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The Cafe The Cafe

He won't have sex with me!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My SO and I have been together for almost two years now. He is a great man and makes me ridiculously happy in many ways. Except the bedroom. Don't get me wrong, when we do have sex, it's the best I have ever had! But those times seem to be few and far between. I have a higher sex drive then him and it drives me insane! Shouldn't it be the man begging for sex?? He tells me that it has absolutely nothing to do with me, and it's all him. He says that it's all a mental thing for him and he just can't get excited as much as he used to. Now, I'm a bigger girl so when he turns me down, I'm sure you can gather where my mind goes. But he tells me that he finds me sexy... So what gives?? I would love any advice for anyone who has gone through the same thing or something similar!!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 29, 2014 at 5:54 PM
Replies (91-100):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:09 AM
He is doing clomid and HCG injections fingers crossed it will raise his T and his count its pretty much our last hope at this point but thank you for the baby dust we def need it

Quoting mamatink7:

what can be done to raise his t since you guys are TTC? generally those presc t meds are not safe for people who are TTC.  good luck and baby dust!!

Quoting Anonymous:

 My DH has low T hes only 35 so age isn't always a factor  the cause my Dhis caused from his medications . We are doing fertility treatment as well .


Quoting mamatink7:

low-t


depending on how old you both are may be factor also. i agree with you cause i always am in mood and dh isnt always (not so much now since ttc and doing fert treatments he is more of exc mood)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 22 on Apr. 4, 2014 at 1:05 AM
2 moms liked this
Ok wow I could have written this same thing. Even all the responses you have done. If I didn't know better I would think your me!
Feefee3
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Sometimes men feel a bit insecure about themselves just like women do, but they arent going to voice it. So just think if you were feeling like him what would you want from him. Make him feel sexy. Tell him you love his body. Go the extra mile to make him feel special.Just a thought....lol. They are manly but sensitive too
Anonymous
by Anonymous 23 on Apr. 4, 2014 at 1:20 AM
3 moms liked this

He may be telling you the truth and it probably has nothing to do with your weight! About 10 years ago I went to sleep a horn dog and woke up the next morning so frigid I couldn't stand to touch myself! I'm a larger girl and I don't look in the mirror before masturbating so I don't even factor that in. lol   I now have about a 5 second window when the urge hits.  If I don't take care of it within that 5 seconds, I have to wait until the next 5 second window decides to come along. Sometimes the window shows up twice in one week and the next time might be 6 months or longer. I was fortunate in that my dh could not get an erection and I didn't care. We learned to snuggle frequently and that took care of our emotional need and since we have no physical needs it works well for us. So, stop beating yourself up because it really may not have anything to do with you! Antidepressants and blood pressure pills are 2 of the worst offenders for male sexual dysfunction problems. Is he on either of those? If not, he really should see a doctor to rule out any serious health issues. I suggest he start out the convo with his doctor with "I really don't want the little blue pill but need to know if there is something medically wrong with me?" For me, the meds mt doc offerred had side effects that were far more serious than not having sex so I passed on them.  I am content to live the rest of my life sex free and not even feel concerned. I have found it freeing! I didn't realize how exhausting worrying about when my next sexual enounter was going to be until I didn't need to worry about it! So trust your man and stop worrying. You're lucky he was so open and honest with you!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 24 on Apr. 4, 2014 at 7:50 AM
Ugh wish I could give you advice my husband has the highest sex drive in the world and man I need a break. Want me to lend him to you?? Just kidding! Haha. Seriously though make sure he's not overdoing it in the porn department...just read a little about the meds. Anti depressants are absolute libido killers and so are blood pressure meds. As women if we are on those meds we can fake it, unfortunately men can't. I'd say give him a little slack and let him adjust to these meds, might have to masturbate a little! :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 25 on Apr. 4, 2014 at 1:50 PM
my best friend was having that same problem with her dh....he went to the dr and they said his testosterone levels were down. So now he takes testosterone shots and they have a very happy sex life from what she tells me. Hope things get better. :-)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 26 on Apr. 4, 2014 at 8:36 PM
I have a higher sex drive then every man I've been with. Guess I don't know how to pick em! Wish I had some advice to offer but a lot of men loose their drive as they age...
kgalvano
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 9:40 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 27 on Apr. 5, 2014 at 12:31 AM
I am going through the same thing.. Similar to yours.. I don't understand? I tried buying fun stuff but he doesn't want too :(
NUNU579
by Member on Apr. 5, 2014 at 3:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I feel that way too. That I don't attract my bf as much but he says I look good but I myself feel so low and ugly about myself. It sucks and I'm trying to lose the weight and feel better about myself. Some nights I feel myself having a high sex drive then him and it drives me INSANE too. But him on the other hand is like nothing to him, jump on the bed and pass out while I'm here like WTF! But he is sickly and I understand, but man it does suck!
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