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Beyond desperate! Please help!

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 11:19 PM
  • 11 Replies
Ladies, I need your help. My DS is 8 months old and it has hurt to nurse him the entire time. I have seen everyone, been everywhere, treated for everything, and the pain is getting worse.

I have talked to my doctor, a midwife, a lactation consultant, a ENT, and a dentist. The only thing that I can come up with is that he had a very thick, long lip tie, but no one seems to think that is the problem. I go to take DS into an Oral surgeon for a consultation at the end of the month, but I am so desperate and I can't bear waiting that long.

I have treated for mastitis and thrush, but it still hurts. And DS won't take a bottle or sippy cup.

I just spent an hour in the bathroom crying from the pain and frustration. It's so hard! It's not even just while nursing, the pain lasts for hours after. And lately it comes in waves after he is done eating, and the pain is a pins and needles kind of pain... Or like someone is shoving a needle up your nipple and it hurts all the way up, not just the nipple. He keeps cracking it, and I keep putting lanolin or coconut oil on it but it doesn't help. I also have no lumps or bumps in my breasts.

I've tried everything. Prescriptions, natural remedies, creams, oils, nipple shields, ibuprofen, ect. Please, is there anything anyone else can think of??? My only option left is the lip tie, and I don't know if I will be able to get the surgeon to agree to do it :/

P.S. This is my third boy, and I successfully breast fed the other two for a whole year without any problems. I wanted to nurse this guy for even longer then a year, but at thing point I just want to be done :(
by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 11:19 PM
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by on Jul. 15, 2014 at 11:21 PM
Any comments are greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!
by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 1:35 AM
Will he take a bottle at all? I know sometimes babes will not take a bottle from their moms but will from other people. Have you tried a warm compress on your breasts or a warm bath? Do you wear bras with wire in them? Sometimes that can irritate your breasts. How often do you fees him? Is a nipple guard an option?

I'm so sorry this is happening :( it sounds very frustrating. You are a great mom!
by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 1:37 AM
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Remember that you are a great mom no matter what happens. Maybe it would be less stressful on you to decide to not breast feed anymore?
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 6:33 AM

Does he open his mouth wide enough or is his latch shallow? Does he still have the lip tie or was it clipped?

by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 7:04 AM
I don't know much about this but here is a bump...hope you feel better.
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 16, 2014 at 7:41 AM
My little guy wouldn't take a bottle either. I wasn't having pain issues like yourself (I hope you feel better soon!) But I was just mentally done with breastfeeding at 8mos. I tried at 7 months and he wouldn't do it but at 8 months I was really serious and went on strike. Babies know what they like, and when they like breastfeeding milk, they will dig in those cute tiny heels. After a day of no bottle he finally started feeding from a bottle. During that day I made sure I had increased the liquids in his baby food and let him play with a sippy cup with water. I just followed the advice my Dr had given me and made myself tough for it. It wasn't pretty (tantrums) but it was done in a day.
by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:28 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear about your pain.  Clearly something is wrong.  So the way I see it there are 2 paths you can take...

1) Pursue the medical avenue.  You've done this breast feeding twice before... this time is different... the problem could be with a change in your breasts, the way this baby nurses, or both.  Don't take, nothings wrong for an answer... analyze the situation yourself.  You are somewhat of an authority on your breasts and breast feeding.  I feel like you're qualified to know if you feel different from the last two experiences or if the baby is doing something different than the last two or if it just might be both.  Maybe his saliva is super acidic... I don;t know...

Then pursue expert after expert, specialist after specialist.  Google the issue, the way things feel... somehow someway, with just the right key words, you'll come up with some options... pursue them like a blood hound, some where someone has seen this before.

2) The other path you can take is to figure out a way to get him to accept something else. Perhaps its a way to physically shield your nipple, or to express and let the milk run down a tube and he would get both the nipple and the tube in his mouth...  Or maybe he has to go hungry long enough to learn to accept milk in some other fashion...(God forbid)  But in the end, you must both survive. 

Think of it this way, if you cringe at the thought of each feeding, some part of that experience is tainting what should be a bonding experience.  A happy mother is the best thing for a growing child.  You deserve a pain free experience as much as he deserves to be fed.

The airlines say it best... put on your mask, and make sure it's working before assisting others... because in the end a compromised mother, is little help to her child(ren).


by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:42 AM

Get that baby on a bottle.  

When he gets hungry enough, he will take it.

feeding baby

by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:44 AM
Check out the breastfeeding group, those ladies there are a wealth of information and advice.
by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:55 AM

There is clearly a problem and while I always encourage breast feeding, if it's that painful I'd stop if no quick anwer is found.  Have you tried expressing your milk to see if that still hurts as much?  It sounds to me that there is an infection regardless of what the docs have told you.  When you say you have treated for mastitis and thrush do you mean a prescription?  Sounds like you will need meds and will have to stop feeding anyway.  Sorry.  Good luck.

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