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The word "hate"....do you use it?

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:41 AM
  • 34 Replies
3 moms liked this
I will admit that obviously I'm not perfect, nor do I care to be, and I use the word hate sometimes.
I seriously try not to ever, especially around our kids. It's not that I'm prudish or anything, I just feel like that's such a strong word. I feel like if a person hates something that that's something they feel so deplorable about that the word hate applies, other than that that word is too strong.
Anyone else agree or see what I mean? We always tell our children that we dislike something or we aren't fond of something.
by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:41 AM

  I do not esp when referring to people.

Bookwormy
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 12:45 AM
About people i agree. About inanimate objects, I'm not as concerned.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2014 at 5:23 AM

I call it like I see it. "Hate" is just another word in the dictionary and I see no reason to sugar coat how you feel by playing with words.

LDavis33
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 8:14 AM
1 mom liked this

That word is banned in our home, for the same reason you mentioned in your post.  It was the first word that my DS4 ever learned was a "bad" word.  I have slipped a few times, but just like the times I accidentally curse in front of my kids, I explain that mom said a bad word and she shouldn't have and she is sorry.

That being said, I was once reading a Winnie The Pooh book to my son and Eeyore said the word "hate", I then had to explain to my son that even donkeys make mistakes.  


Tracys2
by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 8:20 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't feel hate about much. Ignorance, prejudice, people being in pain...

People are never "hate"d, nor are they stupid, worthless, etc. Things people love are not insulted. I have been known to call my computer "stupid", but we do try to avoid using strong words unless they are warranted. Otherwise, words become kind of meaningless and you can't express degree at all.

Mommy2Bri425
by New Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this

 I use it and I use it often. It's just a word and I find it pretty annoying how much people put into that word. I said something one day was told "don't use that word around me".

I'm more about actions. I can say I hate everything all day, every day but if I act the complete opposite, the word means nothing. Just the same with love. You can say that you love a person and treat them like garbage. You can say that you love to do something  yet never do it. It's a word and it means nothing without actions behind it.

So yeah, I used the word all of the time and I have no intentions on stopping. I don't tell my child that it's a bad word because to me, it's just a word. Like the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. I'd rather a person show me rather than tell me.

butzi
by Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 1:26 PM

#1 I don't tell my kids not to use the word. I don't think that I can have a real understanding of their feelings, if I don't allow them to express honestly how they are feeling

#2 we talk about words that solve problems and words that hurt feelings.  If I think that a word doesn't solve problems we talk about what is causing the problem, and how to solve it.The truth of the matter though, is that sometimes you can't solve the problem without hurting some feelings.  My late mother in law used to use the *N* word to describe people of color.  It was very hard to get her to understand, that it didn't matter if she "didn't mean any thing by it, it was just the word that was (culturally) acceptable when and where she was growing up." I asked her if I called her a bitch, but then said I don't mean anything by it, wouldn't that still hurt her feelings. She kind of saw  my point but did not change her behavior. One day she used the word in front of my then 4 year old. My daughter said, "Nanny, that is a word that only hurts feelings, it never solves problems!" At first my mother in law had her feelings a little hurt being corrected by a child. Over time however she saw that it was time to change that behavior.

#3 there are things I hate... bigotry, war, social injustice... I don't use the word in talking about my feelings toward people. I have also tried to help my kids express their feelings in a more helpful way. If they were to tell me something like, "I hate that Jimmy, he's so mean to me on the bus." I would try to help them find ways that they can solve their problem with Jimmy.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2014 at 1:32 PM

Yes, it is a four letter word, but NOT a "four" letter word.  People are crazy now.  Be glad your kid is not cussing. 

MommyLehr
by Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 1:32 PM
All the time.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2014 at 1:33 PM

I totally agree. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I call it like I see it. "Hate" is just another word in the dictionary and I see no reason to sugar coat how you feel by playing with words.


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