Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

It’s NOT a Compliment to tell me I look so Young

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:40 PM
  • 133 Replies
1 mom liked this

I was in the store shopping for back to school supplies and a lady walked by with her two kids.  She asked me if I was a teacher.  I said no.  She said, "Oh, I thought you were because you didn't have your kids with you.  What grade are your kids in?"

I said I have one going into 3rd grade and one going into 11th grade.

"11th grade!"  She said, "WOW, you look SO young!"

I know she meant it as a complement but it's still annoying to hear it for the 300th time.  Like, do people think I don't know what I look like?  Do they think they're just telling me something I've never heard before? 

But I just said "Yeah, I get that a lot".  She didn't say anything, I bet she probably thought I was going to say "Gee THANKS!" but no, it is NOT a complement to tell me I look so young when it causes such problems in my life.  I'm 37 years old and want to be taken seriously.

It's NOT fun having to beg for help in the department store because the ladies that work there think you are too young to have any money.

It's NOT fun trying to talk to the school administrators about issues concerning your daughter and not being taken seriously.

It's NOT fun when you've taken your daughter to the doctor and he asks "And who are you?"

It's NOT fun when you're walking to work and someone says "Uh, is school out today?" or when the guy at the gym hassles you because he doesn't think you're old enough to have a membership.

It's NOT fun when you can't get a job because you don't look experienced enough.   One time when I went in for an interview, the interviewer looked at me, looked at my resume, looked at me again, then finally asked, When did you graduate high school?  Even though I explained to him that I had graduated ten years ago and had almost ten years of work experience, I didn't get the job.   I get a lot of questioning looks when I go on interviews.

Of course, there's no way I can prove that looking young has affected my ability to get a job or that I was passed over for a promotion, but I have a feeling it has.  A couple of times I have conducted a training session at work and people walk in the room and walk right by me saying "Where's the instructor?"

I always dress professionally, 4" heels, tons of makeup, pull my hair back, etc.  I STILL get comments about my age. 

And NO, I will NOT be glad I look young when I'm 50.  That doesn't help me out any right NOW when I'm trying to deal with my daughter's teacher or trying to get people at work to take me seriously.  And when I'm 50, I'll probably look like I'm 30 and have 30 year olds hitting on me.  The only thing I don't have an issue with is when I get carded, I know they're just doing their job on that one.  But everything else is extremely frustrating. 

One of my friends said to me once "Don't you know the majority of women wish they had your problem?"  I said, "The women that wish they had this problem don't know what it is like to actually have this problem."

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 4, 2014 at 3:50 PM
3 moms liked this

It really is a compliment. 

My dd is super tiny and very young looking.  She has embraced it.  She will be 21 soon and gets asked ALL the time if she wants a kids menu.  She looks 12 or 13.  You can't change what you look like.  Embrace it.  I looked young for a long time too. 

amber3902
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:08 PM

I find it hard to believe your DD LIKES it when she gets offered the kids menu.

Embrace it?  I'll try to remember that next time I get turned down for a job, or passed over for a job promotion, or when my DD's teacher talks down to me.

Please, tell me ONE good thing about looking younger than what you are.  Because I have a hard time thinking of anything.

Quoting atlmom2:

It really is a compliment. 

My dd is super tiny and very young looking.  She has embraced it.  She will be 21 soon and gets asked ALL the time if she wants a kids menu.  She looks 12 or 13.  You can't change what you look like.  Embrace it.  I looked young for a long time too. 


atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:10 PM

She orders from the kids menu a lot because its cheaper too.  I guess she doesn't have any of your adult issues yet.  I guess maybe she will.  She is 4 ft 10, 92lbs and almost 21. 

Quoting amber3902:

I find it hard to believe your DD LIKES it when she gets offered the kids menu.

Embrace it?  I'll try to remember that next time I get turned down for a job, or passed over for a job promotion, or when my DD's teacher talks down to me.

Please, tell me ONE good thing about looking younger than what you are.  Because I have a hard time thinking of anything.

Quoting atlmom2:

It really is a compliment. 

My dd is super tiny and very young looking.  She has embraced it.  She will be 21 soon and gets asked ALL the time if she wants a kids menu.  She looks 12 or 13.  You can't change what you look like.  Embrace it.  I looked young for a long time too. 


atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:13 PM
2 moms liked this


My dd and her roommate. 

amber3902
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:19 PM

Beautiful girls!

Yeah, your DD is going to get pulled over by the police because they won't think she's old enough to drive.  Once time I got pulled over the police and I could see the shock on his face when he walked up to my window.  He talked down to me and wrote me a ticket for something that wasn't my fault.  I had to take off work to fight the ticket in court.

