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Don't know what to do about this.

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:21 AM
  • 38 Replies
(Please read all the way through.) My father, he's not a darling, or dear, was sexually abusive to me when I was a child (not looking for sympathy, I have dealt with it and put it behind me.) He served his time. (15 yrs) He never touched my brother, he is now back home with my mother, please don't bash her, she can't take care of herself, so she took him back. I have 3 ds, no dd, so my boys have been allowed to spend the night at my parents and go camping with Grandpa. I would definitely feel different if I did have any dd, I would not allow her around him. But he is actually a great grandparent to my boys, he has never touched them. Anyways, I recently found out that my father likes to go to local parks and watch kids play baseball, as I did when I was young. I know it brings back better memories, but it worries me what other thoughts he may have with other little girls running around. He was never a predator, I was the only one. But it still worries me. I do not spend time with or talk to my father, he has not changed, I know this from personal experience when he said some inappropriate things to me a few years back. So yes, my fear is valid. He is a sick man. I don't think there is anything I can do about it since he hasn't done anything to anyone else. What would you do knowing this about a family member?
by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:25 AM
6 moms liked this
He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:27 AM
This

Quoting Anonymous: He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
my3lilboys31013
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:28 AM
He never did anything to my brother or my sons. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he lives with my mom and I would never shut her out, she is a wonderful person and would do anything for me.

Quoting Anonymous: He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:39 AM
2 moms liked this
And having your mother in their lives means you have to leave your kids there without you? Your mother can't come to you for visits?
I have a hard time believing she's so wonderful if she was letting him abuse you. She even took him back. How did she manage to survive fifteen years without him if she's so helpless?

Quoting my3lilboys31013: He never did anything to my brother or my sons. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he lives with my mom and I would never shut her out, she is a wonderful person and would do anything for me.

Quoting Anonymous: He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
rissat79
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:02 PM

Report him. He should not be allowed around other CHILDREN. You may need some more therapy. Allowing you kids around him? No, just no!

my3lilboys31013
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:32 PM
My mother does come to me for visits, I said I do not see or talk to him. My boys are perfectly safe around him and my mother didn't take care of herself, my brother and I took care of her for 15 yrs. She is not very smart and has epilepsy, she cannot financially support herself. She didn't know it was happening to me when I was a kid, I don't blame her. She did the best she could to keep the family together when he went to prison.


Quoting Anonymous: And having your mother in their lives means you have to leave your kids there without you? Your mother can't come to you for visits?
I have a hard time believing she's so wonderful if she was letting him abuse you. She even took him back. How did she manage to survive fifteen years without him if she's so helpless?

Quoting my3lilboys31013: He never did anything to my brother or my sons. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he lives with my mom and I would never shut her out, she is a wonderful person and would do anything for me.

Quoting Anonymous: He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
my3lilboys31013
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:38 PM
Report what though? What can I prove that he is doing anything wrong? Thinking? I don't need more counseling, I am perfectly healthy in my head. My boys are perfectly safe around him. My niece has never and will never be allowed around him.

Quoting rissat79:

Report him. He should not be allowed around other CHILDREN. You may need some more therapy. Allowing you kids around him? No, just no!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting my3lilboys31013: He never did anything to my brother or my sons. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he lives with my mom and I would never shut her out, she is a wonderful person and would do anything for me.

.... as far as you know.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this
You're asking others what they would do. That is what I would do. I wouldn't leave my children alone with someone who had victimized a child.
I truly don't understand your logic. It's okay to have this pedophile watch your kids because he only likes little girls?

Quoting my3lilboys31013: My mother does come to me for visits, I said I do not see or talk to him. My boys are perfectly safe around him and my mother didn't take care of herself, my brother and I took care of her for 15 yrs. She is not very smart and has epilepsy, she cannot financially support herself. She didn't know it was happening to me when I was a kid, I don't blame her. She did the best she could to keep the family together when he went to prison.


Quoting Anonymous: And having your mother in their lives means you have to leave your kids there without you? Your mother can't come to you for visits?
I have a hard time believing she's so wonderful if she was letting him abuse you. She even took him back. How did she manage to survive fifteen years without him if she's so helpless?

Quoting my3lilboys31013: He never did anything to my brother or my sons. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he lives with my mom and I would never shut her out, she is a wonderful person and would do anything for me.

Quoting Anonymous: He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
my3lilboys31013
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:52 PM
My boys are 9, 17, and 19, and my 9 yr old doesn't go over there very often. My niece is never allowed around him. The older boys are aware of what he did and they would have told me if he ever tried anything, which he NEVER did. The question wasn't about my kids being around him, it was what would you do about him going to the parks? I could report him, but for what? Having thoughts?

Quoting Anonymous: You're asking others what they would do. That is what I would do. I wouldn't leave my children alone with someone who had victimized a child.
I truly don't understand your logic. It's okay to have this pedophile watch your kids because he only likes little girls?

Quoting my3lilboys31013: My mother does come to me for visits, I said I do not see or talk to him. My boys are perfectly safe around him and my mother didn't take care of herself, my brother and I took care of her for 15 yrs. She is not very smart and has epilepsy, she cannot financially support herself. She didn't know it was happening to me when I was a kid, I don't blame her. She did the best she could to keep the family together when he went to prison.


Quoting Anonymous: And having your mother in their lives means you have to leave your kids there without you? Your mother can't come to you for visits?
I have a hard time believing she's so wonderful if she was letting him abuse you. She even took him back. How did she manage to survive fifteen years without him if she's so helpless?

Quoting my3lilboys31013: He never did anything to my brother or my sons. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he lives with my mom and I would never shut her out, she is a wonderful person and would do anything for me.

Quoting Anonymous: He wouldn't be in my life at all, and he DEFINITELY would never be left unattended with my children. How do you know he only likes little girls?
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