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Is teen sex really that big of a deal?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies

My son, 18, is sexually active and he knows how to be safe, to protect himself AND his partner, and to be selective when choosing a sex partner, rather than just falling into bed with anything with a pulse. His girlfriend is the same age and they've been together for a year, having sex for "a few months."

I really don't see the big deal as long as they're not being forced into it and they're using protection.I know things happen and she could very well end up pregnant because no protection is 100%, but they know what to do and that they can come to me and my husband and to her parents if/when it does.

They're not flaunting it in our faces or having sex where we can catch them, but they're also not hiding anything. They're open and affectionate like a married couple - chaste kisses here and there, hugs, handholding, cuddling on the sofa watching TV with the family, not making out or shoving their tongues down each other's throats in front of us.

Do you think there's anything wrong with this?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 21, 2014 at 4:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
N1ght1ngale
by on Mar. 21, 2014 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Sadly, not anymore.. Though at 18 it is considered more acceptable as they have now entered adulthood. What is really terrible is seeing all These sexually active 12-17 year olds.. Sodom and Gamorah...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 21, 2014 at 4:53 PM

I think you need to be ready to be parents but of course many adults are not financially and ready either. 

I did discourage sex in HS and my girls didn't have sex in HS.  DH and I didn't either. 

Trouble is either or are talked into it or feeling peer pressure.  Younger and younger ages is bad too. 

LysNVantesMom
by Member on Mar. 21, 2014 at 4:58 PM
6 moms liked this

I think it is wrong, morally, that is just how I feel.  I've tried seeing it in the other light, but it just doesn't sit well with me. I was pregnant with DD at 15 after just one time.  I wasn't taught the morals I am trying to teach my children.  We are trying to teach them to abstain, but they also know to feel free to come to us when and if they feel it may happen.  DD is 14 now, and DS is 10.  We have had the talk with both of them, more than once.  I understand peer pressure and all that other stuff they are going through, but I hope being close with them and what we are teaching them at home will help them make the right decision for them.  Sex is a huge responsibility and a lot of teens these days see it as just fun and games, that is until something bad happens.    

tiniowien
by on Mar. 21, 2014 at 4:59 PM

As long as it's informed and safe 

KawfeeKathy63
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:09 AM
1 mom liked this

 It sounds like a normal healthy relationship to me. 

NDADanceMom
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 5:25 AM
5 moms liked this

As parents you and the girls parents are given the choice as to how to raise your child.  I want my kids to focus on school, not sexual relationships.  My daughter is in college, has plans to joint the peace corps and then she will get her graduate degree.  Sadly kids that are in sexual relationships often focus on relationships rather than themselves and their future.  I have drilled into all of my kids that their brain isnt even formed till 22.  They need to spend time getting an education, sex will come later. 

All 3 of my teens are virgins and realize teen relationships rarely last.  If it was meant to be they can date and remain casual until they are older.  My husband and I were high school sweethearts and kept our focus on school.  We were not married until our 20s.  We did not cuddle with our family watching.  We developed a friendship that because the foundation of our relationship.  We did not even kiss until after 4 months of dating.  

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 6:54 PM

I think u are being realistic kids will have sex even if u tell them not to !

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:49 PM
2 moms liked this
Some, not all.

Quoting nurse1997:

I think u are being realistic kids will have sex even if u tell them not to !

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 22, 2014 at 9:11 PM

 The problem is not that there is anything WRONG with this behaviour, the question is whether their behaviour is responsible. 

I know you think they are being responsible about 'protection', but nothing is perfect.  the casual nature of sexual relationships is only a problem when they make a child.  {no one thinks it will happen to them} then when the relationship does not survive the stress of parenthood all kinds of issues result.   That is when it becomes a 'big deal'

 

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 9:28 PM

Thats right not all and including my daughters that is because they choose not too but a time will come when they will I have girls 16, and 17 and both have been with there boyfriends for over 2 years im not stupid .I have told them all the ins and out of sex do I approve no but do I want them to be safe hell ya !

Quoting Anonymous: Some, not all.
Quoting nurse1997:

I think u are being realistic kids will have sex even if u tell them not to !


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