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SAHMs, why do you do it?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I'm not judging stay-at-home-moms at all just trying to figure out why you stay at home instead of working from home or working outside the home.

Why do you do it? What are the pros and cons of staying at home?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 25, 2014 at 4:38 PM
Replies (21-30):
ballerina18
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 3:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Personally, for my family, it was important that I stay home with our daughter while she was young. I was a SAHM until my dd was 1 year old and then I went back to college. During that time my SO and I worked opposite shifts so he could stay home with our daughter while I was at school and I could stay home with dd while SO went to work.


Now our dd is 6 years old and I am applying for graduate school. For me, a con of being a SAHM would be that I couldn't focus on my career. I have a DEEP DESIRE to help other children and families as a speech therapist. I would feel unfulfilled if I couldn't do something that I thought was important. I was there for my daughter when she was young and now I feel the need to be there for other young children as well. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mommy and I love my daughter. While she still needs me to be there for her, she is now at an age where she understands that mommy needs to be away at times to help other ppl. I am going to be a mommy for the rest of my life (into my dd's adulthood, not just when she is under 18) and I NEED to show her that it is important to pursue a passion. Speech therapy is my career passion and I don't feel like I am cheating my daughter out of anything by pursing a career.

=)

waytomanykids10
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 4:07 AM
1 mom liked this
We technically have 11 but 2 of them are adults.
We do have a lot of fun even though itis a lot if work, lol.


Quoting want10more:

 YOU HAVE 9?????? HOLY CRAP HOW FUN!  i only have 6! all mine are special needs, but not in the way of your lil un. hope he's doing ok!


Quoting waytomanykids10: Daycare for 9 kids is expensive. My youngest is special needs, we would need someone that could handle seizures, feeding him through his feeding tube, No daycare would want to be responsible for his care.

 

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want10more
by Bronze Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 4:10 AM

 you're luckier than i thot then!~ WHEEEEEEEEEEE~ lots of work, sure. but oh............ what a BLESSING you got to have!

Quoting waytomanykids10: We technically have 11 but 2 of them are adults. We do have a lot of fun even though itis a lot if work, lol.
Quoting want10more:

 YOU HAVE 9?????? HOLY CRAP HOW FUN!  i only have 6! all mine are special needs, but not in the way of your lil un. hope he's doing ok!

Quoting waytomanykids10: Daycare for 9 kids is expensive. My youngest is special needs, we would need someone that could handle seizures, feeding him through his feeding tube, No daycare would want to be responsible for his care.

 

 

Runner36
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:41 AM
1 mom liked this

At first it was solely due to daycare costs.  I worked when we only had 1...then we had a second and daycare cost more than I would have been making (and dh joined the military so we could afford for me to stay home as well).  I loved being home with my kids and teaching them, seeing them grow physically. mentally, etc. After staying home for 7.5 years, I went back to work for 2 years and complained about my job...but really did enjoy working again.  Now I am a SAHM again because we are only at our current duty station for 1 year and we figured it was pointless for me to work for 9-10 months and I should just stay home to be here for our boys when they got home, do all the 'wifely/ motherly" duties, etc.  I am glad I am at home when they get home from school..as this move has been really rough on my kids (especially my oldest).  However, I am bored to tears some days, lonely most days and feel like I have no purpose at the moment.  My boys are 12 and 9 so they are pretty self-sufficient at this point.  Icannot wait to go back to work when we move..even though I will be doing all the wifely/motherly duties PLUS work...at least I will feel some sort of personal satisfaction again.  Until then, I will work out, clean, cook, repeat.

MIA0223
by Michelle on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Because this was the understanding we had before we married.
We feel it's our childs right to have a parent home. And I am the one who lactates, so I win. DH did stay home withDD for a few months though when we moved because I am better at strating up a business, he is better at running it :)

MomTiara19
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:48 AM
2 moms liked this

Why does a person want to be a nurse or business owner?

We all are different and have different interests.

That being said I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom.I have always loved caring for chidren,cooking,cleaning,being home for my husband,being involved in all family activities.Basically any and all things domestic I am a pro at.I am the queen of my home and run it well.

I wanted to always be there for my family and never miss any first anything.I was a latch key kid growing up and did not want that for my kids.

I see nothing but pros for me being at home.My husband is soul provider,we are traditional and we are happy.

brittc789
by New Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:52 AM
I love being home with my girls. My oldest is 5 and in full day kindergarten and my youngest is 3. I've worked once since my oldest was born and that was for 6 months and I missed my girls way to much to concentrate. Once i started cutting myself (i worked in a deli) because my head wasn't completely on the job i knew it wasn't going to work. We're not rich but we manage just fine with DF working 1 job. But we are moving this weekend and i do plan on finding part time work (at least to start part time).
ShannyLouisiany
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this
because I'm 37 and won't be enjoying anymore babies - ever. I want to dedicate myself wholly to my 9 week old and my 6 year old since I can.
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dingysfamily
by Suzi on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:44 AM
1 mom liked this

With my oldest son, in my first marriage:  I did it because I wanted to stay home with him instead of pay a childcare provider and we were financially able to; also dh was more than okay with with it.  I did work for a while when we decided to buy a single family home, but only for a short time; then again when we separated & divorced.  I became a SAHM again after remarrying, & as I like to say 'giving birth to 3 stepchildren', although not for a couple of years after.  We went on to have a child of our own (giving us a total of 5 kids); I did work outside the home for a couple of years while she was in middle school to  put her in a private Christian school, but then when I got laid off, I didn't go back again.  Most of my adult life has been spent as a SAHM/W and it's been my choice, along with my husbands approval.  The biggest pros have been just being there for my  kids when they need me, for anything & everything; the biggest con & this was mainly during the 2nd (& current marriage, the one with so many kids) was the fact that money was frequently tight ... but we made due and didn't live outside our means.  Love was the biggest pro in making it all work out.  I would do it all again ... in a heartbeat!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:46 AM
2 moms liked this
I had this silly idea that if I had a child, I would raise the child. The proof is in the pudding. This kid is blowing the world away with his awesomeness. Even I did not know how ridiculously amazing this child would turn out. I had a huge part in that and pat myself on the back, regularly.
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