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The Cafe The Cafe

She's a F***** IDIOT!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies

OK, maybe not a F****** idiot, but not the brightest....

A girl from the office i recently left got engaged. For the last six months she has been telling me she's been nagging her BF to propose. He wanted to wait until he got his drinking under control. (She kept finding vodka bottles around the apartment). I spoke to her quietly and let her know that she's asking for a lifetime of hardships with this guy.

Over time, i kept hearing talk about taking Oxies, Xanex, and other similar pills she takes throughout the day. So now you have an alcoholic and an addict the RX meds. And she got off her BC because she wants to get pregnant ASAP (This make incredibly sad for any child they may conceieve)

He proposed on Friday and i just can't bring myself to congratulate her. She is sending out the Save the Dates soon and i just don't think I can go.

At the same time, I know it's not my life and i already told her my opinion, which she honestly didn't ask for in the first place, but told me she appreciated.

Should i still go to this wedding since she's happy and just support her?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2013 at 3:46 AM
3 moms liked this

Tough question, I guess it would depend upon how close you feel to her. I would support a close friend, and many of the people I work with. (I work in a small group). 

Ultimately, I'd say, follow your instincts. 

Honeygator
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 10:24 AM

You left the office, so you won't be in daily contact with her ever again. She has WAY too much chaos in her life. I just don't see this as a close relationship that will last forever. I think you're very compassionate and empathetic, but do you really want to invest time in people like this?

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Of course go and support her not your life !

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 10:33 AM
If you like her as a person and coworker, go ahead. The invitation is not about your approval.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:47 PM

 It was a very small office and all the girls talked, got lunch, and sometimes we catch up for dinner. she's not my favofrite person. she's more entertaining than anything else with her funny stories. i just don't want to snub her, but i also find it an extremely sad situation to see two addicts marry who arent even recovering, but in the midst of their addictions.

Quoting Anonymous:

Tough question, I guess it would depend upon how close you feel to her. I would support a close friend, and many of the people I work with. (I work in a small group). 

Ultimately, I'd say, follow your instincts. 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:48 PM

I know it's not about my approval. It's just a very sad situation. You're watching two people join lives who are both in the middle of very serious addictions. whether i go or not doesn't make or break their relationship...it's just going to be a very sad 5-7 hours.

Quoting EireLass: If you like her as a person and coworker, go ahead. The invitation is not about your approval.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:50 PM

I know it's not. It's just a very sad situation to see two addicts joining their lives. I might just send a gift. It's not my life, but at our dinners we hear about the struggles of both of their addictions. Not that my presence will change this. It's just sad.

Quoting nurse1997:

Of course go and support her not your life !

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:53 PM

 Truthfully, i don't invest much time in her as it is. We meet with the girls from the office from time to time to catch up. I feel for this girl and her Fiance. She's trying to get him help for his drinking, but she won't admit her own addiction, which is scary. I tried gently explaining her RX habits, but she laughs and brushes it off, telling me im too uptight. Which i very well may be, but i care for her life and only mean well.

Im thinking of sending a gift and not attending. It just makes me so sad. I am from a family who has a history of addiction and marrying the wrong people who enabled them, and to witness the beginning makes me incredibly sad.

Quoting Honeygator:

You left the office, so you won't be in daily contact with her ever again. She has WAY too much chaos in her life. I just don't see this as a close relationship that will last forever. I think you're very compassionate and empathetic, but do you really want to invest time in people like this?

 

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:53 PM
If it really is too sad in your heart, perhaps you shouldn't go. Sometimes its just best to avoid that which makes us so sad.
Quoting Anonymous:

I know it's not about my approval. It's just a very sad situation. You're watching two people join lives who are both in the middle of very serious addictions. whether i go or not doesn't make or break their relationship...it's just going to be a very sad 5-7 hours.


Quoting EireLass: If you like her as a person and coworker, go ahead. The invitation is not about your approval.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:57 PM
2 moms liked this

 Yes, you are right. I am considering just sending a gift. I come from a family of past addictions and have seen them marry their enablers. I want her to be happy, and most of the time she really is! I just know their addictions are only in the beginning stages and she is in denial about her own. A gift and a nice note might just be the way to go. thank you for your considerate reponse :)

Quoting EireLass: If it really is too sad in your heart, perhaps you shouldn't go. Sometimes its just best to avoid that which makes us so sad.
Quoting Anonymous:

I know it's not about my approval. It's just a very sad situation. You're watching two people join lives who are both in the middle of very serious addictions. whether i go or not doesn't make or break their relationship...it's just going to be a very sad 5-7 hours.


Quoting EireLass: If you like her as a person and coworker, go ahead. The invitation is not about your approval.

 

 

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