Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

Does anybody else ever feel this way?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
First off let me say I love my son more than anything in this world and I don't know what I'd do without him. I know that God blessed me with a beautiful and wonderful little man.

Here's my story...
My son was born at full term. He had used the bathroom in me and it caused some brain damage. The first three weeks of his life he was in the hospital for seizures. They said he possibly has cerebral palsy and could be any where from mentally retarded to normal. He's a year and a half now. He hasn't had anymore seizures. He goes to physical, occupational, and speech therapies. He can't walk. He can sit up but he can't put himself in the position. He can barely crawl and isn't saying anything. I can tell its mostly physical and not so much mental. He knows what he wants and can remember really well. I know it doesn't matter that he has problems. He's wonderful and perfect and I'm just lucky that I got to bring him home cause I know some parents lose their babies.

Why do I feel so sad and unhappy all the time? My baby isnt making me unhappy actually he is the only thing that makes mo happy.
Why do I fell like I missed out on the happiness every other parent has when they have a new little on?
I truly feel like I'm stuck in a hole and the world is just passing by but I can't get out and enjoy life?
I worry all the time if he's gonna have another seizure, is he ever gonna be able to do what other kids do, is he ever gonna be able to tell me he loves me.
I'm just so stressed out all the time and feel like I'm missing out on the happiness.
(Sorry its so long of a post, I just need to get it off my chest)
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:19 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
BL2010
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 10:37 AM

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Roo1234
by Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 10:44 AM
10 moms liked this
You have to accept that it is okay to mourn the loss of your expectations, hopes and dreams.

Without admitting that you're not thrilled with how things have happened you can't let it go. It is okay and you won't hurt your son by admitting you wanted something different for him. Once you have admitted this, you can then focus your energies towards what is, rather than trying to hide how you really felt beforehand. Believe it it not, by not battling with yourself you will feel free to move on

I'm not in your situation, but dealing with any disappointment starts the same way.

jessica4212011
by Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that having a child with challenges is like taking the steps of grieving. When we r pregnant we dream and fantasize about all the things that we hope are child will be and do. And when our children are born and it becomes clear that they might never do the thing we hoped for them its heartbreaking. We love and accept them for who they are regardless, care and nurture them and do everything in our power to make things better for them. But at the end of the day not having the child u hoped and dreamed about takes time to accept in our minds. Its okay you feel this way its normal. All you can do is love.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2014 at 8:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank ya'll for being so understanding. I never realized it would be so hard to accepted because a few of my family members including my sister have mental problems. I guess i just prayed for so long that i wouldn't get that part of my family gentics that i didn't think it would happen.

EninJenniLouis
by Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 9:21 PM
1 mom liked this
It's ok. *hugs* I have cp and my story is a little different. I didn't walk until I was two. I had a lot of physical issues, but my brain works just fine. It sounds like his does too. If he never learns to talk maybe he can learn to sign. Sometimes you aren't given what you want and you're given what you need. You might not see it now. He is perfect just how he is.
squeekumsaus
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 1:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Youe expected to get that picture perfect baby on a diaper commercial or baby store ad

You got thrown a curveball and naturally its hit you and your greiving the loss of what may have been

Totally normal, done beat yourself up over it, is there a local group for special needs mums or something in your area?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2014 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this
He is prefect and I love him so much. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. If helps know people have co and can still lead normal lives. Thank you

Quoting EninJenniLouis: It's ok. *hugs* I have cp and my story is a little different. I didn't walk until I was two. I had a lot of physical issues, but my brain works just fine. It sounds like his does too. If he never learns to talk maybe he can learn to sign. Sometimes you aren't given what you want and you're given what you need. You might not see it now. He is perfect just how he is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2014 at 1:52 PM
I not sure. I talk with some of the moms whose kids attend the same therapy place. I've always been around special needs because of my sister. I have my mom but she won't ever talk about my sisters problems. She has spent her life avoiding talking about it. I just don't want to end up like her and holding it in and being depressed about it and never seeking any help.

Quoting squeekumsaus:

Youe expected to get that picture perfect baby on a diaper commercial or baby store ad

You got thrown a curveball and naturally its hit you and your greiving the loss of what may have been

Totally normal, done beat yourself up over it, is there a local group for special needs mums or something in your area?

EninJenniLouis
by Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 3:25 PM
You're welcome!

Quoting Anonymous: He is prefect and I love him so much. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. If helps know people have co and can still lead normal lives. Thank you



Quoting EninJenniLouis: It's ok. *hugs* I have cp and my story is a little different. I didn't walk until I was two. I had a lot of physical issues, but my brain works just fine. It sounds like his does too. If he never learns to talk maybe he can learn to sign. Sometimes you aren't given what you want and you're given what you need. You might not see it now. He is perfect just how he is.
tiniowien
by Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 4:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Just remember special babies are given to special parents 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)