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I lied about the goldfish

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies
My 3 year old's goldfish died and I lied. I panicked and got rid of it before she could see it. She immediately noticed it was gone and I told her her he hadn't been feeling well so he went back to the fish store to live with the other fishies and feel better. She was dissapointed for a few minutes but has since forgotten. I've glossed over other opportunities to explain death as well. Where is Bambie's mama? She's in the woods. When we encounter dead bugs, I say they are sleeping. I didnt realize i had such an issue wtells planning death until I caught myself lying so many times. She is bright and I don't want to cause fear or confusion. I need to tell the truth eventually but I feel age 3 is too young. Is it????Any opinions welcome and I am sorry about the goldfish.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2013 at 12:13 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 18, 2013 at 12:16 AM
*explaining*
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 18, 2013 at 1:56 AM

I lied to DD all the time when it comes to that stuff.  I dont want my daughter to have a major melt down and to stop it from happening you just tell a small lie that they will be happy with.  your DD is 3, she doesn't necessarily need to know about death yet.   Now if it was a family member then thats a different story.  My g-ma died when DD was 4 and i then explained to her, she was sad but I had to tell her why she couldn't see great g-ma anymore.    

cindilou13
by Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it's too young to explain it in an age-appropriate way.  I'm a firm believer in kids being told the truth-even if a simplified/less emotional version of it-regardless of age.  Death is a part of life, and kids need to know that. Learning it simply-and about a goldfish rather than a relative-would actually make it easier to explain/comprehend/handle later on I would think, I know it worked that way with my son when my grandmother died when he was a toddler.

And never use the term 'put them to sleep'  or 'went to sleep and won't/never/didn't wake up" to explain the euthanization of a pet/or death of a person (even if they died in their sleep), because kids do take things very literally and some develop fears of going to sleep after that!

aimeerd
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 11:12 AM
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I never lied to my son. Death as hard as it is, is a part of life. Are new puppy Wyatt's sister Lady passed away a week ago and my son was so sad but as sad as he was I know that he needed to know that death happens. I told him that its ok to be sad and to cry. He also know that my sister died and he know that he's Grandfathers mother died. Although he is not sad about them because he did not know them that well. My sister died when I was pregnant with him and his grandpas mother he was not close with her. He knows that death means no longer here.

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