better or superior mother. Our situations are just different than those of married mothers. But then again all situations are different.

bjw_053109
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 Maybe all the single moms you know. But not all of us single moms are getting assistance OR child support. Some of us really are doing it all ourselves.

Quoting Anonymous: Married moms don't necessarily have someone paying their expenses. I work to pay expenses. It's not spending money. I can't disagree that any single income home may have challenges, or any family for that matter, and that equal pay standards aren't necessarily put into practice. Financial stress sucks. Im sorry you experienced it. But, all the single moms I know get assistance while we pay out of pocket and so they actually do have someone paying their bills (not too mention child support), while work to pay mine (and theirs through the taxes I pay and charities I donate to).

Quoting slapdashmom:

 

 


Quoting Anonymous:

I'd like to remind single moms that there are a lot of married moms who do everything they are doing as a result of dh work (such as travel, military service, etc.)

 


False.

They're not doing EVERYTHING that a single mom is doing. They have someone paying their bills. HUGE difference. I know the biggest stress for me as a single mom was finances.

 

TurtleMami
by Member on Dec. 29, 2013 at 12:10 AM

Your friend is a ho fo sho.

MamaToGirls
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 7:09 PM

I have been a mother who was married WHILE my husband was deployed, a SAHM, and a single mother. I will say that a mother is a mother as long as she is doing EVERYTHING she should be doing as a mother. I do not find single mothers stronger, but I will disagree on some comments speaking of how married women are the same as single moms depending on the circumstances. That is not true by any means. I could not say the above if I didn't have actual knowledge. You may do most by yourself, but you still have that extra to fall back on.

I think that your friend's statement about single mothers being stronger is false. It does take a lot to be a single mother and figure out how to do everything on your own, but it takes a lot to handle your children and a husband as well.

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