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The Cafe The Cafe

Is it just me?

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:13 PM
  • 13 Replies
Hi everyone,
I've been a SAHM for 2 years now and I find it harder, since becoming a mom, to find new friends. So is it just me or is it harder to find fiends after you became a mom?

Being home all day makes it 10x harder to meet new people but also keep friends. I don't want someone to build a house for me, I just want someone to talk to about nothing and everything with.

So what do you ladies do to make and keep friends?
by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2014 at 1:20 PM

I found it easier. 

indiamom3
by Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 2:25 PM
Join a play group!
Brehi
by Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 2:36 PM

 What happened to the friends you had before you became a sahm?

JakesMom26
by New Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 6:35 PM
Quoting Brehi:

 What happened to the friends you had before you became a sahm?



None of them have kids so they don't really understand that I can't drop everything and go to the bar.
NDADanceMom
by on Apr. 27, 2014 at 7:22 PM
No but i didnt hang out at bars for my socialization before kids very often. I met friends at school and work. I met them at the kids activities after work
libsterdoodle
by Member on Apr. 28, 2014 at 9:31 AM

I understand where you are coming from.  For me, most of my friends outside my family, which I am closest to, always came from work or church.  The same year I became a SAHM we moved several states away from all my family and friends.  I was stuck in the house with the kids and it was hard initially to make friends.  I am quie different than a lot of the people here.  My closest friend now is a woman that I met that is a soccer mom, our kids were all on the same team a few years ago and we hung out so much at the soccer field that I invited them over once for a cookout.  Since then our entire family is BFF's, our daughters are close, our sons are close, our husbands have a lot in common and they all adore our newest baby!!  I got really lucky!!!  I would suggest that you look into local play groups, try to find women with similar interests as your own!  Chat it up with other women that you know are SAHM within your school community.  I found it easy to meet other moms through the school's PTA, I volunteer at all the functions and within the school and it opens a lot of doors to new people.  The isolation involved with being a SAHM can be very difficult.  I had a really hard time the first year, I felt like I never left the house.  Sometimes inviting people into your home is the easiest because then you are on comfortable ground!!  I wish you luck!!!!

nyomismama
by on Apr. 28, 2014 at 10:44 PM
It's always hard to keep the same friends after having kids, even more so when they themselves don't have children. I just think of it as my child is What's important and if I have friends I do, but if I don't I don't. There's always time to make friends... but your children only get to grow up once
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it's easy to find a superficial connection with other mothers (how old is yours etc) but I do think it's harder to form genuine connections because the friendship can never have your full attention like your friendships would have prior to having children. You're always half paying attention to the kids, or getting interrupted to make a snack or something.

Arwynn
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:32 AM
Yeah.
Similar things happen to most of us I think.

We homeschool so I'm always with the boys but we are part of 2 co-ops. Even though you are not "schooling" necessarily many co-ops have younger kids. Ours range from 3-17ish in age of kids. Might be something to look at in your area. Or try going to the park at the same time every day and see who is there and how they handle their kids.

You just need to get out and put yourself out there (gee. That sounds like dating advice!)

Quoting JakesMom26:
Quoting Brehi:

 What happened to the friends you had before you became a sahm?



None of them have kids so they don't really understand that I can't drop everything and go to the bar.
3_girls_86
by Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 2:34 AM
Way harder. The friends I did have quit coming around because they dont have kids. I just sit at home with my girls
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