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The Cafe The Cafe

I won't spend it all in one place! *UPDATED* *UPDATE IN BLUE*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 75 Replies

We are a large italian family and we love to give big gifts to thank our family members on special occasions.

My sister married a man with a lot of money. ive known him most of my life. he's not my fave. unless you have a ton of money, you're useless to him.

hubby and i always give beautiful gifts to them and their children. until now that is....my wedding gift form them was...

"Dear X and X,

You don't owe me the $100 i lent you. That is my gift to you.

Love,

X,X,X, and X"

i know for some this would be a nice gesture... and i should be grateful for anything anyone gives.

*I forgot to mention, at the rehearsal dinner the night beofre, i gave her a coach purse to thank her for everything she did as my matron of honor AND let her know that i'd be paying her back at the post wedding brunch from our wedding cash...i feel that was an extremely important piece i didn't mention* 

*My sister explained to my mom why she gave what she gave...She said her gift to me was being my Matron of Honor* i don't understand that one...she's my only sister! I was hers, and that certainly wasn't my gift to her.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM
2 moms liked this
Don't spend money on a lavish wedding you or your parents can't afford. Not worth it anyway.
dingysfamily
by Suzi on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:06 PM

I'd chalk it up to a lesson learned & be a lot more 'budget conscience' from now now where they are concerned.

srehman
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh-Kay.
First, that was crazy to spend a lot of money. I get it wasn't expected, but didn't you and your dad talk about a budget before the actual wedding and commitments to vendors were decided on?
Second what an ass. You should give him the 100$ and a copy of the note replying back thanks for the gesture, but here's your money. Keep it. You may need it more than we do one day.
Seriously!? Are you for real? If so, the he's an ass and that should be his Xmas present!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:12 PM

 we did discuss...but unforseen circumstances meant he couldn't give what he intended and the commitments were already made. i wish i didn't have this wedding. much smaller would have been lovely. this is how my sister and her husband have been for years eith gifts. i thought they would be more generous for my wedding. but now i see...and it's not even about the money....the note wasn't even nice in the card...at least write something nice!

Quoting srehman: Oh-Kay.
First, that was crazy to spend a lot of money. I get it wasn't expected, but didn't you and your dad talk about a budget before the actual wedding and commitments to vendors were decided on?
Second what an ass. You should give him the 100$ and a copy of the note replying back thanks for the gesture, but here's your money. Keep it. You may need it more than we do one day.
Seriously!? Are you for real? If so, the he's an ass and that should be his Xmas present!

 

Nki92
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:13 PM
1 mom liked this
What a lame gift :/ especially since you give them good gifts and I don't think there's anything wrong with having a fancy huge wedding what girl wouldn't want that as long as it doesn't put you in a hole you can't get out off I mean most big events like that are gonna have some sort of finacial strain on you so yea you had an awesome wedding you enjoyed and the moneys already spend nothing u can do about it nowit and you can always make payment on bills that always makes me feel better when I blow too much money or get too close to maxing out credit cards :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:15 PM

He forgave a debt. Regardless of how much it was, it was a debt. I think that's an okay gift. His delivery wasn't that great, but hey it's better than having to payback that money when you may be strapped for cash after paying for the wedding and all.

srehman
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:18 PM
Yeah, he's an ass just give him the $$ owed and stay out if their life. Not worth it.
Idk about big weddings and all bc we didn't do any of that. We just wanted simple.

Quoting Anonymous:

 we did discuss...but unforseen circumstances meant he couldn't give what he intended and the commitments were already made. i wish i didn't have this wedding. much smaller would have been lovely. this is how my sister and her husband have been for years eith gifts. i thought they would be more generous for my wedding. but now i see...and it's not even about the money....the note wasn't even nice in the card...at least write something nice!


Quoting srehman: Oh-Kay.
First, that was crazy to spend a lot of money. I get it wasn't expected, but didn't you and your dad talk about a budget before the actual wedding and commitments to vendors were decided on?
Second what an ass. You should give him the 100$ and a copy of the note replying back thanks for the gesture, but here's your money. Keep it. You may need it more than we do one day.
Seriously!? Are you for real? If so, the he's an ass and that should be his Xmas present!

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM

 we were lucky enough to be able to pay off the wedding from the gifts..but now we're back to square one with saving .big weddings generally mean big giffts...which is why i was stunned at the "gift"... especially when they give his side of the family amazing gifts...my husband and i used to give up our date nights to babysit their twins for them so they could enjoy a night out...and they would tell us to bring dinner so they wouldnt have to feed us....he makes almost half a mil a year and he cant get us a pizza?? LOL we wont be going out of our way anymore, that's for sure.

Quoting Nki92: What a lame gift :/ especially since you give them good gifts and I don't think there's anything wrong with having a fancy huge wedding what girl wouldn't want that as long as it doesn't put you in a hole you can't get out off I mean most big events like that are gonna have some sort of finacial strain on you so yea you had an awesome wedding you enjoyed and the moneys already spend nothing u can do about it nowit and you can always make payment on bills that always makes me feel better when I blow too much money or get too close to maxing out credit cards :)

 

withsecond
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 5:23 PM
Well, you don't book things unless you know the person paying for them is okay with it.
I'd never book a venue without knowing it could be paid for and the cost was reasonable.

Also, I think the gift was fine. If that's what they would have paid toward the gift but took it off what you owe them, there's nothing wrong with that.
Nki92
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 6:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow that's pretty pathetic to make that much and they can't even feed you when u watch their kids but I guess now you've really seen his true colors now you know what to do when they ask you for favors :)

Quoting Anonymous:

 we were lucky enough to be able to pay off the wedding from the gifts..but now we're back to square one with saving .big weddings generally mean big giffts...which is why i was stunned at the "gift"... especially when they give his side of the family amazing gifts...my husband and i used to give up our date nights to babysit their twins for them so they could enjoy a night out...and they would tell us to bring dinner so they wouldnt have to feed us....he makes almost half a mil a year and he cant get us a pizza?? LOL we wont be going out of our way anymore, that's for sure.


Quoting Nki92: What a lame gift :/ especially since you give them good gifts and I don't think there's anything wrong with having a fancy huge wedding what girl wouldn't want that as long as it doesn't put you in a hole you can't get out off I mean most big events like that are gonna have some sort of finacial strain on you so yea you had an awesome wedding you enjoyed and the moneys already spend nothing u can do about it nowit and you can always make payment on bills that always makes me feel better when I blow too much money or get too close to maxing out credit cards :)

 

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