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The Cafe The Cafe

Opinions vs Facts.....?

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:08 PM
  • 8 Replies
So we All Have opinions...how to raise our kids, what to feed them, what not to feed them, should they have religion or not, how close will we watch them(helicopter moms vs more lenient moms), public school vs homeschool, being gender strict vs letting them play with and experience all gender type toys and life situations.

Here's my question.....
Are ANY of these things "black and white" right or wrong? Are any of these thing more harmful to a child's development than others, not in your personal opinion but in actual factual research.
For example, being an athiest I'd LOVE to think that exposing my kids to religion would be harmful but I know the more they are exposed to things the more they learn and can make informed decisions. Are any of you that open minded?
Another example, I KNOW that junk food is bad for my kids yet I let them eat some anyway. Yet there are some who may think that some junk food isn't bad at all. I happen to think any amount is bad yet I contradict my knowledge by letting them have some anyway. This isn't a good or bad mom post, it's a "do you feel there are ACTUAL wrong and right things to do" post.
by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel every parent should teach their child to be respectful(of others and oneself) accountable and repsonsible. Children that arent have a very tough life learning this as adults.

momofthem311
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with that 100%!

There are things I feel strongly about, that my kids know I do, but I teach them to not always voice their dismay about things. Not teaching to not voice their feelings but that sometimes, there is a time and place.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I feel every parent should teach their child to be respectful(of others and oneself) accountable and repsonsible. Children that arent have a very tough life learning this as adults.

lissadavis
by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 11:24 AM
I do not judge a light swat on the but. I do pn the other hand judge the many parents i jave seen slap, and hit their children. I also do not care who is on your phone (even potus would understand ) pay attention to your screaming newborn. Seriously people
GertieK
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 1:19 PM

For me, my faith in Christ was the most essential thing to understand, but along with that I believe that kids need to learn that:  everyone has a boss and to respect authority, that there is much greater satisfaction and happiness in earning your way through life rather than being handed your way through life, that boundaries are important and necessary, that showing respect earns you respect, that you do the right thing even when no one sees, that acting in an honorable way at all times is essential, that the world does not revolve around them, that life is hard and never fair but that is ok, to not start fights but to defend themselves if the need arises, that they are responsible for the consequences of their own decisions, that no one owes them anything, that the only rights they have are the ones listed in the Bill of rights and the Constitution, and that they are precious beyond measure to me.  We spanked, we worked hard, we laughed a lot, we expected them to do what they knew was right.... to be honest and fair.... We ate healthy food, with some junk food thrown in for good measure.  We were dirt dog poor, but they say now they had no idea as to how poor we actually were.  They were taught to survive, and how to live.  They are happy, well-adjusted parents raising their kids very similarly.  Parents are so afraid of hurting their kids feelings by saying "no" - but it is essential tnat you do.  Hitting yourt kids is different than spanking your kids.  Anytime you are excessive in one way or another you are going to get negative results.  Too much junk food - bad.  Too much work - bad.  Too little fun - bad.  Too hard of a spanking - bad.  Little taps that don't make an impression - bad.  No responsibilities at home - bad.  Too many responsibilities - bad.  Try to keep life on an even keel - and you should be fine.  Learning that crap happens in life is important - but you don't expect someone else to come rescue you.  Get off of your duff and figure it out.  To love people, and to treat them as you would be treated. 

readyforhim
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 4:14 AM

there is a right and wrong in their behavior towards others and when it can be considered reckless.

there are so many things that we have had conversations about that hopefully guide them to make good decisions.

Clairwil
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 7:04 PM


Quoting momofthem311:

Are ANY of these things "black and white" right or wrong?

Not "black" versus "white".

But, rather "sub-optimal" versus "optimal".

And, even then, only on average - what works for a particular individual may vary.


Which doesn't mean anything goes, and all is equal.

Some people may thrive in even hideous environments.   But, on average, such environments are still very very sub-optimal, and anyone deliberately inflicting them on children should be penalised.

nurse1997
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 8:38 AM

Hi doll  every household is different and you have have to decide what is important to you when it comes to your children!  I like facts and sometimes that gets me in trouble !  

athorne
by Anna on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:19 AM
Same here.
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