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I am not getting you a wedding gift!

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:21 PM
  • 75 Replies

We are spending almost $1500 for a trip to make it home for my sisters wedding.  

She just asked me if I was getting her a gift.  I laughed and said no, being there is the gift.  

She got all pissy with me over it and just told me she will talk to me later.  

Am I in the wrong telling her that us paying to make it to her wedding is a gift?

by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
WickedOpal
by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:28 PM
5 moms liked this

I don't understand why people think just being there is a gift.  Sorry, you eating the food you didn't pay for and attend a party you didn't pay for is not a gift, it's receiving one.  So, you get a vacation to visit home and get to enjoy yourself at a celebration that you didn't pay for and expect to NOT give even a small token of your thanks?  I don't think I will ever understand this mentality.  Sounds very entitled to me. 

Bird_on_a_wire
by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:30 PM
1 mom liked this

The food is potluck.  I will be bringing a dish.  The wedding is at our fathers place as is the reception.  She isn't paying for any of those things.  

Quoting WickedOpal:

I don't understand why people think just being there is a gift.  Sorry, you eating the food you didn't pay for and attend a party you didn't pay for is not a gift, it's receiving one.  So, you get a vacation home and get to enjoy yourself at a celebration that you didn't pay for and expect to NOT give even a small token of your thanks?  I don't think I will ever understand this mentality.  Sounds very entitled to me. 


marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:32 PM
2 moms liked this
Exactly!! You always take a gift to a wedding. No matter how small. It's very concerning to hear people complain the way OP has.

Quoting WickedOpal:

I don't understand why people think just being there is a gift.  Sorry, you eating the food you didn't pay for and attend a party you didn't pay for is not a gift, it's receiving one.  So, you get a vacation to visit home and get to enjoy yourself at a celebration that you didn't pay for and expect to NOT give even a small token of your thanks?  I don't think I will ever understand this mentality.  Sounds very entitled to me. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wingsfan1234
by Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:33 PM
I just told my sister the exact same thing..glad I didn't get that response...although she does understand why in my situation
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:35 PM
5 moms liked this

You shouldn't expect gifts ever.  If she is having a wedding just for gifts I wouldn't attend.  That is rude. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:36 PM
3 moms liked this

I think the bride is an entitled brat. 

Quoting WickedOpal:

I don't understand why people think just being there is a gift.  Sorry, you eating the food you didn't pay for and attend a party you didn't pay for is not a gift, it's receiving one.  So, you get a vacation to visit home and get to enjoy yourself at a celebration that you didn't pay for and expect to NOT give even a small token of your thanks?  I don't think I will ever understand this mentality.  Sounds very entitled to me. 


Pink.Frosting
by New Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:38 PM

Ha!  If she wanted to get an attitude with me over I could very easily just not come and use those travel expenses for a fun vacation instead.

Bird_on_a_wire
by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I think she thinks we are made of money or something.  But right now I have just enough saved up to get there.  That doesn't include added expenses on the way.  

Quoting wingsfan1234: I just told my sister the exact same thing..glad I didn't get that response...although she does understand why in my situation


ColieO
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:41 PM
5 moms liked this
There was never one moment while I was planning my wedding that I thought "gee, I hope we get enough gifts in return to make up for this." I just wanted my family there to celebrate. I didn't throw a party and expect people to pay admission.

Quoting WickedOpal:

I don't understand why people think just being there is a gift.  Sorry, you eating the food you didn't pay for and attend a party you didn't pay for is not a gift, it's receiving one.  So, you get a vacation to visit home and get to enjoy yourself at a celebration that you didn't pay for and expect to NOT give even a small token of your thanks?  I don't think I will ever understand this mentality.  Sounds very entitled to me. 

WickedOpal
by on Jun. 13, 2014 at 6:55 PM

You should still throw $20 in a card and give it to her.  My wedding wasn't all that either, but we still paid for a lot of the other stuff and it adds up quickly. 

Mine was at my FIL's house but we bought a tent, rented chairs, a couple people brought dishes, but we bought the beef brisket and salad, alcohol, soda, beer, decorations, some family provided the music, and another gave us the ceremony as our gift, etc.  It was frugal, but still not without some expense.  My Aunt and Uncle brought homemade Keilbasa (by homemade, I mean from raw pork to ground, seasoned, and cased to cooked) and still got us a card and put money in it. 

Quoting Bird_on_a_wire:

The food is potluck.  I will be bringing a dish.  The wedding is at our fathers place as is the reception.  She isn't paying for any of those things.  

Quoting WickedOpal:

I don't understand why people think just being there is a gift.  Sorry, you eating the food you didn't pay for and attend a party you didn't pay for is not a gift, it's receiving one.  So, you get a vacation home and get to enjoy yourself at a celebration that you didn't pay for and expect to NOT give even a small token of your thanks?  I don't think I will ever understand this mentality.  Sounds very entitled to me. 



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