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The Cafe The Cafe

How do Cafe Moms feel about Weekend Visits for a 12 mnth old .

Posted by on May. 7, 2014 at 8:44 PM
  • 50 Replies
Just received notice the Father of our Grandaughter Wants visitation from Friday thru Sunday.He has her every Sunday from 10:00- 6:00 now..I feel it can be very damaging for her age, as she's going to be 12 months.She has never stayed anywhere overnight and she's only had visits with her Dad since January...I.would like Mothers and Dads to I'm not biased opinions..As a parent When my children were babies I would never allow it...I feel there's a Big difference for a baby to take a nap and wake up in a strange place...compared to 3:00am and she's expecting that person who's always been there...The father has NEVER ask one question about his daughter since he started visits in January she was already 7 months old,She still hides in my shoulder when he goes to take her from me for a visit...would Love some feedback and your experience as I have none on this matter...
by on May. 7, 2014 at 8:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2014 at 8:46 PM
He's her dad of course she should be able to stay the weekend with him
NDADanceMom
by on May. 7, 2014 at 8:54 PM

If my husband and I divorced I imagine he would have 50% custody of our 6 month old.  he is no less of a parent than I am.  If I had witheld visitation or if he did not take her half time for whatever reason, when those reasons resolved he would take her.  She breastfeeds now so I guess he would leave her with me more but when she reached a year he would likely tell me to pump while he had her or just to give up breastfeeding.  He loves his kids and would want them as much as possible.

Woodbabe
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2014 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately with modern parenting, these situations arise. He has every right to see his daughter. In a perfect world she'd have both parents living under the same roof, but this is reality. She'll adapt.

gramma747
by Member on May. 7, 2014 at 9:01 PM
My concern is he hasn't asked one question He really knows nothing about her..And he has had a violent history he was in Jail for shooting someone..It scares me..
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 8, 2014 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I am curious, you don't mention your daughter at all, is she in the picture?


You mentioned the father was in jail for shooting someone, what kid of shooting was it? has he express any violence towards famiy members?

Maybe he hasn't asked anything because you are not friendly and he can read you want no part of him in your GD's life?


I know is hard letting go, but maybe you should talk toy him, tell him about her and try to transition instead of just sending her over for the weekend?  try to make life easier, not more complicated.


JMO

randi1978
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 9:51 AM

I always find it funny how when folks don't get the responses they like, they go straight into "oh, such and such did this, this and this".

The child's father has a right to spend as much time with his child as the mother.  The child is young enough at this point to adapt to the schedule and location changes. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 8, 2014 at 10:27 AM

Damaging, no.  50/50 is the best way to have normal children.  The most normal I have seen are the ones that are like that and that the parents get along well and share custody.  He knows nothing about her because no one has let him.  Let the father parent.  Fathers are a major part in a girls upbringing. 

gramma747
by Member on May. 8, 2014 at 10:38 AM
I totally agree with everything your saying..I have tried repeatedly to talk to the father tell him things have a conversation,,all we get is Let's go...And yes he has a history of violence against family,and while in jail he was high risk...I want nothing more than the Mother and Father to be Parents..She is such a good baby I was just wondering if any of you have had problems when they came back,being angry upset...Not trying in any way to Dad bash..and Mom is same 1 day per week visit...
gramma747
by Member on May. 8, 2014 at 10:42 AM
Quoting randi1978:

I always find it funny how when folks don't get the responses they like, they go straight into "oh, such and such did this, this and this".

The child's father has a right to spend as much time with his child as the mother.  The child is young enough at this point to adapt to the schedule and location changes. 

gramma747
by Member on May. 8, 2014 at 10:46 AM
Not true...every time he walks in our door he's met with a smile...we always say here's daddy...We get nothing...She gets nothing....except let's go...I've tried time and again to have a conversation...a joke ....nothing....
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