Some beauty trends are enduring and forever and make
total sense. Lipstick? Timeless and forever. Hair dye? On par with the
wheel for best invention ever. But others are, let's just say, freaking
INSANE? Like what is that whole thigh gap thing about? And tattoos on your face?
Just say no fucking way! Can't say I'm much for piercings anywhere but
the ears either. But this weird beauty trend must win some kind of an
award for most ridiculous, unneeded, and dangerous ... jewelry inside your eyeball!
Women are apparently now paying as much as $3,000 to have their eyeball slit open -- and a piece of jewelry planted in their eye. Dr. Emil Chynn, who has already made headlines for being a creepy dude who offers free Lasik surgery to anyone who can introduce him to the woman of his (deluded) specifications, just did the first eye jewelry implant in New York City.
Chynn's first client, a Russian woman, had a platinum star implanted in her eye. Her reason for getting the bling implant? "It will be a conversation maker," she says. Really? You can't just read the newspaper or something?
Not surprisingly, the American Academy of Ophthalmology thinks this is a terrible idea and is warning people to avoid the surgery since it's not approved by the FDA. And besides that, it just looks completely stupid. Dr. Chynn, however, swears it's safe -- despite admitting that the implant could cause infection, make your eye bleed, and make you look like you've been punched in the eye. Err. Still not sold.
And no, it's not like contacts. Although Chynn says the jewelry is not inside the eyeball, he does make an incision there. And the eyeball is numbed.
It's always amazing to me what various societies will suddenly decide makes a woman beautiful -- and how it differs so much in each society that whatever another culture is doing is considered absurd. In Africa, for instance, women put rings around their necks to elongate them. The longer the neck, the more beautiful the woman.
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Seems rather bizarre, but how is that any worse than Western women who get breast implants so big they can hardly move, or who obsess about the inch of space between their thighs to the point where they're willing to starve themselves to death to get it?
Now we have someone making an actual slit in your eye so that a tiny piece of jewelry can be inserted -- for what purpose? So that someone staring deep into your eyes can comment, "Nice platinum star, where'd you get it?"
Women, please stop the madness.
Would you get eye jewelry?