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Should I be ticked about this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 32 Replies

We have a pretty extensive video collection, lots of movies purchased as soon as they come out on DVD/Blu-Ray because we don't have cable or go to the movie theater. Anyway, my husband's family... let's just say they tend to not want to give things back and when they do, they look like they've used them as skates over shards of glass and then used them as dessert plates or something as scratched up, sticky and gross as they get. I get the feeling they loan them out to other friends/family. I asked him to stop and he flipped on me and said it's his family and they're his movies, too, so he has the right to lend them out, and who cares if they take a long time bringing them back, don't bring them back, or ruin them? Um, I care because they're not free, they don't belong to those other people, and you're supposed to return things you borrow in the same condition you borrowed it in. He says get over it. Should I be ticked about this? Or is he right and it's just not that big of a deal?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2014 at 3:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rikanajay0902
by on Jul. 21, 2014 at 3:57 PM

I've had this similar situation come up in my house and I was just as ticked as you. Fortunately for me, by SO feels the same way so he agreed with me when I quit loaning things out to his family. You're absolutely right - they're not free and if others can't respect your things enough to take care of them, then I wouldn't let them borrow them either!

Velvetfog
by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 4:49 PM

My family generally doesn't trash stuff but may be the same with borrowing. Small items get passed around to other family members and half the time become a sort of community property, no one remembers who the original owner was so it floats from house to house. I don't know that your husband's family is necessarily like mine but if they are then it's an ingrained feeling about how family is treated and likely to be a touchy issue.   

ladybugchick317
by Charity on Jul. 21, 2014 at 4:51 PM

 I would be pissed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2014 at 4:53 PM

 I told him he can either get on the same page as me on this or I'm going to lock up all the undamaged movies so only the damaged ones will be available for his crappy family to borrow. He said so what, so I spent part of the day moving the newest ones into my closet in the safe in there. He doesn't know the combination and can't access them no matter what. I'm not sure he'll even notice them missing, but I think it's ridiculous that our toddlers handle them better than his grown family.

Quoting rikanajay0902:

I've had this similar situation come up in my house and I was just as ticked as you. Fortunately for me, by SO feels the same way so he agreed with me when I quit loaning things out to his family. You're absolutely right - they're not free and if others can't respect your things enough to take care of them, then I wouldn't let them borrow them either!

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2014 at 4:57 PM

 I've generally only had issues with my family lending out books of mine they'd borrowed from me, but even then they've always come back in the same condition they left me in. Sometimes someone will dog-ear a page, but that's not too big of a deal since these aren't old books I'm lending and the bends can be undone. His family is like that about all sorts of stuff, dishes, clothes, towels, but these movies they're especially careless with.

Quoting Velvetfog:

My family generally doesn't trash stuff but may be the same with borrowing. Small items get passed around to other family members and half the time become a sort of community property, no one remembers who the original owner was so it floats from house to house. I don't know that your husband's family is necessarily like mine but if they are then it's an ingrained feeling about how family is treated and likely to be a touchy issue.   

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2014 at 4:58 PM

 What would you do about it, though? I've locked some up in the safe, but I'd rather not have to treat movies like gold to ensure they don't disappear and get ruined.

Quoting ladybugchick317:

 I would be pissed.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 21, 2014 at 9:12 PM

He is wrong and doesn't want to stand up to his family in tell them not to damage them.  I'm sorry to say he doesn't care what you think and you're in trouble with him siding with his family.

readyforhim
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 4:07 AM

no he is not right and until he says something, they will continue to destroy your belongings.

ladybugchick317
by Charity on Jul. 22, 2014 at 8:38 AM

 Only thing you can do is to keep your movies out of reach somewhere and have your collection and his. Then when he sees that he can't watch anything and you are still watching he might see that it is a bigger problem that he thought.

Quoting Anonymous:

 What would you do about it, though? I've locked some up in the safe, but I'd rather not have to treat movies like gold to ensure they don't disappear and get ruined.

Quoting ladybugchick317:

 I would be pissed.

 

 

GertieK
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:25 AM
3 moms liked this

What I am getting is that they don't have much respect for how hard it is to earn money to pay for the videos.  Do they have jobs?  People who have to pay for what they get generally have more respect for other people's stuff - as well as their own.  Why don't you make them give you a deposit?  I know - that sounds silly, and would probably send them over the moon - but gee whiz.  I work hard every day, and when I spend my money on something - it pisses me off when someone else treats it as though I came by it for free.  AS family, they should have more respect for your stuff, not less.  I couldn't imagine borrowing something from my daughter and then tearing it up or breaking it.  I would go buy her a new one to replace the one I messed up before I would return the original. 

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