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Why does HE expect me to provide for his children?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I have been with my BF for a little over a year now, I have 3 DS from my prior marriage and he has 3 DS and 2 DD from prior relationships. When I first met him he would send his DS clothes n such and send his oldest DD money so I ASSumed that he was a good father and did more for them than just child support. After a few months he moved in and I was relieved because being a single mom I really needed the help, a few months later one of his DD moved in. He still hadn't found work at the time but I managed. Last month his 2 teenage DS moved in as well I told him before they moved in that he HAD to contribute to the household if just to feed them. Well you can guess how that went since I am posting on here... He has worked and brought to the table maybe $800 in the past year anything else has been by myself alone. He worked 3 weeks and came up with a lame excuse why he couldn't work there anymore I have been the one to buy Christmas presents and Birthdays etc. I would ask for food benefits but come to find out HE WASNT the father he tried to appear to be so he is afraid that he will go to jail if I apply for them School starts in three weeks and I am so stressed and frankly at my wits end he doesn't worry and could careless that I am behind on bills because of buying all the extra food etc... What angers me to the point of near heart attack is if I send him to the store he ALWAYS comes back with some lil "surprise" for his DD ummmm hello if anyone gets anything EXTRA I feel it should be my boys because they shouldn't have to go with less when I am the one providing and I am a maintenance tech so I bust my butt to do so. I do love his children dearly and know they want to be with him my boys like him a lot and have bonded with his boys but, I am sinking and he's just watching me drown... Silly me for thinking he loved me THIS IS NOT HOW ANYONE TREATS SOMEONE THEY LOVE... It hurts to admit I have been taken advantage of and used but I see it for what it truly is... I don't know how to get him to leave (I have tried) I am thinking of letting my boys visit with my parents for a few weeks until all the food runs out and they have no other choice. Plz don't be too harsh because I KNOW that I should have put more thought into it before allowing him to move in etc at the time I honestly thought it would be a teamwork deal and we would both benefit from it.... My heart has been beating irregularly from the stress and my anxiety is thru the roof... Want him to leave in a nice fashion without him tearing things up out of anger thanks :-/
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:03 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:11 PM
32 moms liked this

Run fast.  You should have a long time ago.  Evict him. 

This is why I tell my girls to never live with someone until they know them several years or better yet till they marry.  My sound mean but I told my girls to never date someone with kids.  Too much baggage and they owe too much to a first wife.  This guy has 5 kids.  Huge red flag for me.  So far my girls have listened and one will be engaged next year probably. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:16 PM
54 moms liked this
I would seriously up and leave. A guy who mooches off a struggling single mom is a piece of shit in my eyes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this

you need to tell him to leave...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:38 PM
3 moms liked this
I have asked him nicely to leave and even told him that he and his DD need to make other arrangements, I told him clearly that I can not do it on my own for 8 ppl if it wasn't my home I would have left long ago. I hate this for his kids his 2 oldest DS are highly intelligent respectful and good young men far better than their father ever will be but again they were raised by their SF the 16 yo flat out told him he should be providing for their needs I can't believe how that didn't sink in if my DS told me that I would be crushed
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:41 PM
4 moms liked this
He saw you coming. Sorry.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Yep!

Quoting Anonymous:

Run fast.  You should have a long time ago.  Evict him. 

This is why I tell my girls to never live with someone until they know them several years or better yet till they marry.  My sound mean but I told my girls to never date someone with kids.  Too much baggage and they owe too much to a first wife.  This guy has 5 kids.  Huge red flag for me.  So far my girls have listened and one will be engaged next year probably. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:45 PM
6 moms liked this

Have yous broke up? Break up with , tell him it's not working... tell him whatever it takes to get him out... you don't love him the way you thought you did... anything you think may work... tell him your seeing alawyer to see how you can go abotu getting him out. Try not to do it around the kids if your able though. If you have a Dad and brothers have them come over to help him pack up his stuff or just to see him out. Or pack his stuff up and change the locks even. Get him out!

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:55 PM
15 moms liked this
I would serve him with eviction papers. Tell him he has 10 days to leave the property.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:55 PM
3 moms liked this
Not broke up but I did tell him I can't do this (our relationship) anymore bc I am not happy, I am afraid I have gotten in over my head because even tho he KNOWS I want him out he doesn't want to give up his free ride either, yes I have thought about having my dad help no brothers but my widowed neighbor who I befriended before I met BF is aware and said he would help he is a big Jesse James looking guy so that may help... I wish it was as easy as telling him to leave but that hasn't clicked in yet. I told him he needs find somewhere else to go before I left for work this morning maybe this time he will actually do so
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 4, 2014 at 10:57 PM
13 moms liked this
You're too nice so he isn't taking you serious.

Quoting Anonymous: Not broke up but I did tell him I can't do this (our relationship) anymore bc I am not happy, I am afraid I have gotten in over my head because even tho he KNOWS I want him out he doesn't want to give up his free ride either, yes I have thought about having my dad help no brothers but my widowed neighbor who I befriended before I met BF is aware and said he would help he is a big Jesse James looking guy so that may help... I wish it was as easy as telling him to leave but that hasn't clicked in yet. I told him he needs find somewhere else to go before I left for work this morning maybe this time he will actually do so
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