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Bullying...I am so over these kids!!!

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 8:55 AM
  • 28 Replies
2 moms liked this

I am so over bullies.  And I mean real bullying...either with words or fists.  My 7th grader has been dealing with bullying all year.  He is a pretty passive person and has had issues with kids making fun of him before in other schools (we move around a lot due to the military); but has always found a couple good friends and he was good to go.

However, in this school, it just won't stop!  We have talked to the parents, the teachers, our son has gone to his school counselor...NOTHING.  This morning we spoke with the 7th grade principal and hopefully things will get taken care of!

To all those that have kids that bully others...whether it is by making fun of someone, taking their lunch, hitting, etc...STOP...you are damaging other kids.  It is hurtful and sad and just plain mean.  Just because a kid doesn't fight back with his fists to your constant taunting and stealing of his lunch doesn't mean he isn't hurting from your words and actions.  Grow-up, have some respect and compassion and go hang out with the kids that WANT to hang out with you...STOP picking on the kids that want NOTHING to do with you!  Let them live their lives how they want...they don't need your help.

Thank goodness we are moving...we cannot get out of here soon enough!!!

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by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 8:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Connie04
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:00 AM
Well said!!! What is wrong with the parents if these kids?? If my kid was doing something like that, he would be tuned in very quickly!! That is not acceptable behavior at all. It is anti- social and mean. Do parents really want their kids to grow up being like that?? I will never understand how any adult could stand by and do nothing when a kid is being bullied. I hope things improve for your son! Good luck!
pseudomamma
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:59 AM
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We have always told the kids if they are bullied, follow the rules.  Tell someone.  If it continues, then defend yourself.  JR is also very passive so he started attending Tae Kwon Do.  During his 3 yrs in ATA, there was one incident in which a kid would punch him in the stomach.  We gave him the same advice, tell someone and if it continues, defend yourself.  His instructor also told him to defend himself.  

Point is, give him to tools he needs to help himself, and I don't mean violence.  They teach respect, leadership,  confidence, and how to defend as a last resort.

Runner36
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 12:17 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you!  I think the same thing...my kids sure as heck wouldn't act like these kids and if they did we would nip that in the bud in a second!  But then again, I figure maybe the parents are like that as well and were not taught right from wrong...bullies breeding more bullies :(

Quoting Connie04: Well said!!! What is wrong with the parents if these kids?? If my kid was doing something like that, he would be tuned in very quickly!! That is not acceptable behavior at all. It is anti- social and mean. Do parents really want their kids to grow up being like that?? I will never understand how any adult could stand by and do nothing when a kid is being bullied. I hope things improve for your son! Good luck!


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Runner36
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 12:22 PM

We have always said the exact same and you...follow the rules, be a leader, etc.  He took several years of Karate as well.  But he hated sparing and is scared to death to fight...which i understand...as I would be and am the same way.  He is a big rule follower (which is a GOOD thing).  However, the school did a lecture on bullying at the beginning of the school year and if you defend yourself with hitting, then you get suspended as well.  it is the most bass-ackwards thing to me.  So our kids are just supposed to let kids hit them?  Then they say, tell a teacher, counselor etc.  My son has done that and nothing has been done.  I am hoping that this time with going to the 7th grade principal that it will be all taken care of.

Now, we have been lucky that the bullying has only been with words and his lunch being taken...but we have given him permission to defend himself if he has to and we would not be upset...but he would still be suspended from school and everything...so anyway...it is just so frustrating!  

Quoting pseudomamma:

We have always told the kids if they are bullied, follow the rules.  Tell someone.  If it continues, then defend yourself.  JR is also very passive so he started attending Tae Kwon Do.  During his 3 yrs in ATA, there was one incident in which a kid would punch him in the stomach.  We gave him the same advice, tell someone and if it continues, defend yourself.  His instructor also told him to defend himself.  

Point is, give him to tools he needs to help himself, and I don't mean violence.  They teach respect, leadership,  confidence, and how to defend as a last resort.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 28, 2014 at 11:35 AM

 My oldest is only 11 but from what I have seen it's pretty much bullies growing up and having kids that are bullies.  We are in a school that has a lot of parent involvement and family activities.  I have encountered several kids that were rude to adults and mean to classmates.  I have also met their parents.  They are the same way.  They are not welcoming to the parents that aren't in their clique, their kids are perfect, teachers are stupid, etc.

Quoting Connie04: Well said!!! What is wrong with the parents if these kids?? If my kid was doing something like that, he would be tuned in very quickly!! That is not acceptable behavior at all. It is anti- social and mean. Do parents really want their kids to grow up being like that?? I will never understand how any adult could stand by and do nothing when a kid is being bullied. I hope things improve for your son! Good luck!

