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Have you ever had to "fire" your Mom or Mother-in-Law from babysitting your child?

Posted by on May. 8, 2014 at 9:07 AM
  • 15 Replies

Have you ever had to "fire" your Mom or Mother-in-Law from babysitting your child? If so, what drove you to the final "You're Fired!"? Your answers could be included in an upcoming post on The Stir.

by on May. 8, 2014 at 9:07 AM
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by Anonymous 1 on May. 8, 2014 at 11:42 AM
Yes, I have had to fire my mom from watching my daughter because my daughter wasn't learning anything and then my mom was asking my daughter personal questions.My mom is a very deceitful person I need to love her from a distance but it's hard being that is my mother.
by on May. 8, 2014 at 11:43 AM
by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:14 PM
No, because they had years of experience raising their own and they taught me a thing or to and heaps more. It all paid off and it cost nothing.
by Member on May. 8, 2014 at 12:20 PM
Yes. She wasn't babysitting so much as when she was spending time with my son I would run errands or something. When my monster-in-law decided to come up with some theory that allergies are not real. My son landed in the ER after she gave him cream cheese. He is allergic to dairy. She isn't allowed to be alone with my son.

She claims she didn't know it was considered dairy. I asked her what part didn't she understand the "cream" or the "cheese" because it screams dairy. Scary thing...she works for the school district in Child Nutrition.
by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:30 PM

Such an interesting question.... MIL watches SS8 on a regular basis and it has created issues.  He isn't "mine" so I don't get to make the call on who babysits.  However, DH and I were discussing having another and I mentioned that her as a babysitter wouldn't fly.  I would find a way to pay for daycare or in home care.  

MIL means well, she really does.  Just has no boundaries and will criticize like none other but not follow her same advice.  Definitely NEVER disciplines SS.  I understand a grandparent is supposed to spoil a grandchild and I am alllll for that as long as it isn't on a daily to weekly basis.  If the grandparent is present that often some discipline has to happen.  SS will literally walk in their house and as he walks in he is taking off his shoes and coat and leaves a trail of destruction.  MIL literally goes behind him and cleans up then mentions to us that he really is a sloppy kid and needs to learn to pick up after himself.  At our place that doesn't fly, you pick it up or I pitch it.  However, the fact that she is babysitting means I (or DH or BM) can not be there all day, thus you need to teach him what you expect in your home.  Even when we have sat him down and told him that isn't acceptable.  He will do fine as long as we are there, like right at drop off, but it goes downhill the second we are out the door.  

I would prefer not to have this battle if/when I have a child of my own, so my plan is to not hire her in the first place.  

by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:47 PM
It's rare when I ask for help from my mom of my MIL. They both told me I was on my own with my kids. LoL. If my MIL takes care of them, it's for max an hour. & they better not make a mess or cry (I have. 1yr old, he's gonna cry). But she's not the one who takes care of them. She leaves them with their Aunts while she locks herself in her room.

My mom just cancels every time I need her. So it's rare.
by on May. 8, 2014 at 3:56 PM

I would love it if my MIL or my mom offered to watch my kids once a year!

by on May. 9, 2014 at 9:05 AM

I had to fire my MIL from watching my kids!!  We were in a tough situation because she has never really liked me since me and her son starting dating, which was YEARS before we ever had kids!!  When my kids were born my sister was a SAHM so she took care of my kids full time when I went back to work with each of them.  We paid her weekly and it helped her and her husband and it was the perfect situation.  When she passed away suddenly in 2009 my kids were 3 & 4 and never really had anyone else babysit them.  It was a very difficult situation and we didn't want to put them into a daycare environment until they had some time to deal with the loss of my sister.  My MIL stepped up and said that she would watch the kids for us until the end of the following summer and we could put the kids in K and pre-K...  It was a disaster from the start.  She lived pretty close to where I worked, but to get to both her and my work it was a commute of about 40 minutes.  There were sometimes that I would already be half way to dropping them off in the morning and she would call me and tell me that she decided to come to our house that day.  She would go out of her way to make me late to work all the time.  She would keep the kids longer than she was supposed to and not tell me where they were going.  She smoked in the car while they were in there with her and my son got car sick all the time because he is sensitive to the smell, she would be so angry about the mess it made from him getting sick, but she wouldn't stop smoking in the car with him.  It would make me so mad, I would take it to my husband and he would end up defending his mom in the situation, because he never really saw or experienced the way she was treating me, so it put a lot of tension and stress on our marriage at the time.  And I was having a hard time dealing with the loss of my sister too, so it was rough.  It ended really badly!!!  Looking back I wish we had never had her watch the kids at all....

by on May. 9, 2014 at 12:32 PM

Yes, a long time ago. She drove my 3 girls who at the time were 3,4, and 6 without seat belts even after my oldest protested and reminded her they always have to be buckled in and mommy would be mad if we weren't buckled. My MIL told them not to tell mommy and they would be fine. I found out 3 weeks later when my 3 yr old accidentally slipped after going through the Starbucks drive through. I pulled into a parking spot in order to give them their drinks. I told my 4 yo to unbuckle and come up front to grab the drinks and my youngest said,"Ooooohhhh! That's what grandma did!"I was confused until my 4 yo old yelled "We weren't supposed to tell mommy that!" I then got the whole story. I was beyond livid. I later asked my oldest what had happened and she just cried. She said, "I don't want to say cause you're gonna want to kill grandma!" Disgusting she put my kids in danger, told them to lie to me, and caused that kind of heartache for my girls where they felt like they had to protect the person that put them in danger.

That was the straw that broke the back where she was concerned. A lot of other things like not following my directives for their nutrition especially where food allergies were concerned, asking them inappropriate questions, saying not nice things about me to them, telling them she was going to take them for the summer or holidays without talking to my husband or myself first when she knows I'd never have allowed it and knowing if she told the kids first, they'd beg us and put us in the position to say no and be the "bad guys"; were all things that led to that. That was the last time she was ever permitted to have them alone for a visit and just recently she has been removed from our lives all together after her disgusting behavior at Easter. It is really sad, but she did it to herself. 

by Anonymous 2 on May. 9, 2014 at 1:14 PM

Unfortunately, yes. It was back when my mom was a drinker. I had to tell her I wasn't okay with her drinking while she was watching my children and that I had to let her go. She was putting them in the car and driving around with them after drinking and that just wasn't acceptable either. Thankfully, she eventually stopped drinking but I didn't need a sitter anymore. 

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