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What would you ladies do - SIL (PIOG)?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

A little background, DH has two sisters (one older, one younger), their mother died when DH was a teenager. His older sister lives over 12 hours away, his younger sister lives 1.5hour away she also has two young daughters who DH loves to death.Last year we dealt with a lot of stuff from his grandparents estate (all of them were executors as well). DH older sister was not involved at all (Being so far away) except to ocassionally sign stuff, DH younger sister was barely involved as well, leaving DH to do most of the work. Since DH was working most of the time, he asked me to go, do paperwork, and meet with the lawyer.

His YS was constantly wanting DH (or me) to do stuff for her including get her tag done (which we had to drive back and forth 5 different times for, due to her tag being a tribal tag which is a little different and her car still being in their grandmothers name,). Last May, his YS and her husband (who was deployed at this point) were buying a house. His YS was wanting me to fax her a piece of paper (from their grandparents estate) she should have already had a copy of (from their lawyer, I had NO access to a fax machine nor a car to get to one. SO and i were fighting that day so i was really pissed (this is before we were married).

I text her these exact words "I love you and the girls, but i cannot deal with this right now, please in the future ask your brother or (their estate lawyer) about these types of things."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"


"You've always had your nose in this since the beginning, now all the sudden you don't want anything to do with it, i was only dealing with you because it was easier then dealing with (her brother) or (the lawyer). Your a bitch"

(at this point i was even more pissed and didn't care "It's really funny how you want to be nice when you want something (like your tag done) but whenever i say no, you call me a bitch, that's real classy"

"Whatever, fuck you"

So, we haven't talked since then (I said maybe two words to her when she came to town and got their birthday and Christmas presents, in Jan.), she knows I'm pissed at her. We didn't invite her when we got married, that was DH choice (it was a VERY small ceremony, only 6 people including me and DH). Now DH wants to go see his niece's, i told him to go ahead and go, but he wants me to go with him but i refused, due to his sister. We got into a argument, he thinks since i married him (which she doesn't even know) that i should tolerate her for him and because he doesn't want to go alone. I don't feel like i should have to.

What do you ladies think? For the record, all my family loves him and my mom treats him like a son.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 10, 2014 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 11, 2014 at 8:39 AM

I would go.  My husband would see Im the mature one, and not the one causing problems.  I would be nice.  There is no harm in being a kind and forgiving person.  It will not hurt you.  Being a bitch to his friends and family however can cause him to lose respect for you. 

by Ruby Member on May. 11, 2014 at 6:28 PM
I wouldn't go. But I also wouldn't have been involved doing all the stuff you did either.
by on May. 11, 2014 at 9:58 PM

I'd go because it makes you look like the bigger person in his eyes. Put on the fake smile and be gracious. Suck it up sista. Welcome to marriage. 

I hate to put it so bluntly, but that's the truth. 

by Member on May. 11, 2014 at 10:01 PM
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Her children will be the ones to suffer if you cut her off. They deserve to have an aunt
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by Kayla on May. 11, 2014 at 11:16 PM

If it were me, I'd go. If only to support him and to see his nieces. Be the bare minimum of civil with the sister and let it be. Who knows, maybe she'll apologize. Even if she doesn't I'd just do what I could to make things go smoothly. I would, however, let my husband know that I would not put up with or take any rudeness or bitchiness from the sister.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 12, 2014 at 12:37 AM


by Anonymous 2 on May. 12, 2014 at 9:46 PM
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 If it were me I would tell my dh to have fun and have a safe trip. If he wants to go great but you shouldn't have to be around a person who so blatantly is disrespectful especially since you went out of your way to help her on multiple occasions.

by on May. 12, 2014 at 9:55 PM

I agree.

Quoting rgba: Her children will be the ones to suffer if you cut her off. They deserve to have an aunt

by on May. 12, 2014 at 10:00 PM
He is a grown man capable of going to visit family on his own. And since HE married YOU, he shouldn't put his wife or want to put his wife in an abusive situation perpetrated by HIS sister. There's no fight to be had here, this is easy. The husband should tell his sister that you are his priority and she should "tolerate" you! The very first thing that needs to be said to the sister is that she will never swear at you again.
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 7:52 AM
I would not go.

I hope she apologizes to you bc my mother would always get in fights with family members and estrange us (as kids) from the group until it got so tiny that her brother is the only person at Xmas and everything. So maybe eventually you'll want to reach out and say that she really hurt your feelings and if she is sorry you can move on.
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