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Mom Finds Super Judgy Text Message from Sitter She Almost Hired

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:08 AM
  • 8 Replies

Mom Finds Super Judgy Text Message from Sitter She Almost Hired

by Adriana Velez

cribAre you and the people caring for your kids on the same page? One mom found out the answer to that question the hard way. She posted on Reddit the "eye-opening text I wasn't supposed to see from a daycare provider I was considering for my daughter." At least she caught the conversation before she sent her baby there. Sounds like they weren't exactly simpatico with her kind of parenting style.

The Redditor said she's had some issues with her previous daycare center and was changing to a center she hoped would be more understanding. She admits that her family co-sleeps, but added that her daughter naps just fine. And the worker she talked with seemed completely professional and didn't reveal anything that would have indicated that there might be a huge chasm between their parenting philosophies. So when she saw this exchange, she was shaken.


Ouch! Okay, maybe they're frustrated with parents whose babies don't nap well at the center. But "That's a lazy parent"?!? Even though it would be relief to know you'd escaped an awkward childcare arrangement for your family, that would sting.

It almost doesn't matter where it comes from, we just always hate being judged. But it's especially hard when it comes from someone who helps take care of your child. What other parenting choices of yours are they second-guessing? It would certainly shatter your confidence that the center would care for your child the way you want them to -- following all of your requests and instructions.

Obviously it's hard to find a childcare provider who aligns with your parenting philosophy 100 percent. But it helps if you're mostly in agreement, and you can feel confident that they'll respect your wishes without rolling their eyes behind your back. It's just another example of how vulnerable parents feel, trusting our kids with other people.

Do you ever feel at odds with your child's daycare provider?

by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-8):
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:38 AM

Did the daycare send the text to her on accident?

by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:42 AM

  Sounds like something my sister in law would do.


by Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 11:08 AM
2 moms liked this
How Did she get to see this? Someone explain Please.
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 22, 2014 at 12:22 PM
Hahahahahaha! Busted!

Not only do I have a degree ion early
Childhood development but there is MUCH WORSE said about parents than this. Be glad it didn't get that far. It would be anything from questioning their parenting skills to the fact that the child really needed to learn who was boss because they were truly holy terrors. And when I say this I mean they bit other kids ALL the time, hit, slapped, kicked, you name it. So, yeah. This is what you get when you have to put the kids in other peoples care. It's truly unfortunate, but it happens.
I'm not saying it's right. But when you have 7-10 1-2 year olds or 15-22 3-4 year olds yeah, your nerves are frazzled. Again, not saying it's right. But it is day care. And I have seen a lot worse, so bad that I actually called CPS once on a facility I used to work for, I left after seeing what the owner thought she could get away with.
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 1:53 PM

I think I'm missing something here.  People are going to judge and say bad things.  I get judged for not breast feeding, for working outside the home, and I'm sure a bunch of things I don't even know about.  I don't care.  I do what's best for my family.  I would just find a different daycare provider.  Has this mom never judged the way another person does things.  Maybe they were having a bad day.  I think it's a silly thing to make such a fuss over.  If your decisions work for you and your family then who cares? Maybe I'm lucky but I have a private sitter that watches dd while I work and I love her.  We seem to be on the same page. 

by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 5:03 PM

At least she found out before she put the baby there and signed a contract etc.  As mothers, we will be judged at some point, for some reason or another. I just say, let them judge. They will also be judged for stuff they do.  

by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 7:06 PM

Have you talked to a teen or young adult lately?  They do that shit all the time.

They don't know what they don't know yet...

by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 4:14 PM

I am the mom in this story. The provider sent me the text by accident. 

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