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Would you be insulted?

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 3:28 PM
  • 22 Replies

We are going to visit a friend of my husband's that I really dislike this evening.  I overheard my husband on the phone with him explaining to him that he won't be able to drink while he is there today because "the old lady doesn't want to have to drive home"

Now, the actual facts are that I have a migraine condition, and driving after dark is something I can do for short periods, but the headlights and streetlights will cause a migraine after a while if I do it too long, and this friend lives an hour away.  My husband has no idea why I would be bothered by either being called his "old lady" (he only ever uses that term with this friend who is a complete chauvenist) or his saying I don't want to drive, instead of can't drive.  Am I over reacting or is he out of line?

((The solution they reached was that we will all stay the night so my husband can drink and drive us home tomorrow.  I have no issues with my husband drinking, I just don't like this man for many reasons, and I dislike how my husband behaves around him.))

by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 3:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 4:03 PM

i would be upset, if he had refer to me as an "old lady" just because he is on the phone with his friend just to please his friend. sounds like you figured things out anyways good luck!!!

by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 4:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Well my husband calls me 'the wife' instead of my wife...I hate that!
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by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 4:48 PM
4 moms liked this
I wouldn't even go. It's his friend, not yours, so I would just stay home. I figure life is too short to spend social time with people I don't like.
by Michelle on Feb. 21, 2014 at 5:53 PM

 I would be upset too. I also agree with the above mom - I probably would not even go.

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by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 7:48 PM
2 moms liked this
Weird that your going as far as spending the night when you don't even like the guy. Let the old man go by himself.
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 21, 2014 at 7:53 PM

I would be upset too. He's showing a complete lack of respect for you and that's bullshit. 

by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 5:21 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't be upset.

Guys do dumb stuff all the time, esp when they're not around us.  Him calling you 'old lady' is very common in certain circles..  And it's really the most trivial thing in your story.

by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 5:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I might've been a little put out, but probably just laughed it off since he was obviously trying sound "cool" w/ his guy friend. My DH refers to me as "wifey" or "my bride" & I LOVE both. I say let it slide mama :-)
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 9:53 PM
I am right there with you. My boyfriend has a couple friends I am not fond of, but one of them is just...I don't know... so when he asks me if we can invite him over or go hang out, I just want to daddy no no no. He's sexist, he talks down about commitment all the time, and he tries to talk me into driving so my boyfriend can take another shot before leaving. I can't drive my boyfriend's car because it is a stick. He's just ugh. Well, what makes it worse is my boyfriend starts to mimic his behavior and it's just frustrating. If his friend wants to continue sleeping with his "not girlfriend" and trash marriage, fine, but don't sit there right in front of me and say "you don't want to get married, dude, women are crazy". My boyfriend and I talk about marriage all the time, he wants to get married; but when we are with his friend he sits there and agrees with him! He says he's just joking, but still it's just messed up.
Anyway, I would be just as upset as you.
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 9:57 PM

My SO calls me his old lady with some friends, and by name with others, so that wouldn't bother me. Using me as an excuse always bothered me, though. If I didn't like the friend, I definitely wouldn't be staying the night, either. x.X

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