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Am I just being ungrateful??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 101 Replies
1 mom liked this
My parents suggested DD and I move in with them so that they can help out with DD and so I didn't have to worry about anything financially so I can go back to school fulltime. I'm taking a full load at school and it kicks my butt!! I know people who don't have any children and wouldn't take as many classes as I'm taking. Anywho my dad doesn't watch dd that often but when he does he loves it and he doesn't really ask when I'll be finished because he knows I have a lot to do. Well my mom on the other hand makes it seem like watching dd is a burden. When she watches her she gives me a set time to be back no matter what and she tells me I need to leave the house by 8am (on the weekends) or else she won't watch her. If I'm busy doing homework or something and dd needs something, she'll tell dd to come ask me when she could have easily gotten it for her. If my mom is in the kitchen and dd ask her to get a cup out of the cabinet she'll tell dd to come find me so I can get it for her. If my mom just warmed something up in the microwave and dd wants her to warm something up for her, she'll tell her she can't do it and to come get me. Don't get me wrong, my mom will watch her for a few hrs sometimes, on the weekend. But it's literally like as soon as she stops babysitting she refuses to do anything.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2014 at 6:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nurse1997
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep you are ungrateful!

momofthem311
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:50 PM
14 moms liked this
No she isn't. Her own mother offers to help but then treats her like crap. A mother, a grandmother wouldn't do that. She would help and that's that, as long she's not being taken advantage of and it doesn't sound the OP is doing that at all. Ungrateful, no, frustrated, YES!

You don't offer help to someone and then put all kinds of rules on them and make them feel like crap, especially when you're family.

Quoting nurse1997:

Yep you are ungrateful!

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 7:53 PM

Nothing was stated about babysitting she was told she could live their rent free big difference ! Quoting momofthem311: No she isn't. Her own mother offers to help but then treats her like crap. A mother, a grandmother wouldn't do that. She would help and that's that, as long she's not being taken advantage of and it doesn't sound the OP is doing that at all. Ungrateful, no, frustrated, YES! You don't offer help to someone and then put all kinds of rules on them and make them feel like crap, especially when you're family.
Quoting nurse1997:

Yep you are ungrateful!


momofthem311
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 8:17 PM
They offered to help because they knew she was going to school full time. Are you really saying her parents offered to help because of that reason, knowing their grandchild would be living there too and never expected to babysit?

Quoting nurse1997:
Nothing was stated about babysitting she was told she could live their rent free big difference ! Quoting momofthem311: No she isn't. Her own mother offers to help but then treats her like crap. A mother, a grandmother wouldn't do that. She would help and that's that, as long she's not being taken advantage of and it doesn't sound the OP is doing that at all. Ungrateful, no, frustrated, YES!

You don't offer help to someone and then put all kinds of rules on them and make them feel like crap, especially when you're family.

Quoting nurse1997:

Yep you are ungrateful!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 9, 2014 at 8:18 PM
Well I did say they wanted me to move in so they could help me with dd AND so I didn't have to worry about finances.

Quoting nurse1997:
Nothing was stated about babysitting she was told she could live their rent free big difference ! Quoting momofthem311: No she isn't. Her own mother offers to help but then treats her like crap. A mother, a grandmother wouldn't do that. She would help and that's that, as long she's not being taken advantage of and it doesn't sound the OP is doing that at all. Ungrateful, no, frustrated, YES!

You don't offer help to someone and then put all kinds of rules on them and make them feel like crap, especially when you're family.

Quoting nurse1997:

Yep you are ungrateful!

indiamom3
by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like grandma is worried about being taken advantage of.  I think it's ridiculous to make your dd come and find you for a cup!  Maybe you could sit down with her and reassure her that you will not overstep your boundaries with childcare, and what would she like as far as a routine?  It IS wonderful that they are supporting you while you work hard to make life better, but it seems like mom is taking this whole thing a bit too far.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 9, 2014 at 11:59 PM
4 moms liked this

I don't think you are if they  asked you  to  move in with the understanding  that they would help.    Try this.... see if  you   can call a friend and explain  what is going  on.   Have your friend  come over  to  watch  your DD  right about the time  your mom  decides  she is done watching  her.  Then  when your  mom  wants to know why  your  friend  is over   just tell her that  she is watching  DD  so  you  can finish studying.  Maybe  that will shame  her.   If  my  DD was staying  with me   and  taking  on the workload  you  are I would  have  no  problem   watching  her  boys.   I miss having  babies to take care of.

Mblessesd4x
by Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:04 AM

Slightly ungrateful yes, It's their home and it was your choice to accept the help and live under their rules knowing how they are. Its understandable that you're frustrated though because its stressful living with parents no matter what. You have 2 options though. Deal with it or move out. Which is more important to you?

sissyboogs
by Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:04 AM

So, your parents watch your daughter while you're at class, and they continue to watch her while you're at home doing homework? When are you responsible for your daughter? 

Don't get me wrong, I think it's silly to make her find you to get a cup, but at the same time, I think if you're expecting your parents to watch your daughter at all times whether you're home or not, then that is bordering on taking advantage of them. 

I guess the real question is--how much are you doing for your daughter versus how much are you expecting them to do for her? 

Connie04
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 12:49 AM
It just seems silly that your mom would be like that. Yes, she babysits, but she is still the grandma do why not continue to do some things for her grandchild if you happen to be busy at the moment? I am imagining what my mom would be like and she definitely would not act like that. Maybe have a talk with her and see if she is concerned about being taken for granted.....
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