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is it rude to ask for cash instead of gifts?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 118 Replies

 

Poll

Question: is it rude to ask guests for money instead of gifts???

Options:

yes

no

other, please explain


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Total Votes: 202

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me and my fiance are getting married in about a year and a half and as we were talking about registries his mother brought up what i think is a great idea but im not sure if its okay to ask our guests. we are planning on buying a house the year after we get married so his mother's idea was that we should ask for monitary gifts instead of your typical wedding gifts so that we can save a little more money for our downpayment. so my question to you ladies is if you think it is rude or tacky to ask for money instead of gifts and if we should explain to people why we would prefer money?

 

so the general idea is that it is a big no no, and i had thought it didnt sound right to ask for cash, or even askin for anything in general. if people wnt to give us anything they can if not then they wont whether we ask for anything or not. i just didnt want to tell my future MIL that the idea was out of the question when she seemed to think it was a great idea (she says she asked for monetary gifts at her wedding) so i figured i would ask here and get an idea of what other people thought.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:28 AM
12 moms liked this
I think it's tacky. I say don't register and hope people realize you'd prefer money. It's not your wedding guests responsibility to help pay for your house.
TatyBear
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:28 AM
3 moms liked this
Lots of people ask for money instead of gifts. I don't see an issue with it.

You don't need 10 blenders and 6 coffee pots. Lol

Every wedding I went to was cash gifts. As long as you don't set an amount like nothing under $300 or something. Some people can't afford much, so should be able to give as much or as little as they desire. Kwim?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:46 AM

 


Quoting TatyBear:

Lots of people ask for money instead of gifts. I don't see an issue with it.

You don't need 10 blenders and 6 coffee pots. Lol

Every wedding I went to was cash gifts. As long as you don't set an amount like nothing under $300 or something. Some people can't afford much, so should be able to give as much or as little as they desire. Kwim?


 i wouldnt put an amount, i know some of my friends cant afford much so im not expecting a ton of money. i think it may be easier for some people because instead of trying to find something cheap and nice and get wrapping paper and all that nonsense they could just throw $10 in a card or envelope and be done with it. i always do cash and gift cards for holidys and birthdays for everyone except my kids and fiance because it is easier

TatyBear
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:50 AM
I agree.it is easier.

I have always been glad and relieved to go to cash.weddings. I never know what to buy. Lol




Quoting Anonymous:

 




Quoting TatyBear:

Lots of people ask for money instead of gifts. I don't see an issue with it.

You don't need 10 blenders and 6 coffee pots. Lol

Every wedding I went to was cash gifts. As long as you don't set an amount like nothing under $300 or something. Some people can't afford much, so should be able to give as much or as little as they desire. Kwim?



 i wouldnt put an amount, i know some of my friends cant afford much so im not expecting a ton of money. i think it may be easier for some people because instead of trying to find something cheap and nice and get wrapping paper and all that nonsense they could just throw $10 in a card or envelope and be done with it. i always do cash and gift cards for holidys and birthdays for everyone except my kids and fiance because it is easier


marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:54 AM
4 moms liked this
It's trashy but seems to be the way the entitlement generation is going. Since wedding gifts are for people who shouldn't be living together already that's why people register. To buy your household items. They should not buy your down payment on a house.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
indymom72
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:59 AM
4 moms liked this

I think its tacky.  I wouldnt take that advice to not register because then people will go rogue and get you horrible stuff that you are just going to have to waste time taking back.

HIJKLM
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I do think it is rude but it's becoming more common and acceptable. If you do ask, absolutely give and explanation of why, it makes it slightly less rude.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this
To be blunt, do you *really* not care how much they put in? I've seen so many brides here come back to complain that they weren't even given enough money in the envelope to cover the guest's plate at the reception. people tend to tighten their wallet when you tell them what you want them to give you. We give the most when nothing is asked for at all.

Quoting Anonymous:

 




Quoting TatyBear:

Lots of people ask for money instead of gifts. I don't see an issue with it.

You don't need 10 blenders and 6 coffee pots. Lol

Every wedding I went to was cash gifts. As long as you don't set an amount like nothing under $300 or something. Some people can't afford much, so should be able to give as much or as little as they desire. Kwim?



 i wouldnt put an amount, i know some of my friends cant afford much so im not expecting a ton of money. i think it may be easier for some people because instead of trying to find something cheap and nice and get wrapping paper and all that nonsense they could just throw $10 in a card or envelope and be done with it. i always do cash and gift cards for holidys and birthdays for everyone except my kids and fiance because it is easier

lapcounter
by Gold Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this
This.

Quoting cjsmom1:

I think it's tacky. I say don't register and hope people realize you'd prefer money. It's not your wedding guests responsibility to help pay for your house.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:30 AM
5 moms liked this
Very tacky. Don't do it. I would not even attend a wedding id someone said cash only gifts.
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