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she will eventually snap

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

I really need some sound advice.

I have a bad temper and no patience.  I have 2 little ones that do not listen to me and I lose my patience and temper REALLY fast. 

I do not hurt my children, but for example yesterday they were not listening AT ALL and I lost my temper slammed my radio in the car and it now does not work.

I keep asking for help and no one seems to be listening to me.  I am sick and tired of losing my temper and patience.  I am under A LOT of stress, we have other issues that cause me stress besides my children not listening

I found out last week that my MIL had the nerve to tell my DH that I will eventually snap and be like whatever it isn't worth the battle.  I told my DH that noooo, it is more like if I snap it is going to be VERY ugly and I do not want to go there.  I would go in the opposite direction my MIL thinks will happen

So, I either get the help I need or I will snap and it won't be pretty. 

I would LOVE to go to counseling or something like that, but my DH is mr. paranoid and feels that if I go in to get help so I have more patience and don't lose my temper as much they will think my kids are in danger - which they are not - and get CPS or the cops involved. 

I dont know where to go or turn to, but I know I need someone I can truly talk to who wont assume something bad is going on.  I really want help and I seriously LOVE my kids.  They are my life, I just need to get this under control.

Any suggestions.

TIA

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 28, 2014 at 7:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mrseoc
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:20 AM
3 moms liked this

I have a short temper too. You might not like my answer because it involves a lot of work. I have to work out at least 4 times a week... like break a sweat work out. I also have to meditate. Try it when your kids are sleeping or busy with something. Just silence your head, get comfortable and just be. When you teach yourself to meditate you can teach yourself (when not meditating) to be more in tuned with whats going on in the now. Teach yourself to appreciate each moment (the sm,ells the sounds, how lucky you are to have to beautiful children) and to catch the first signs of you losing your temper. It's important for you to recognize when it's coming so that you can stop. Take a deep breath, and count to ten. Maybe 20. Sometimes you have to pull the car over, or sit down in the kitchen just to take a breath. If you can teach yourself to calm down before you fly off the handle it will eventually become easier to get a grip.

If this way is too hard or does not work, go to your doctor. You doctor can perscribe a light seditive that will make you feel calmer but may hinder your ability to drive and whatnot. A natural mild seditive would be lavender and chamomile tea.. Drink it 3 or 4 times a day to feel calm.

I hope you feel better. I understand your struggle i deal with it too. Just know your not alone :)

LDavis33
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Talk to your family doctor.  That's your first point of contact.  They can help guide you in the right direction.  

Some alternative treatments can help reduce your stress and make you less likely to get angry and snap.  Meditation, exercise, eating healthy, and making sure you get some time for yourself can all make a huge difference in how you feel.  Tackling some of the stressors in your life head on will help too.

I speak from experience here.  It isn't easy, but it can be done and needs to be done for your sake, the sake of your children and of your marriage.  

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:39 AM

Reading this I hear lots of things..... I think u need to learn how to control u! Babies are not easy but they are your babies u need to grip on your anger NOW! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:47 AM

 I know that.  That is the point of this post.  I don't know who/where to go to without fear of something bad happening. 

Quoting nurse1997:

Reading this I hear lots of things..... I think u need to learn how to control u! Babies are not easy but they are your babies u need to grip on your anger NOW! 

 

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:51 AM

Look for a local support group thru church, the hospital, look to see what your insurance will pay one on one is best ! Do research find out steps to take on your own anger to learn to control they wont give u pills your gonna have to do the work Good luck! .

Quoting Anonymous:

 I know that.  That is the point of this post.  I don't know who/where to go to without fear of something bad happening. 

Quoting nurse1997:

Reading this I hear lots of things..... I think u need to learn how to control u! Babies are not easy but they are your babies u need to grip on your anger NOW! 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this
This is, hands down, the best advice I have ever read on cafemom in my seven years here. OP, please take note. You can change your life with this advice.

Quoting Mrseoc:

I have a short temper too. You might not like my answer because it involves a lot of work. I have to work out at least 4 times a week... like break a sweat work out. I also have to meditate. Try it when your kids are sleeping or busy with something. Just silence your head, get comfortable and just be. When you teach yourself to meditate you can teach yourself (when not meditating) to be more in tuned with whats going on in the now. Teach yourself to appreciate each moment (the sm,ells the sounds, how lucky you are to have to beautiful children) and to catch the first signs of you losing your temper. It's important for you to recognize when it's coming so that you can stop. Take a deep breath, and count to ten. Maybe 20. Sometimes you have to pull the car over, or sit down in the kitchen just to take a breath. If you can teach yourself to calm down before you fly off the handle it will eventually become easier to get a grip.


If this way is too hard or does not work, go to your doctor. You doctor can perscribe a light seditive that will make you feel calmer but may hinder your ability to drive and whatnot. A natural mild seditive would be lavender and chamomile tea.. Drink it 3 or 4 times a day to feel calm.


I hope you feel better. I understand your struggle i deal with it too. Just know your not alone :)

bhow
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Do you drink a lot of caffeine?  There is an ingredient called taurine that causes aggression.  It is in many power drinks, 5 hour energy ... If men are into competition type lifting or what ever else, many of these competitions ban taurine.  It can be quite nasty, and harmful.

Magnesium is very important for nerve health.  99.99% of us are magnesium deficient and without magnesium we cannot absorb many vitamins and minerals.  Try a magnesium supplement.  You cannot take too much of it, your body will naturally flush it into the toilet, I promise.  Magnesium comes in many forms including liquid and powder.  Try GNC or VITACOST on-line.  Vita cost will give you information on anything they have available. (thousands of products)  People that work at GNC are usually pretty informed, and helpful.  Drink more water, dehydration also cause aggression.

I have been where you are, it is not pleasant.  I also take a precsription called Trileptal.  It is actually an anti seizure medication but it keeps my adrenaline under control so I am not aggressive and angry and cussing worse than any man.  It sucks to feel like that.  Good Luck!!

rae316
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:40 PM
A therapist isn't going to just tell cps to take your kids from you. You said you'd never hurt them and haven't then they have no reason to call.
You going to them for help, is what you should do. I'd definitely get into therapy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:44 PM
Op was saying she needs to do this. Try reading more carefully and maybe move on if you can't help.

Quoting nurse1997:

Reading this I hear lots of things..... I think u need to learn how to control u! Babies are not easy but they are your babies u need to grip on your anger NOW! 

insanemomof4
by Deb on Mar. 28, 2014 at 6:16 PM
This answer is the best yet! By asking for help it means u realize there's things u know u have to work on! Its when u don't ask for help and things happen that cps takes ur kids! Get help or find someone u can talk to! Lots of luck it does n will get easier as ur kids get bigger!

Quoting rae316: A therapist isn't going to just tell cps to take your kids from you. You said you'd never hurt them and haven't then they have no reason to call.
You going to them for help, is what you should do. I'd definitely get into therapy.
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