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WWYD?? My 16yo is dating a 40yo!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 443 Replies
1 mom liked this

My 16yo has always been a major hellcat and has given my husband and me more grief than we care to remember, but in the last 3mos she has become a joy to be around. She helps with stuff around the house, makes dinner sometimes, her grades have gone up from C's and D's to A's and B's, and she has a generally pleasant attitude about everything whereas before she hated us, the world, school, life, etc. It's been so nice I haven't wanted to delve into why, but I finally sat down with her last night to ask her why the turnaround?

Her answer, "Oh, Mom, I'm in LOVE! I've had crushes before, you know, but this guy, he's just so totally different. He opens doors for me, pulls out chairs for me, looks at me when I'm talking, listens to me, and just treats me like a QUEEN! I just love him so much!" I was really happy for her until she said, "But... I'm not sure you and Dad will like him."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "He's, well, older."
Me: *GULP!* "How old?"
Her: "Um, 40."
Me: "WHAT??"

Turns out the guy is one of hubby's football buddies. He's been to the house several times, they talked and got along great (of course, they did, *snort*), and they started dating. She says they haven't had sex yet but I don't believe that for a minute, and OMG, he's 40?? But she is so completely different, happy, better, than she was before him and I'm scared to make the wrong move here and send her back to behaving like a demon again, or worse, send her running into his arms and lose her for good. What do I do?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Texascandee
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:26 AM
31 moms liked this

My first thought is oh hell no but the thing is, I'm willing to bet they have already had sex and where I am, that's statutory rape and he could go to prison........with that said, it's a hard decision you have to make.  If you tell her she can't see him, you're right, she will probably wind up going to him anyway.  Since he is a friend of your husbands, can your husband talk to him and find out what's going on?

Sorry momma, hard situation to be in and you're stuck in a hard place.  I wish you luck and please update on the result

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:26 AM
4 moms liked this
Yikes.mI'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe husband can talk to the guy and see what his intentions are? And really....what's wrong with a man that dates a 16 year old?mI'm sure he's physically attracted.....but beyond that......????
supermama322
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:27 AM
Idk what I'd do. It's legal here so nothing in that way. I'd have to be in the situation I think. I just don't know
Cindy18
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:31 AM
8 moms liked this
If he is a buddy of your husband, talk to HIM!
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Erica246
by on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:33 AM

What does your husband think about it?

wickedstepjenn
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I think I'd probably flip out. But! I'm kicking myself saying this. Maybe it will just fizzle out once they aee over the puppy love stage. I don't know... honestly I'd flip out sigh.
Kitty_Myrick
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:34 AM
19 moms liked this

Take the risk and call the cops. I would do it in a hart beat.

hugs

srm8824
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:35 AM
2 moms liked this

Oh wow. Idk, if you tell her she can't see him she is going to go against anything you say to her and who knows what this guy is saying to her. I cannot understand how a 40yr old man could be interested in a real relationship with a 16yr old. I can only imagine it has to be about sex, seriously, what could they even have in common? I don't know how your husband hasn't already given him a piece of his mind!!?

I wish I had some advice. I don't know what to tell you but something obviously has to be done about it, no matter how much she has changed for the better.

jobseeker
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:35 AM
24 moms liked this

i would start with having a discussion with the 40 yr old.  She might be reading more into a friendship than really is happening.  If this isn't the case, then I would smack that old guy in the back of the head and tell him he is no longer welcome in my home, and he needs to stay away from her.

Dee0886
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 11:37 AM
15 moms liked this

She's 16. Lockdown. And DH would have a few words for his "buddy"

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