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Co-parent w/fiancé & XH

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:40 AM
  • 5 Replies
So need some advice on negative comment made by my fiancé about my XH. I understand that he may not like my XH because he listens to me & hears my drama that my XH brings. However I find it unexceptable for my fiancé to make a negative comment where my son would hear. In this case my son didn't hear & although we don't live together I worry that when we do. I don't want us to bash each other's ex's for the respect of our kids & trust we're trying to build & lost due to a careless comment. Just feel that venting about each ex's should be done in private.

I don't think I'am asking a lot for that respect but also have to deal w/my XH for the next 15YRS so I try to have a fair relationship w/my XH & since my fiancé relationship w/his ES isn't there I don't think he understands. How do you balance a new relationship w/a negative fiancé & XH. Not asking them to be best friends just be an adult.
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:40 AM
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Replies (1-5):
ninamsi
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:38 AM
1 mom liked this
The only thing you can do is ask. We have to consider the other person in any relationship. Too many of only see our point of view and forget that a child may be listening and watching us.
MommyChance
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I would sit down and come up with some ground rules involving your son. Just say, hey we are getting married I wanna be on the same page regarding DS. Don't be accusatory, just lay our your parenting plan and style.
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 9:36 AM
You shouldn't be talking to your fiance about your ex. Why would you think he wants to hear that?
Easiest way to deal with it? Don't brink another adult into the picture while you're raising your child.
Jp_wine
by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 7:44 PM
Wow Erie, I've been divorced 8yrs so I never bring any man around my son. However if I'm planning on marrying I would hope I'd marry my best friend and no matter what I'd say I think there would be respect for one another.

Agree with you to a point on never bringing a man around my son. Just venting on some obstacle's I've never encountered. Now that my son older, trying to confirm validity in my situation.
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 8:49 PM
I didnt say dont bring a man around your child. I said dont bring one INTO the picture. Meaning....youve got your hands full with your child and ex husband..do you really have room for more?
Even if he is your best friend, he may not want to hear your vents about the ex husband.
I waited 22 years to marry after my divorce kids are a job in themselves. Didnt need to muddy it up by having the responsibility of a new marriage in the mix.
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