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The Cafe The Cafe

I FEEL HORRIBLE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

My neighbor has Williams syndrome and comes over ALL The time wanting to play with my girls.  He is a 12 year old boy, but looks like he is 8. 

I don't mind when they play outside or at my house with my supervision.  However, lately I feel like a babysitter and I really don't want him at my house anymore. 

Yesterday, he came over around our dinner time and I told him we were going to eat and they could play tomorrow. 

Well, today it is 35 degrees outside and snowing.  I also have a TON of things to do because DH was home this past week, I got nothing done and we weren't home that often.  I literally have enough laundry to do for about 7 more loads and I have already done about 6.  (among a list of other things to do to catch up).  He comes over and I look outside and told her that she isn't going outside because it is cold and wet.  I also told her that he wasn't comingin because I have a lot to do today. 

My dd came up about 4 times asking if he could come in and I kept giving her the same answer.  Well,  I go downstairs and my other daughter and our neighbor kid - AFTER I TOL THEM HE WASN'T coming in today.  were ON MY BED jumping on it and playing with the cats - literally about 1 minute after my oldest came upstairs and ignored the neighbor kid. 

i WAS STRESSED BEYOND REALITY.  I needed to get stuff done and this kid is IN MY HOUSE!!!  

I told him he had to go, I could not have guests in the house today and it is too yucky out for my kids to go oustside.  I told him if it cleared up they may be able to play this afternoon. 

He asks me if I was mad, I said no but I am stressed because I said no 10 minutes ago and I am have a lot to do. 

He leaves crying.  WHY CAN'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME NO MEANS NO.

I called my sister and she said I did nothing wrong, but I feel terrible. 

Did I do something wrong? 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2014 at 2:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:16 PM

BUMP!

indiamom3
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this
No. How about having a talk with his mom, and setting up a regular playtime once a week when he comes to your house? Maybe something special, like having him come over and inviting him for dinner. You are smart for supervising the play when he is there, but you can't do it all the time. Have a talk with your kids also - maybe this would be a win-win for all.
bozobean
by Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this

You didn't do anything wrong. Kids need to learn that no means no, and they can't always get their way. He'll get over it.

little.worthen
by Tess on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd go talk to the mother. Making her child respect boundaries and not come over every single day shouldn't be your job. You shouldn't feel bad that you and your family have a life too.
mariesmama
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:48 PM

perhaps he's looking for a positive role model in you

BelleDame817
by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:08 PM
You did nothing wrong and everything right. Don't feel guilty. :)
fudgybuddymom
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:56 PM

No you didn't.

myloveismyfaith
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this
There's no reason to feel guilty, you did the right thing. I would question why the mother allows her son to come over without permission though. You should go over there and talk to her, because I doubt at twelve he just leaves, and maybe she doesn't realize that sometimes he is a bit of a burden. Try to explain the situation without making her son feel like a problem and ask that she clear it with you before he comes over so that there are no hurt feelings. Also, I would be talking to my child too about allowing him in after I told her no.
mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 3:07 PM

I don't think you did but I know that guilt in the gut feeling.......Hugs

NDADanceMom
by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 5:32 PM
1 mom liked this
We taught the neighborhood kids the welcome mat rule. If the kids were free to play it was out. If the welcome mat was gone the kids were not available.
We explained the rule to the kids and parents. Other families started doing it too.
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