Does your DD have a job yet?  She is going to have a hard time getting a job and being taken seriously at one. 

Does she have a boyfriend?  When I was 19, 14 year old boys would hit on me.


Quoting atlmom2:


My dd and her roommate. 


amber3902
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:21 PM

Okay, LOL, that's one good thing.

Quoting atlmom2:

She orders from the kids menu a lot because its cheaper too.  I guess she doesn't have any of your adult issues yet.  I guess maybe she will.  She is 4 ft 10, 92lbs and almost 21. 

Quoting amber3902:

I find it hard to believe your DD LIKES it when she gets offered the kids menu.

Embrace it?  I'll try to remember that next time I get turned down for a job, or passed over for a job promotion, or when my DD's teacher talks down to me.

Please, tell me ONE good thing about looking younger than what you are.  Because I have a hard time thinking of anything.

Quoting atlmom2:

It really is a compliment. 

My dd is super tiny and very young looking.  She has embraced it.  She will be 21 soon and gets asked ALL the time if she wants a kids menu.  She looks 12 or 13.  You can't change what you look like.  Embrace it.  I looked young for a long time too. 



atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:24 PM

When she was 18 she was pumping gas alone and someone next to her asked her how she drove there, lol.  She said she was 18 and they didn't believe her.  She has pedal extensions on her brake and gas pedal.  She worked at Subway this summer.  She has the same boyfriend since a junior in HS.  They are planning to get engaged sometime next year.  She never really had guys after her.  Shocking but she was actually glad.  She wasn't boy crazy, thank goodness.  Actually, she didn't care for her boyfriend now when they went to prom.  She thought it was a one time deal and over. 

Quoting amber3902:

Beautiful girls!

Yeah, your DD is going to get pulled over by the police because they won't think she's old enough to drive.  Once time I got pulled over the police and I could see the shock on his face when he walked up to my window.  He talked down to me and wrote me a ticket for something that wasn't my fault.  I had to take off work to fight the ticket in court.

Does your DD have a job yet?  She is going to have a hard time getting a job and being taken seriously at one. 

Does she have a boyfriend?  When I was 19, 14 year old boys would hit on me.

Quoting atlmom2:


My dd and her roommate. 


nurse1997
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it is what it is you don't have to prove any thing to anyone say thank you and move on !!

amber3902
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:49 PM
Working at subway people probly assume she's just a young looking teenager. She'll have problems with an office job or anything in the medical field.

Quoting atlmom2:

When she was 18 she was pumping gas alone and someone next to her asked her how she drove there, lol.  She said she was 18 and they didn't believe her.  She has pedal extensions on her brake and gas pedal.  She worked at Subway this summer.  She has the same boyfriend since a junior in HS.  They are planning to get engaged sometime next year.  She never really had guys after her.  Shocking but she was actually glad.  She wasn't boy crazy, thank goodness.  Actually, she didn't care for her boyfriend now when they went to prom.  She thought it was a one time deal and over. 

Quoting amber3902:

Beautiful girls!

Yeah, your DD is going to get pulled over by the police because they won't think she's old enough to drive.  Once time I got pulled over the police and I could see the shock on his face when he walked up to my window.  He talked down to me and wrote me a ticket for something that wasn't my fault.  I had to take off work to fight the ticket in court.

Does your DD have a job yet?  She is going to have a hard time getting a job and being taken seriously at one. 

Does she have a boyfriend?  When I was 19, 14 year old boys would hit on me.

Quoting atlmom2:

My dd and her roommate. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:55 PM

She's majoring in finance. 

Quoting amber3902: Working at subway people probly assume she's just a young looking teenager. She'll have problems with an office job or anything in the medical field.
Quoting atlmom2:

When she was 18 she was pumping gas alone and someone next to her asked her how she drove there, lol.  She said she was 18 and they didn't believe her.  She has pedal extensions on her brake and gas pedal.  She worked at Subway this summer.  She has the same boyfriend since a junior in HS.  They are planning to get engaged sometime next year.  She never really had guys after her.  Shocking but she was actually glad.  She wasn't boy crazy, thank goodness.  Actually, she didn't care for her boyfriend now when they went to prom.  She thought it was a one time deal and over. 

Quoting amber3902:

Beautiful girls!

Yeah, your DD is going to get pulled over by the police because they won't think she's old enough to drive.  Once time I got pulled over the police and I could see the shock on his face when he walked up to my window.  He talked down to me and wrote me a ticket for something that wasn't my fault.  I had to take off work to fight the ticket in court.

Does your DD have a job yet?  She is going to have a hard time getting a job and being taken seriously at one. 

Does she have a boyfriend?  When I was 19, 14 year old boys would hit on me.

Quoting atlmom2:


My dd and her roommate. 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)