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Suspicions of Shenanigans. Advice please?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies
My SO gave his (female) friend a ride somewhere last night. Four hours later he still hadn't come home. I called and texted several times, to which he did not reply. Finally, I get a text saying the car is acting up and he's just gonna go to his parents' house for the night cause it's closer to where he is and he needs to get the car parked. I immediately thought that sounded fishy... Idk exactly what happened, who he was with or where he did spend the night, but it wasn't at his parents'. I have this intense gut feeling that he lied because he was doing something I wouldn't approve of. Once again, I have no idea what.

When he got in this morning, I confronted him and he accused me of accusing him of cheating and stuck to his story. But later on when he was in the shower, I went through his phone. (Shame on me, I know.) What did I see? No texts to his mom announcing his "unexpected visit" and a few messages sent to the friend he supposedly dropped off. I don't know what to do! I'm fairly positive he's a liar and was up to no good but I can't tell him that I went through his phone cause he'd be angry as all get out and I'm not sure what he'd do. I know he loves me and usually he's very honest and straight forward, but I just can't get these thoughts out of my head. Am I being paranoid? Are my suspicions justified? How can I find out the truth? I really don't think he'd cheat but there is a multitude of other things he could have done!!! Someone help me sort through this mess, please? Thank y'all in advance.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 21, 2014 at 4:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
strictmomhere
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 5:18 PM
Ask his mom!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 21, 2014 at 5:49 PM
I thought about that. But what if she tells him I asked? Goes back to goin through his phone... He's gonna wonder why I'm doubting him and sneaking around. Guess I could ask her not to tell him...

Quoting strictmomhere: Ask his mom!
strictmomhere
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 5:55 PM
You are doubting him

Quoting Anonymous: I thought about that. But what if she tells him I asked? Goes back to goin through his phone... He's gonna wonder why I'm doubting him and sneaking around. Guess I could ask her not to tell him...

Quoting strictmomhere: Ask his mom!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 8:56 PM
Go see an attorney and get things in order.
DomsMama07
by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
Ask his mom.. Also, has the car been acting up? If not I'd be suspicious too.. Although I would of already tore him a new one, it doesn't take 4 hours to drop someone off!!
LadySaphira
by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 9:08 PM

call his mom up just to "chat" (if you have that kind of relationship) and work it in somehow like asking her if she had a nice visit with him when he spent the night.

GertieK
by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 10:32 AM
2 moms liked this

This.  You aren't being paranoid.  Rule of thumb is - if your gut is screaming at you - you are probably right.  Sounds like he was feeding you a load of BS.  Becoming defensive and shifting the blame on to you is the tactic of the guilty.  And if it was my husband, I wouldn't give a rat's butt if he knew I went through his phone.  I can pick it up and look through it any time I want anyway - and he can look at mine.  If there are no secrets, there are no secrets.  Not high school any more.

Quoting LadySaphira:

call his mom up just to "chat" (if you have that kind of relationship) and work it in somehow like asking her if she had a nice visit with him when he spent the night.


Vinterland
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:50 AM
That does sound suspicious. I would ask his mother, who cares if he gets mad? He was "dropping someone off" for four hours. Also, is there anything wrong with the car? Wouldn't that mean something needs to be fixed?
DomsMama07
by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 3:44 PM
Update us! Did you call his mom or talk to him again?
EarlGrayHot
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:37 AM

You clearly DO think he would cheat.  If he lied to you and did ANYTHING behind your back then he isn't the loving husband you claim.  Ask his mom casually if she enjoyed his visit.

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