My oldest dd had a baby (our first grandchild) and I have yet to see the baby, who is now 3 days old.
We were asked not to come to the hospital at all before she even went into labor. My dd and son in law wanted this to be a private time, and I totally respect that (although disappointed, of course). My youngest son and his girlfriend were invited - but not dh, myself, nor her sister. This is the first grandbaby for our family, so my ds will be a first time uncle and dd #2 a first time aunt.
I didn't want to disturb them, but I would fb msg her from time to time to see how things were going, and if she was alright, and to reply to her infrequent msgs. Here is a timeline of the events:
Sat Afternoon - dd goes to the hospital to be induced. I found this out from someone else.
Sat Night: fb msg from dd that she was starting to dilate.
Sunday Morning: Pieced together information from my ds, and father (through my sister!), that she had dilated a little bit more.
Monday Morning: fb msg that dd was going in for a c-section. After 3 hours, she msgs that we could come to the hospital. I took the day off work, my husband came from work, and dd was already at home. My ds was working. I grabbed up a meal I had made them (her favorite), and we went to the hospital. On the way there, she texts her sister: "I can't eat that" and "you can't see the baby, he's in NICU". Gah!! Wtf?? She didn't answer my msg about what room she was in, so we go to find her. Knock gently on the door.....and wait. Pretty soon I hear the nurse say she'll come and get us, to just wait in the waiting room. Ok, so we go and sit down there and wait for about half an hour. Son in law finally comes out, first thing he tells us we can stay for only 20 min. I hug him and we say congratulations.
We go in - I give her a hug, we talk a little. Son in law keeps looking at his watch, so I do too, to show him I'm paying attention to the time. Baby is doing fine, just being observed. Then son in law tell us his parents (who live 2 hours away), had been in to visit before us that morning. Dd shows me pictures that sil took on his phone in the delivery room, and there was a really cute face-on picture, but she said I couldn't have it. We stayed exactly 20 min & left.
Dh went back to work. Younger dd & I went to the flower shop and had a cute display made, complete with teddy bear, chocolate bar, & bubble gum cigar. Went back up - tried to give it to one of the nurses - she said: "oh, you're mom, you can give it to her". I'm trying to keep up with her as she's walking towardsthe room, saying no, I don't think we better do that. She disappears in the room, she says "your mom has something for you!" - there is at least 30 secondsof complete silence, so I whisper through the door: "I just have a gift - I'll drop it off and leave". So dd says ok. Dash in, leave the flowers, no thank you's, barely a smile, and I scurry out the door!
Didn't hear anything rest of the day.
Tuesday Morning - Go back to work. Mid-morning, I call & leave a msg.
Tuesday Afternoon - dd msgs me later in the day that baby will be out ofNICU by early evening. I asked how things are going, being as sweet and supportive as possible. No reply.
Wednesday Morning (today) - msg from dd that they are all 3 at home and settling in.. I ask how things are going, if there's anything they need. Dinner maybe? I offer to drop it off, but not disturb them. Dd says she "is really sore, can hardly walk, and it will be awhile before any visitors".
I think maybe some humor would help, so I say "Welcome Home!", and "It looks like I'm going to be the first grandma that will see her grandbaby when he's a month old, lol!"
INSTANT REPLY (fastest one yet): "What is that supposed to mean??"
So I tell her that it means that this has been a very special time for her, and that I wished I could have shared more of it with her. That I'm a first time grandma, and I'm being impatient, I know, and I'm sorry.....but that I really am glad to hear they are well and home. I ask how her kitties are handling it.
Haven't heard from her since.
Now I know they are tired, and she is sore, and I totally get it that they need time alone. Her hormones are all over the place, she's breastfeeding.....and I knew before that this may be the situation.
BUT, does this seem at all normal to you guys?? Dh is pretty upset, but not saying much. Her sister doesn't understand. I just plaster a smile on my face and go on, but it's hard, lemme tell ya. People asking to see pictures of the baby, or ask questions, and I don't have any to show and haven't seen baby at all.
HELP!! Any suggestions or ideas? Obviously, we are not welcome, I have no idea why.....but what do I DO?