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Can't forgive

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:36 AM
  • 9 Replies

 

Poll

Question: How would you feel?

Options:

I would feel hurt and betrayed - but talk it over with her

I would let it go as a careless comment

I would feel hurt and betrayed - and probably I'd never speak to her again


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 11

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A few years ago, I was very deeply in love with someone from work - it ended disastrously, and wounded me to my soul.

I shared the story with my aunt. She responded by saying, "Well, it was just pride because he preferred someone else to you..."

I have hardly spoken to her since.

How would you feel?

 

by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:36 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:01 AM
1 mom liked this

It depends on your relationship with her. Do you feel she loves you or is she usually hostile? While thoughtless, it might have been her way of saying, get over it quick. It's just your pride (ego) that's hurt and otherwise has nothing to do with you, so stop letting it eat at you. That kind of thing. To help you get over it and move on.

lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:20 AM

I think because you are the one hurting you felt she should have been compassionate to you. She said what she feels. That is not something you can change. You don't have to agree or like it. I think its childish to end your relationship over it. Be a grownup and talk to her about it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:30 AM
Why isn't there an option for ... Maybe she is right and I'm acting like a huge baby about it all.
Twisties34
by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:30 AM

My first thought is you need to grow up. Cutting off a member of your family because you disliked hearing the truth. Your pride was hurt by your colleagues dismissal of your feelings, your aunt was just trying to make you see that. His rejection of you as a partner does not diminish your beauty and character, but the way it sounds he treated you says a lot about him as a person. Be thankful you escaped that, and let the right person come into your heart and life. Love yourself for the unique person you are and use this experience as a stepping stone to better and brighter things

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:40 AM
:-) I was looking for that option, too. Gathering from the aunt's comment I'd guess there was some love triangle here and the other girl "got" him and he was playing both sides. If this was a dear husband who died and the end of a great love story, then aunt's comments would be insensitive and hurtful. But it sounds kind of exactly like she said.

Quoting Anonymous: Why isn't there an option for ... Maybe she is right and I'm acting like a huge baby about it all.
BL2010
by BL on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:33 AM

I guess it would depend on how old I was/am and what the circumstance were. Though I'd just move forward and not keep dwelling on it. I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by what she said, unless she's just a mean spirited person.

Ally_Oop
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:14 AM

Quoting Anonymous: Why isn't there an option for ... Maybe she is right and I'm acting like a huge baby about it all.

Well, actually - this sort of comment, and being told to 'grow up' are, first of all, very patronising, and also sweeping and dismissive. I have revealed very little about the situation on here, and all I am willing to reveal now is that my relationship with my aunt has been a hurtful one which at times has bordered on the abusive. As for making comments and wild assumptions about the relationship with this man - well, how can you? Again, I've revealed little about it, and if people here are going to jump to such unfounded, arrogant conclusions based on no evidence whatsoever, then I shall refrain from revealing any more about the situation. Or any other. Thank you to BL2010 for the one sensible comment on here. It is quite telling that some of the others on here posted as 'anonymous'.   

 

BL2010
by BL on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:31 AM

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Your aunt doesn't sound like a very nice person so in that I would stay away from her as much I as could. You don't need people like that in your life.

It's not easy when you lose someone you love no matter what the circumstances, but I still say we need to move forward and try not to dwell to much on the past. It till get better.

Quoting Ally_Oop:

Quoting Anonymous: Why isn't there an option for ... Maybe she is right and I'm acting like a huge baby about it all.

Well, actually - this sort of comment, and being told to 'grow up' are, first of all, very patronising, and also sweeping and dismissive. I have revealed very little about the situation on here, and all I am willing to reveal now is that my relationship with my aunt has been a hurtful one which at times has bordered on the abusive. As for making comments and wild assumptions about the relationship with this man - well, how can you? Again, I've revealed little about it, and if people here are going to jump to such unfounded, arrogant conclusions based on no evidence whatsoever, then I shall refrain from revealing any more about the situation. Or any other. Thank you to BL2010 for the one sensible comment on here. It is quite telling that some of the others on here posted as 'anonymous'.   



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:36 AM

Your aunt was probably right.  Swallow your pride.  Family is family. 

I already see you are defensive about this type of answer though.  You are only looking for someone to take your side and not seeing another side to the situation.  Nothing will resolve that way. 

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