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The Cafe The Cafe

Cutting/Limiting Screen Time and Sweets

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:28 PM
  • 8 Replies

I posted in another group how my DD had become VERY defiant the past couple years and I admit that I might have contributed to her behavior or at least I haven't done much to stop it until now because I realize just how out of control she is. Everything has become a struggle and I'm at my wits end because I just don't know what consequences will work. Time outs never did anything except exhaust me because I either had to hold her there or keep running after her and she never learned anything from it. 


Now I really want to cut tv/iPad time and cut out lots of sweets. Do you all think that is having a major effect on her behavior?

by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:28 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:51 PM
I do what will bother her the most. Whether it's her tablet, bike, etc. Sometimes a good spanking works too. Time out works with dd2 who's is 3. Time out does nothing with dd1 who is 6.
Good luck
Roo1234
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:58 PM
Often times kids who are very defiant don't respond as well to punishments as they do to finding ways to partner with them as a team to create better behaviors.

I can see cutting back /eliminating both, but if you do it as punishment she is going to see you as an adversary and it will trigger bigger, greater struggles as a battle of wills.
BrightKisses
by Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:12 AM

Exactly! That's why I want to find something to take her mind off it. But nothing seems to keep her attention. 

Quoting Roo1234: Often times kids who are very defiant don't respond as well to punishments as they do to finding ways to partner with them as a team to create better behaviors. I can see cutting back /eliminating both, but if you do it as punishment she is going to see you as an adversary and it will trigger bigger, greater struggles as a battle of wills.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:38 AM

As a mom of a DD with some behavior challenges I will say that it may or may not have an effect on her behavior, but it's a good thing to do anyway. Kids don't need a ton of screen time or sweets. I don't give my DD candy except only occasionally, and there are a lot of days we go without TV all day long. My DD doesn't really care about punishments so much so I mainly do natural consequences, and when she is having a really hard time not getting into things she isn't supposed to be in, I just make her stay right beside me for a period of time so whatever I do and wherever I go in the house she has to come with me. I also try to praise the heck out of anything she does that is what I want her to do, and I make a point to praise her behavior when she does what I ask. I thank her for following my directions. I am considering doing a sticker chart but haven't quite decided on how it will work or what behaviors I want to reward, but I will try it. In your case, maybe cut back on just giving her sweets but don't cut them out entirely, give her sweets but use them as something she can earn through good behavior (on a chart of some kind). I also find that when I am very busy (say with housework) she becomes more defiant and gets into more things, and that's when I know I need to slow down and give her more one on one time throughout the day. I find that with my DD sometimes her behavior escalates when she wants attention, so maybe make sure your DD has definite times every day that she can count on without fail and knows is set aside just for you and her, as your special time.  And yes, cut out screen time, because the more her face is in a screen the less she is connecting with you. Good luck

prettygirl326
by Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 1:04 AM

yeah... i do think that would have a major effect on her behavior. she will BAHAVE. 

LDavis33
by Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 1:10 PM

It's worth a try.  You're not taking anything away from her that she needs anyhow.  They are just extras.

I know that my DS4 is a completely different child after having a chocolate bar, so I limit sweets as much as possible.  He also gets aggressive and overexcited when he watches certain shows so I am always aware of what he is watching.

On a side note, my DS's behavior was getting so bad we took him to our family Dr.  He ordered blood work and it turned out that he was very anemic.  We started him on iron supplements and his behavior has improved 200%.  

bhow
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 3:10 PM

Taking electronics should help, kids these days can't function without them, they are what they hold dearest in their hearts.  I've done it and have had great success, the key is follow through.  Tell her your disappointed with her behavior, that kills my kids.  Telling them your mad does nothing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 11, 2014 at 5:30 PM

I never let my kids stay on the computer, phone, whatever.  It is easier if you start out young not allowing it.  Ipods only came to be when mine were in middle school and we never allowed a ton of computer time.  I am appauled at parents buying Ipads and such for 2 and 3 year old kids.  I would never do that.  Oh, we never had video game systems until the girls were in HS also and they never were hooked on it. 

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