 

pseudomamma
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 11:40 AM

Yes he will be suspended.  And no adult will see him get hit or bullied.  Always happens that way.  JRs TKD instructor told him he will get kicked out for a day, so he could come spend the day with him t the school

Quoting Runner36:

We have always said the exact same and you...follow the rules, be a leader, etc.  He took several years of Karate as well.  But he hated sparing and is scared to death to fight...which i understand...as I would be and am the same way.  He is a big rule follower (which is a GOOD thing).  However, the school did a lecture on bullying at the beginning of the school year and if you defend yourself with hitting, then you get suspended as well.  it is the most bass-ackwards thing to me.  So our kids are just supposed to let kids hit them?  Then they say, tell a teacher, counselor etc.  My son has done that and nothing has been done.  I am hoping that this time with going to the 7th grade principal that it will be all taken care of.

Now, we have been lucky that the bullying has only been with words and his lunch being taken...but we have given him permission to defend himself if he has to and we would not be upset...but he would still be suspended from school and everything...so anyway...it is just so frustrating!  

Quoting pseudomamma:

We have always told the kids if they are bullied, follow the rules.  Tell someone.  If it continues, then defend yourself.  JR is also very passive so he started attending Tae Kwon Do.  During his 3 yrs in ATA, there was one incident in which a kid would punch him in the stomach.  We gave him the same advice, tell someone and if it continues, defend yourself.  His instructor also told him to defend himself.  

Point is, give him to tools he needs to help himself, and I don't mean violence.  They teach respect, leadership,  confidence, and how to defend as a last resort.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 28, 2014 at 11:42 AM
why is your kid getting bullied at each school? can he get some self-defense lessons? fighting is not the way to handle it but if the schools aren't helping and neither is ignoring them, it might be time for him to lay them flat on their asses.
Runner36
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 12:01 PM

I should clarify...it is not that he is getting bullied at each school..I guess it is more picking on the new kid/ making fun of the new kid.  We have had to move every 2 years with the military so once he is no longer the "new kid" we move again.  It is so hard on him.  I am currently looking into self-defense classes.  I do not thinking hitting is the answer either and I am totally against fighting...but as you said...enough is enough!  And I have told my son that...but I can't change his personality and I don't want him to feel like we (my dh and I) are trying to change who he is as a person...and that is what he feels like.  He feels like dh gets so upset with him for not being a "fighter"...it breaks my heart honestly :(

Quoting Anonymous: why is your kid getting bullied at each school? can he get some self-defense lessons? fighting is not the way to handle it but if the schools aren't helping and neither is ignoring them, it might be time for him to lay them flat on their asses.


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Connie04
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 2:44 PM

 I totally agree.  My brother was bullied many years ago by a particular kid in school.  Many years later, his son (my nephew) happened to end up going to school with this bully's kid.  And guess what?  He was a bully, too.  So, I  do believe the kids learn it from how their parents act.  I am happy to say that once my nephew learned karate and put some moves on the kid, the bullying ended.  It is too bad it takes something like that to stop a bully, but sometimes a kid has to do what is necessary.  I guess these parents think that bullying is OK or it is warranted for some bizarre reason.  I will never understand how their minds work.

Quoting Anonymous:

 My oldest is only 11 but from what I have seen it's pretty much bullies growing up and having kids that are bullies.  We are in a school that has a lot of parent involvement and family activities.  I have encountered several kids that were rude to adults and mean to classmates.  I have also met their parents.  They are the same way.  They are not welcoming to the parents that aren't in their clique, their kids are perfect, teachers are stupid, etc.

Quoting Connie04: Well said!!! What is wrong with the parents if these kids?? If my kid was doing something like that, he would be tuned in very quickly!! That is not acceptable behavior at all. It is anti- social and mean. Do parents really want their kids to grow up being like that?? I will never understand how any adult could stand by and do nothing when a kid is being bullied. I hope things improve for your son! Good luck!

 

 

NDADanceMom
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:07 PM
I would find a teacher your child likes and ask about the bullying. I'm a teacher and I've never had a child that parents reported being bullied that i couldn't give some tips to help. While no child should be bullied i have had to inform parents that their child contributes to the situation. It might be something like a child picking his nose and eating it. Yup that kid gets teased. What do you want me to say to the kids when the refuse to share markers with your son? It's gross, your kid is 12. He should be past picking his nose when others are watching. What about the kid who is a bit on the nerdy side yet tells other kids they are nerds and constantly clings to the "cool kids". From what i see it isn't even your kids strange clothes and hair that make the cool kids tell him to go away, it's that he is mean. Your kid is the bully to begin with. These are just a couple of examples but in every single case of bullying the kid was contributing to the situation. I'd want to know so i could help my kid not make the same mistake next time.
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