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Should single parents give up relationships and intimacy? *New question for people who said yes*

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I often see people saying single parents should put of dating until their child is an adult. 

I was wondering how many people agree?

If you do agree with this why? And what do you suggest single parents do to fill the void of an adult relationship.


I happen to totally disagree.  I think that is VERY harsh and unrealistic. For some parents, that means going 18+ years without companionship. Adults need emotional/physical intimacy and I find it unreasonable to expect people to go so long without it. I think parents can keep their dating life separate from their children. Dating doesn't mean there has to be a revolving door of different men and women coming in and out of their lives, like some people tend to assume.



What say you?



P.S I though about asking this in the single mother's board, but I wanted answers from a wider range of people.

by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 6:13 PM
Replies (41-50):
Broken2012
by Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 4:31 PM
2 moms liked this

Not to mention how awkward dating will be after going that long without any type for relationship. What man would want to date a woman nearing menopause who hasn't had sex in 20 years? It would be like dating a teen  trying out dating the first time. Just ugh. 

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 24, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Or girlfriends! It goes both ways! Sadly!

Quoting Anonymous:

Date without bringing them around the children till it is serious. Don't risk your kids though. WAY too many boyfriends abuse kids. Proven fact.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 24, 2013 at 4:35 PM
2 moms liked this
Well I dated when my son was young! Glad I did, I've been married for 17yrs! I can't imagine NOT being with my husband&also having more children!
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 24, 2013 at 4:39 PM
This made me giggle!
My best friend insisted she had to wait till her daughter grew up to date&now her daughter is 18 and she has been dating since 9th or 10th grade? While best friend literally has no social life, he daughter's father has been married for 7yrs+! She is so lonely! I feel bad for her! My DH&I have set her up on blind dates!


Quoting AJsMom81507:

i do peapod, i have a maid, i shop online

so youre saying i should remain celibate and a nun until my kids are out of my house?

my STBXH has them 3 full weekends a month and 1 day a week.

so in a full month i have them 1 weekend a month and during the week while they are in school

SMH at your thinking

Quoting anotherguatmom:

I have to agree.  When you have children you put them ahead of your own needs.  I don't understand how a single parent would have the time for someone else in their life.  If your kids are with the other parent that should be your time to clean, shop, work extra hours etc. so that when you have your kids you can give them the quality time they need and deserve.   I'm saying ths as a child of a single parent that decide to have relationships.  


Fields456
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 4:50 PM
1 mom liked this
To each their own. I'm glad I was still able to balance being a single mom and still do things for myself if I would have just sat around when my daughter wasn't here I would not have met my amazing husband and had my DS. We will celebrate our 4 th anniversary next month
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AJsMom81507
by Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 5:19 PM

that is sad, there are ways to balance ones life and still put your children 1st.  lol

Quoting Hottmomma607:

This made me giggle!
My best friend insisted she had to wait till her daughter grew up to date&now her daughter is 18 and she has been dating since 9th or 10th grade? While best friend literally has no social life, he daughter's father has been married for 7yrs+! She is so lonely! I feel bad for her! My DH&I have set her up on blind dates!


Quoting AJsMom81507:

i do peapod, i have a maid, i shop online

so youre saying i should remain celibate and a nun until my kids are out of my house?

my STBXH has them 3 full weekends a month and 1 day a week.

so in a full month i have them 1 weekend a month and during the week while they are in school

SMH at your thinking

Quoting anotherguatmom:

I have to agree.  When you have children you put them ahead of your own needs.  I don't understand how a single parent would have the time for someone else in their life.  If your kids are with the other parent that should be your time to clean, shop, work extra hours etc. so that when you have your kids you can give them the quality time they need and deserve.   I'm saying ths as a child of a single parent that decide to have relationships.  



Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 24, 2013 at 5:59 PM
I totally agree!

Quoting AJsMom81507:

that is sad, there are ways to balance ones life and still put your children 1st.  lol

Quoting Hottmomma607:

This made me giggle!

My best friend insisted she had to wait till her daughter grew up to date&now her daughter is 18 and she has been dating since 9th or 10th grade? While best friend literally has no social life, he daughter's father has been married for 7yrs+! She is so lonely! I feel bad for her! My DH&I have set her up on blind dates!




Quoting AJsMom81507:

i do peapod, i have a maid, i shop online

so youre saying i should remain celibate and a nun until my kids are out of my house?

my STBXH has them 3 full weekends a month and 1 day a week.

so in a full month i have them 1 weekend a month and during the week while they are in school

SMH at your thinking

Quoting anotherguatmom:

I have to agree.  When you have children you put them ahead of your own needs.  I don't understand how a single parent would have the time for someone else in their life.  If your kids are with the other parent that should be your time to clean, shop, work extra hours etc. so that when you have your kids you can give them the quality time they need and deserve.   I'm saying ths as a child of a single parent that decide to have relationships.  



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2013 at 6:00 PM
True but way more men.


Quoting Hottmomma607:

Or girlfriends! It goes both ways! Sadly!



Quoting Anonymous:

Date without bringing them around the children till it is serious. Don't risk your kids though. WAY too many boyfriends abuse kids. Proven fact.

Broken2012
by Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:25 AM


This is depressing. My worst fear.

Quoting Hottmomma607:

This made me giggle!
My best friend insisted she had to wait till her daughter grew up to date&now her daughter is 18 and she has been dating since 9th or 10th grade? While best friend literally has no social life, he daughter's father has been married for 7yrs+! She is so lonely! I feel bad for her! My DH&I have set her up on blind dates!


Quoting AJsMom81507:

i do peapod, i have a maid, i shop online

so youre saying i should remain celibate and a nun until my kids are out of my house?

my STBXH has them 3 full weekends a month and 1 day a week.

so in a full month i have them 1 weekend a month and during the week while they are in school

SMH at your thinking

Quoting anotherguatmom:

I have to agree.  When you have children you put them ahead of your own needs.  I don't understand how a single parent would have the time for someone else in their life.  If your kids are with the other parent that should be your time to clean, shop, work extra hours etc. so that when you have your kids you can give them the quality time they need and deserve.   I'm saying ths as a child of a single parent that decide to have relationships.  




baileymarie723
by Member on Nov. 25, 2013 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you. If I had waited until my daughter was an adult, she would have spent her whole life without a consistant father figure in her life. My husband is a wonderful stepdad to my daughter (she actually considers him her dad because her "sperm donor isn't around). He would like to adopt her at some point if we can work it out.
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