I will try to get my point across as quickly as I can but bear with me this may be long winded! First off, my ex and I share our daughter 50/50 and we have gotten along great this way for the past six years. For the last two almost three years he has been in a relationship and last year they were married. Everything was great and we all get along and communicate about DD. I just feel that SM is starting to get more and more controlling over matters that should be for me and DD's father to be concerned with. She is always making a mountain out of a molehill on small issues. she has no children of her own but ex has another daughter and her and SM get along fine...there is some favoritism in their house with the two girls. DD comes home and says SM is always yelling at her and she can't do anything right when she is there. Se said one time out camping that SM grabber her by the arm and tried to drag her to the next camper because she got mad at her. Well first off, I don't like that she thinks she can touch that little girl at all. At some point she should step back and let her father deal with the issue. Am I wrong? Recently she signed and returned the appointment slip for parent teacher conferences at school and didn't bother to tell me a date or time for my own daughters meeting.( of course I was on top of my game and made sure I found out when it was so I didn't miss it!) but I don't even like the idea that she is signing school slips and things like that, I think that is her fathers responsibility. If she helps her with homework and signs off on it that's fine but report cards and permission slips should go through her dad. Lately the communication is lacking and it seems they ignore more calls and texts then I need to count and then have some excuse y he forgot to reply or his phone died. It just seems like he cannot make a move without running it past SM first. DD said she asked her dad if she could wear her new earrings she had gotten from me and he told her she had to ask SM...and was was told no. Why on earth does an 8 year old need to ask permission to change her earrings?! And why can't her dad give her an answer without asking "the boss"?! Where is the line that a step parent just needs to step back and decide it's not their place?? I sometimes just want to tell her to quit playing house with my DD because she already has a mommy! That seems very childish of me and I really want to find a mature way to address this issue without ending up with everyone getting hurt feelings. I really like the fact that we all get along and can show up at school programs and sporting events and act like civilized adults and not have any of that awkward tension between us. SM family adores DD and that is so great! But somehow SM thinks that her family is entitled to time with DD and in return her biological grandparents are on the other end feeling hurt because DD couldn't come have a sleepover because it doesn't fit into SM's plans. They went out if town and DD got to come home for a couple days during her dads week. He didn't feel well when they dropped her off so SM brought her to the door and had the nerve to tell me "thanks for taking her!" She is mine dammit of course I want her here! That's some more of the mommy instinct, claws out kind of behavior I have been feeling lately lol!