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s/o Who will be the one to care for your aging parents when the time comes?

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 1:11 PM
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This is a spin-off of another post.  Have you thought about this?  Have you had discussions with your partner about this?  Have you discussed it with your parents and siblings?  With your in-laws?

I haven't really thought about it, nor have I discussed it with my DH or any of our family.  But after seeing the other post, I think it's time to have that discussion.

by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 1:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
caligirl7613
by Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 2:03 PM
dont know. i wouldnt care for my mother....probably....unless somehow our relationship drastically changes in the future...which is possible....my dad is 10 ten years older than her so she will probably care for him if it ever comes to that.
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epuffer
by New Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 2:21 PM
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i am. been doing so for years. my moms almost 60 and cant do it like she used to so i help however i can. im 22 btw youngest child

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 3:11 PM
My parents have passed. My husbands parents are going strong in their mid 70s. As a large group its not been discussed....however, they have 2 sons close by that probably will. We live 5 hours away.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2014 at 6:05 PM
My dad has already passed. My mom is well on her way being as she's a raging alcoholic, who has alcoholic neuropathy, and super high liver enzymes which means liver failure is close.. As for dh's parents we haven't discussed it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2014 at 7:23 PM
Only MIL alive now. She is 77 and doing well. We don't live by family. MIL took care of FIL. MIL would go to a nursing home if it came to that probably. SIL has a tiny townhouse now and no room.
jl89
by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 7:28 PM
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I don't know...my brother and I haven't talked about it, tbh. It will probably be whoever can do it more comfortably. I know my mother doesn't want to go to a nursing home. I'll respect that. Tbh, I don't expect my father will last much longer, maybe five years, so it will just be my mom. 

Currently, we all live together. My brother is in university. My mother has to take care of my father full time, so she doesn't work. So, I pay all the bills in exchange for free childcare and no rent. 

Annellyse
by Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 7:30 PM
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I already am...well my dad anyway.  I live 30 minutes away from him, but my sisters live out of state, so it's all up to me.  He no longer drives so it's up to me to get him to his appts. and do his grocery shopping, etc.

LDavis33
by Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 7:46 PM

Have you ever discussed it with your DH?  I'm just curious because it's a difficult topic for some people to talk about.

Quoting EireLass: My parents have passed. My husbands parents are going strong in their mid 70s. As a large group its not been discussed....however, they have 2 sons close by that probably will. We live 5 hours away.


LDavis33
by Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 7:48 PM

Just curious as to why a nursing home?  Would your situation not allow you to care for her?  Is that the decision she has made? Have you discussed it with her and your DH?

I'm not trying to start anything, just genuinely curious.

Quoting Anonymous: Only MIL alive now. She is 77 and doing well. We don't live by family. MIL took care of FIL. MIL would go to a nursing home if it came to that probably. SIL has a tiny townhouse now and no room.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2014 at 7:58 PM
She would never move away from her hometown. She was in nursing home/rehab for a month after her bypass surgery last summer.

Quoting LDavis33:

Just curious as to why a nursing home?  Would your situation not allow you to care for her?  Is that the decision she has made? Have you discussed it with her and your DH?

I'm not trying to start anything, just genuinely curious.

Quoting Anonymous: Only MIL alive now. She is 77 and doing well. We don't live by family. MIL took care of FIL. MIL would go to a nursing home if it came to that probably. SIL has a tiny townhouse now and no room.


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